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I was busy yesterday. I wrote a Mars, Ho! chapter and posted it, and spent the rest of the day on drudgery. Specifically, getting The Paxil Diaries in print. I finally finished this morning and ordered a copy.

I don't like the price a bit. The list price is $38, if Amazon or someone sells it to you I get $2.50. If you guys want a copy it's $28.50. I need a cheaper printer. It is a fat book, though, weighing in at 347 pages. It's Twice as long as Nobots.

I mentioned before that rather than waiting until stuff turns green in town I'd found a painting I'd done as a kid that fits it perfectly. I recently remembered that there's an Escherism in it.

I'll link to the URL with the cheaper but way too high priced version after my copy arrives and I check it out to make sure I didn't screw anything up.

Now I have to finish converting it to HTML because hey, you guys don't need to spend thirty bucks. It's just there if you want something for your shelf.

Chapter One
Previously...

Fusion
      As I was floating back to the pilot room, Tammy was waiting outside her quarters, hanging from the doorway with one hand. "Is Destiny OK?" she said with a worried tone.
      "She will be," I said. "A little anoxia." They'd warned us about anoxia in Captain's training and I'd seen it before. "She's in the infirmary getting oxygen. You can see her if you want but she was still unconscious when the robot took her."
      "Thanks. I would have thought you'd have stayed with her."
      "God knows I'd like nothing better, but I have to make sure we get to Mars alive. We're off course and I have to inspect the ship to make sure it isn't about to blow up or anything. Look, I gotta go," I said as I continued to the pilot room.
      We were even farther off course than I'd feared. Now it was a matter of juggling speed and fuel usage to the company's specifications.
      Back in the old days, way before my time, these boats weren't so automated. Crews were human rather than robot, and the Captain had to calculate all this stuff by hand, with their primitive computers helping.
      Captains had to go to college back then, and some of the crew, too. The Captain had to figure out all that shit almost by hand; he needed to know calculus. Hell, I ain't even took algebra even though I could have in high school.
      I made the adjustments the computer read out, and we had gravity again and were going the right way. I didn't look at what gravity was, and it was hard to tell since we'd been so heavy before weightlessness.
      The empty crew's quarters were first, then cargo pens. I wondered why they call them that.
      "Who is it?" a voice said at my knock. Presumably Kathy, which was the name on the doorplate.
      "Captain Knolls. Ship inspection, you girls should be used to this by now."
      "Yeah? You should be used to us telling you to fuck off, too."
      "Door, open. I can lock you up any time I want, you know. I don't even need no excuse."
      "I ain't got no drops, bitch."
      I suddenly realized why they called them "pens". They were designed to house any species of animal, and a word Destiny had teased me for using came to mind.
      Feral. From what I'd read of Tammy's book, some of these whores were more animal than human, especially when they didn't get their drops. It had driven Billie wild enough that she'd wound up blowing her quarters up, with her in it.
      I sighed. "I hope you're lying. From what I found out I'm better off when you have them."
      "Well, cough 'em up, Joe!"
      I laughed, and replied "I ain't got no drops, bitch!"
      I did wonder why they hadn't run out. Where were they getting them? They shouldn't have been able to get them onto the boat in the first place.
      Billie's quarters were next. She, along with some fifty odd fellow cargo were confined for the duration. Of course, I just opened the door and entered, taser in hand. This would have been a "brig" back when Captains had diplomas.
      The robots had done a good job, but they always did. Except for making coffee. They suck at that. But you couldn't tell that she'd almost burned to death. Well, except that her hair was really short and frizzly.
      "Inspection."
      "I ain't got no drops, bitch."
      "Whatever," I sighed, and inspected the quarters. It was obvious she was lying, her eyes gave her away. I wondered again where the drops were coming from.
      After hearing "I ain't got no drops, bitch" so many times I didn't even hear it any more I went to inspect the infirmary, the one part of the inspection I looked forward to. I wanted to see how Destiny was.
      Tammy was sitting there talking with her. "John!" Destiny said. "Tammy told me you saved my life."
      I blushed, and grinned sheepishly. "It's my job."
      Tammy laughed. "Bullshit, any other 'cargo' wouldn't have made it. Destiny almost died, and she would have if you weren't moving so frantically. God but you're fast!"
      Destiny pulled me close and kissed me. "Thanks, Johnnie," she whispered, then said in a normal voice "go ahead and finish your inspection, I should be able to go home in half an hour. I'll meet you there."
      I walked back to the starboard generator and wondered why in the hell I had to do this. I mean, I don't know anything about a fusion generator. There was a stairway to get there, as the generators and engines were on the "bottom" of the boat. It was the "bottom" because the ion engines pushing against the ship pushed everything else the other way. Something about "three laws of thermoses" or something but I think I was hung over that morning's training and don't really remember. Something about actions and opposite reactions or something.
      I went over the checklist and checked the first engine. These things were huge and there were a lot of them. A hell of a lot of electricity went through those things.
      I had two more engines to go when an alarm went off. "Damned whores, not now!" I thought.
      But it wasn't the whores, it was the port generator and I couldn't get in; the computer said it was an inferno in there. Hell, that damned thing should have shut down automatically. I pulled the breaker and there was a sort of thump. Damn. Another trip to the pilot room, we were going to be off course again.
      It would have to cool before the robots could start repairing it, if it was repairable at all. Damn, if the other generator went out...
      I called Destiny. "Honey, I'm really sorry but this is going to take a while."

