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We have a lady at work. Apparently a caucasian, with a little something extra thrown in, on the paternal side. She was always told that the something extra was "Native American". Not a bad looking lady, fairly smart, a little annoying sometimes, in that she's a dedicated "company man". Likeable, but not overly likeable. Typical sort of redneck woman, with a public school education.

The fact that this woman is married to a black man is relevant here. And, the fact that her daddy disapproved of the marriage is very relevant. White girls just DON'T marry black men in the south, of course.

She and her sisters wanted to find out more about their ancestry, so they sent off DNA samples to learn more about their ancestry. I guess one sister sent her sample to one company, another sister sent her sample to another, and the third sister used yet another service. Kind of a quality control check, there.

Results come back, and there is no hint that there is any Native American ancestry. However, there is a list of half dozen or more east African and central African tribes. Maybe an error? Possibly, but if so, why would all three sisters get same (actually, very similar, the lists of tribes weren't precisely the same) results from three different companies?

Sisters approach Daddy, and inform him of what they've learned. Daddy's reply, "I don't know what you're talking about."

I note that Daddy didn't outright deny the results, instead pleading ignorance. Funny, I think. Sounds like Daddy might have heard from Great Granny about some family scandal or something, but isn't ready to admit it.

No, I didn't inquire about the family's history during the slave days. I don't want to know the details, nor do I especially want to encourage a friendship with this woman. She is a rather annoying woman, remember. But, I find it amusing that a fine, upstanding member of the redneck community (the father, not the daughter who married a black man) has been found out as being part African. Gotta wonder if Daddy and/or any of his male relatives have been members of the KKK.

I also didn't inquire as to Daddy's relationship with his grandchildren. Can a bigoted redneck admit that he has half (or more than half) black grandchildren?

The woman in question can't exactly be avoided at work. I'm certain to hear more details in the coming weeks and months, whether I want to hear them or not.

Which suggests a question: How many Americans who claim to be "part Native American" are really "part former slave"? How about those who claim to be "part Hispanic"? How 'bout Pocahontas Warren?

It's annoying when you must hear only one side of someone's cell phone call. If they were courteous, they would put it on speaker so everyone around them could hear.

Further, when you can only hear one side, you cannot really understand what is going on.

For example . . .

Ring ring

Hello?

No! I'm not driving.

Well, yes I am in the car. But I'm stuck in traffic. Thus not driving. The car is in park right now.

No, I left the car seats at home.

Calm down, I don't need them. I don't have the kids with me.

No! No. Of course, I did not leave the kids alone. I left them safely with the dog.

Yes, I know it's my weekend.

They'll be alright. They're very smart for their age -- after all, I am their father. And the oldest is almost 7.

I just needed a break. That's all.

No. Don't worry. I am not going to the strip club. Not while this traffic is stuck.

You don't seem to understand. How can I be drinking and driving when I'm stuck in traffic, car in park, not driving? I know better than to drink and drive at the same time.

No, I'm not with my drinking buddies.

What do you mean "then where are they"? I swear, they are not in the car!

Look, they jumped out of the car because we could see a liquor store on the next block. And traffic isn't moving. I'm not with them because they haven't returned yet with more drinks for us. And we're taking turns driving, so it's okay.

Chill out. Nobody is drinking when it is their turn to drive.

What are you so upset about? I can't understand what you are saying.

You cannot have your Pork and eat/fly It too.

If the SLS flies, it will be so expensive that it will quickly implode the program.

In order to keep the program, the SLS must perpetually be in a state of delay, which will cancel the program.

Everyone knows pork does not fly.

Typewriters are ancient and should be abolished. People who want to keep a typewriter should be punished by being forced to use one.

One problem with typewriters is that sometimes certain letters might not work.

This would make it difficult to understand an article explaining the difference between a 3.5 inch floppy di_{_}k and a big hard di_{_}k, versus a mi_{_}roSD   _{_}ard.