Continues.

I'm on a roll this morning. Besides this chapter I've started on a foreword; as I write this thing new ideas pop into my head and the foreword will be sort of a teaser you'll think of when you see the surprise at the end (hey, I have to give some sort of clue).

Someone said my web site was ugly so I added a <style> tag and filled out the <body> tag. Happy now?

Yesterday was beautiful and all I did was get a haircut, take Leila to lunch and spent the afternoon in Felbers' beer garden. Spring fever?

Now it's snowing. I'm staying inside today.

Chapter One
Previously...

Oxygen
      The cargo hold door was open. That wasn't right, that door should always be closed. I went in, scared to death about Destiny, straight for the airlock.
      The outside hatch of the airlock was open, which meant somebody was outside the boat. That relieved me a little, I'd worried one of the whores had thrown her out the airlock without a suit. But the open hatch said that thankfully hadn't happened.
      It also said that I wasn't getting outside here. Thankfully there were three airlocks that doubled as boat docks. One was for the Captain's houseboat connected to the pilot's room, and the other two were at opposite ends of the ship. Sometimes dozens of ships coupled like this traveled together. It's supposed to be cheaper that way for big loads.
      I flew as fast as I could to the other wing, put on a suit and went through the other docking airlock, closing it behind me.
      The climb on the skyscraper-like boat was a lot easier without gravity. It was probably stupid of me but I was in a hurry to get to Destiny, who was probably dying by now so I didn't bother with tethers, I just moved as fast as I could. My God but this woman was my life! The thought of losing her... I climbed faster.
      I kept trying to call her on the suit radio, knowing it was useless. Her radio probably wasn't even turned on or she would have tried to call me rather than following me out.
      I finally made it around to the airlock she'd left open and saw her floating about six or so meters from the boat. I hooked two tethers to a rung next to the airlock and one to my suit and pushed off towards her. She wasn't moving and that worried the hell out of me, if she was conscious she'd be thrashing around in a panic. She was obviously out of air.
      You would think climbing a tether without gravity pulling at you would be easy. You'd be wrong.
      There's no gravity but there's still mass. There was the mass of two humans and two suits, which weren't all that light. I climbed the tether to the lock and pulled her in behind me.
      Finally inside the airlock I shed my gloves and her helmet. She took a big gasp of air - she was alive! I got our suits off as the medical robot wheeled her away with an oxygen mask on her face.
      I floated back to the pilot room to make the course correction. The ship's inspection would be a little late today.
      I should have inspected the ship first.

Continues.

For those of you new to my writing, I like to write while sitting in a bar stool and my favorite bar is a little redneck place in the ghetto. It's always full of interesting characters, most of whom I know well, and there are all kinds of folks. It's mostly construction workers but the crowd ranges the gamut from homeless crackheads to successful business people, from age 21 to quite elderly, from illiterate to college-educated.

Most of Nobots was written there. I left a signed copy in the bar for anyone to read with the admonition that it was not to leave the bar. Several folks wanted to read it, but not sitting in a bar stool. So I donated a second, unmarked copy for loaning out.

Heather, one of the patrons there, had been nagging me to loan her a copy and I kept forgetting to bring one. So I finally remembered, but she wasn't there so I loaned it to Art. Art is a bookworm, a little older than me who likes sitting in the beer garden with a book when the weather's nice. But it's a little dark inside for reading.

The next time I saw Heather she nagged again, and I told her I'd loaned it to Art. The next time I was in there, Art had left it with the bartender and Heather came up. "You got that book?" She demanded. "Ask Ruthie," I said. "It's behind the bar."

So yesterday a guy texted me (in code, of course) that he had some weed and did I want some? So I texted back "2@4" meaning two bags at four o'clock. I started the car about two or so; it was damned cold yesterday. It's been damned cold all winter. Yesterday it only got to 17F (minus eight point three in celcius). So I let the car warm up or I'd have hypothermia before I got there.

I walked inside from the parking lot and was snowblind when I went in. I couldn't tell who anybody was, just made out vague figures. A stool looked open, no drink in front of it so I sat down, still uable to see well. It was really bright outside and like I said, you'd have a hard time reading paper in there. Rachel, a co-owner, was tending bar and got be a beer. Damn it, their draft cooler had gone out a week ago so it was just bottles and cans, more expensive than draft.

My eyes finally dialated enough to see. There was a young guy I'd never seen before to my right, the woman to my left I could finally see was Jeri Lynn, and man was she loaded! I'd never seen her so messed up. Drunk as a skunk and sporting cocaine eyes. I think she was trying to seduce me, but she was way too loaded and I was way too sober; she's not bad looking but nobody looks good when they're shitfaced.

KY and a few other folks at one end of the bar waved. A woman I didn't recognize at first walked up - I dated her several years ago until I found out she was married to some rich guy, and there was no way I was going to put her kids through what my kids went through. Embarrisingly, I can't remember her name.

We chatted and reminisced about our short-lived romance. I mentioned that I almost didn't recognize her because she'd cut her hair short. She said "it went gray, too. That's why I cut it."

Damned if she wasn't hitting on me, too. Was I wearing a George Clooney mask or something?

She asked what I'd been doing, and I told her I'd written Nobots and had retired last week. She wanted to buy a copy, and I refused to sell her one. However, the loaner book was behind the bar so I got it from Rachel and told her it was a gift. She protested.

"Look," I said, "When we were dating you would never let me pay. You bought me beer, food, carriage rides, and this is just a little thank-you." She bought me a beer and I went back to my stool. Heather came up before I sat down. "I loved your book!" she exclaimed, and gave me a big hug. Man, the women must have all had some really thick beer goggles on.

Billy, sitting at the far end of the bar by the front door, motioned me over. "Hey, I got some hash if you want some." I declined, the price was ridiculously low so the quality surely would as well. And I had some coming around shift change when the bartenders would be too busy to notice.

Art was sitting next to him. "That book was sure different," he said, and grinned. To us like we are to australopithecus!" He stuck a folded up piece of paper in my pocket. I looked at it when I sat down - there was a small bud wrapped up in it.

My former girlfriend came over to say goodbyes and tried to give me her new phone number. She threw a twenty on the bar in front of me and hurried out. The guy I'd been waiting for finally showed up and slipped me a coupld of bags, and I slipped him a couple of twenties.

I went home in a very good mood. Some things are far better than money!

I typed that out a week or two ago and waited until I had what was written of Mars, Ho! posted. I'll probably write a new chapter of that in a day or two.