It would become almost impossible for the reader to infer what the malfunctioning letter might be.

Or multiple malfunctioning letters on some typewriters.

MDC quotes are going in the motd at the bottom of the page rotation starting tomorrow morning if my alarm can wake me up before I have to head out for yet another day of extreme remodeling. Post your favorites here.

[Update: Let's give it until Saturday before they go live, so people can be awake to actually contribute some quotes.]

[Update: (20190327_122317 UTC) Looks like @The+Mighty+Buzzard; had the same idea. He will collect sayings from comments to either one. New quotes can be added later, of course, but I would suggest getting any suggestions in as soon as possible. It's currently Wednesday, a reasonable cutoff date would be recommendations made through Saturday, inclusive. --martyb]

What Got this Started:

Like many others here, I was saddened to learn of the passing of Michael David Crawford (MDC).

Then I saw takyon's comment with a suggestion:

Maybe we can put a quote or two of his in the quotations thing.

"You say that like it's a bad thing."
"I Am Eternally In Your Debt."
"The Mind Simply Reels."
"Thank You For Your Submission. Our customer service personnel will respond to your request in the order it was received."

I think that is a brilliant idea! Disclaimer: I have not discussed this with anyone else on staff. Absent any opposition, I hereby volunteer to take on this task. A quick look at the man pages for fortune and for strfile as well as references in the code suggests it should be relatively straightforward.

What I Need from the SoylentNews Community:

MDC was... prolific in his writings. On SoylentNews alone, I see 6683 comments and who knows how many Journal entries. I can read pretty quickly, but not THAT fast! Further, my reading of something may miss a nuance that was obvious to someone else. So, I'm asking for help from the community.

If there was an expression or phrase of his which you would like to be considered, please reply to this journal entry with:

1. The quotation you would like considered.
2. A link (or links) to where you found it.

I would hope it would be obvious why, but I need to ascertain that said quote was actually his. If the quotation was taken from SoylentNews, then please provide a link to the actual comment (the link under the (#nnnnnn) part of the comment title bar) or, at a minimum, to the story or journal article in which it appeared.

If the quote is from elsewhere, then please provide a link to where it appeared.

So what say you? What has Michael David Crawford posted on-line that you would like to see considered for memorialization on this site?

Task:
        To blink an LED.

        A blinking LED is required on a control panel to indicate
          a warning condition.
        Therefore it must be extremely reliable.

Hardware engineer:

        Easy, I'll use a 555, a few resistors and a capacitor; or LM3909 chip.
        Done. Did I win a prize?

DIY Maker:

        Easy. I'll use an Arduino with the blink sketch and a resistor.
        Done. I have more billable hours than the first guy.

Senior Software Engineer:

        You guys have it all wrong.
        Such a system would never be flexible enough for a real application
          where a blinking LED indicator is required.

        Consider the inflexibility of the 555 approach.
        What if the marketing people change the requirements from a simple
          on/off blink to a different blink pattern.
        The simplest example would be the double blink.
                Blink, Blink, long pause, Blink, Blink, etc.

        Then consider the lack of sophistication that the Arduino has.
        With a simple microcontroller you can't have a web interface
          to configure the LED's blink rate.
        You would have to re flash the firmware.

        With a more sophisticated controller, like a Raspberry PI, or
          even better, a Beagle Bone, the system could automatically
          check on the internet for software updates; and automatically
          download and apply them.
        For security, downloads could be signed with 4096 bit keys
          using private certificates from the manufacturer.
        (This also ensures ongoing contracts since no other vendor
          would have the private certificates.)
        Higher end boards provide more flexibility.
        The LED controller could have it's own WiFI connection to
          not burden the rest of the system to provide its
          internet access.
        And even better . . .

(lightning bolt strikes in mid sentence)

Hipsters and millennials, please learn what irony means. Most of the ways you use it, they're just you being a pretentious little shit not irony. This is irony (and also funny as a motherfucker).