I ran across another snag with The Paxil Diaries this morning. I got the covers acceptable and went to upload it to Lulu, but I'd formatted it to A5 and they don't have that in hardcover, only American Standatd size (which I abbreviate as ASS) and an even more rediculously big book. The only books on my bookshelf that big and bigger are monsters like the entire Lord or the Rings trilogy.

And I'm very unsatisfied with their prices. I got a postcard, actual dead tree delivered by the USPS from a printer in St. Louis. Their prices were good but what the price listed was perfect bound softcover and I'd been looking for hardcover. So I stuck it in a fat science fiction anthology I've been reading that someone gave me.

So I was at Lulu's site getting ready to upload Paxil and damn, that sucks. Well, lets see, perfect bound?

Ridiculously expensive. So I'll reformat the damned thing to ASS and call the lady at mirabooksmart, the St Louis place, tomorrow.

No promises, but you may be able to get a soft cover Nobots for ten or fifteen bucks in a while, and maybe a really cheap pocket book most people read and pass along.

The next Mars, Ho! chapter has been making my brain itch, so like I said it will be soon.

Oh, BTW, this is another Soylent exclusive.

Chapter One
Previously...

Meteors
      The damned alarm woke me up. Damn them whores... but it wasn't whores, it was a meteor shower. Fuck. I went to the pilot room.
      The meteors were tiny but when you're going fast, well, when a meteor shower is coming you want to slow down.
      Or speed up. Usually it was slow down but not this time. I spoke into the fone. "Attention, passengers and cargo. Prepare for higher gravity in ten seconds." Ten seconds later I gradually added thrust. We were almost at Earth-normal now, and man it was not the least bit comfortable. I felt like I weighed a ton.
      After these long interplanetary trips it was customary to spend a month or more in a gradually faster centrifuge until 1.3 normal. After a few days of this, Earth felt pretty good.
      Right now it wasn't too comfortable, but we had to outrun those rocks. We'd be at .85G for the next hour. It looked like I was going to be up early today, I had inspection in two hours. I was glad we'd gone to bed early instead of drinking, this would have been hell with a hangover. I went to my quarters and made coffee, wishing again that robots could make decent coffee.
      I flipped on the video and saw the last quarter of the zero-G football semifinals. That's one hell of a sport. Too bad Memphis lost.
      I was wishing we were back to half gravity again, just sitting here was tiring. When the game was over I headed back to the pilot room.
      I couldn't get in, over fifty angry whores were blocking the hallway. "You're all going to be confined if you don't let me through."
      One of them laughed. "You and whose army? You think you can take us all on?"
      I pulled out my taser. Most of them laughed. "Go inspect your boat, Joe." I don't know why the whores call me that, they know my name. The woman continued. "This full gravity is great, Joe, and we ain't givin' it up!"
      "Look," I said, "this acceleration is going to need a course correction. I have to get in that pilot room!"
      "Fuck off, Joe." Scattered giggling from the whores. I turned around and slunk off to the cargo area. I sure wasn't looking forward to this.
      Damn but the cargo area was a lot longer off than at half G. I finally got there, suited up, and went through the airlock.
      My God but I was scared. With the boat's acceleration it was like hanging from the side of a skyscraper. With weights on you. In a space suit with clumsy gloves.
      I hooked the A tether to the highest rung I could reach and climbed. When the tether was below me I hooked the B tether above and unhooked the A tether.
      I don't know how long it took me to get to the houseboat. I had to stop and rest a few times. I was sweating so hard I was afraid I'd drown in my suit.
      I finally got there, went inside, and pressurized it. I took off the suit and went through the dock into the pilot room, pulling the suit in behind me. I was soaked in sweat, I wouldn't have been wetter if I'd been caught in a thunderstorm on Earth.
      All my muscles ached, on fire. Them whores was going to be floating in a minute, I was really pissed off. I strapped into the pilot chair and killed the thrusters. The asteroid threat had long since passed and we'd been at high G way too long. Damn, our trajectory was way off.
      Well, I'd fix that later. Right now I had a bunch of whores to lock up, and I wasn't about to be gentle. I was hurting like hell from the climb, I stunk, I was really pissed off at those damned whores and almost hoped they'd give me an excuse to tase them.
      I was also looking forward to a shower. I was nasty.
      I checked the monitor - they were all still outside the pilot room, floating, guarding it from me, ignorant of how the houseboat was docked to the ship. I wonder what went through their heads when we started floating?
      I pulled out my taser and went outside. "All of you worthless bitches, hands behind your backs or God damn it I'm going to tase the shit out of you!"
      This time they complied. It took half an hour to get them all cuffed and another half hour to get them to their rooms. I stopped by my quarters to make sure Destiny was OK.
      She wasn't there. I knocked on Tammy's door. She opened it and said "You're probably looking for Destiny."
      "Yeah, you seen her?"
      "She was worried about you. She was heading toward the cargo bay right before we lost gravity."
      Holy hell, I hoped she hadn't gone outside the boat to find me. If she did, she was probably dead, or would be soon.
      I kicked off as hard as I could towards the cargo hold, flying as fast as I could.

This is a crude, rough draft of an upcoming book that is less than 10% finished.

This chapter is a Soylent's Fiction exclusive for a few days or so. It continues.

Chapter One
Previously...

Addiction
      I woke up before her for once. I took a shit... hey, you wanted everything, right? Started the coffee because the robots really suck at making coffee, and got dressed. I was just taking my first sip when the doorbell rang. It was Tammy.
      "Hi, uh Destiny invited me for coffee."
      "Come in. She's still asleep, I'll get you a cup."
      "Thanks."
      "Uh," I said, handing her a cup, "Destiny says you're a psychologist and a, uh I forgot. You're not a whore, you're studying them.."
      "Did destiny tell you that?"
      "She didn't have to. I ain't went to college but I ain't stupid, I can add two and two and get something between three and five. It's obvious."
      "Is it?"
      "Yeah, I wondered how you got the money for a ticket, but shit, you got two doctorates. You ain't gotta look for work."
      "Nope. Want to know about my studies?"
      "Huh?"
      "Jesus, you're a dumbass. I'm studying drug abuse and prostitution and you have two hundred drug addicted whores on board! Do you want an education, dumbass?"
      I felt like a dumbass. "Yeah, I guess it might help."
      "Here," she said, giving me a small memory chip.
      "What's this?"
      "Just read it. Don't worry, anything you don't understand I can explain."
      Shit, I hate reading. That's one thing where me and Destiny are different, she loves reading. "Well, you had me fooled when I met you."
      She laughed. "I study them, you don't know them at all. Don't let them know they're being studied or the study will be ruined."
      "I'm discrete. Guess I have some studying to do."
      "It'll save you a whole lot of trouble. I have some studying to do myself," Tammy said. "Tell Destiny to drop by when she wakes up. I'll be in the commons."
      I put the chip in the tablet and started reading.
      After reading for an hour and a half I had to put the tablet down. I was in trouble. No wonder they was paying me so good.
      Most of these girls were abused and sexually molested as children, most of them raised in foster care. Many and maybe most were children of criminal parents; thieves, often very violent. They were the kids society allowed to be ruined for life.
      It was sad. Most of them were droppers. There's a chemical name for drops in Tammy's book but I'd have to look it up.
      These girls hated sex, having a normal sex life was ruined in their childhoods when they were molested and abused. But drops made the whores enjoy getting fucked. Most of them had never had an enjoyable sexual experience until they put a drop in an eye before work.
      There were other psychoaffective (and yeah, I had to look that and lots of other shit up when I read that damned book) stuff. Her book had a lot of other big words like neurotransmitters and I just kind of glossed over them, I ain't went to college or nothing.
      I gathered the whores just stayed really fucked up.
      And the drug was highly addictive physically as well as in worse ways. It made the user the opposite of pissed off when under the influence. When that was taken away, well... it ain't pretty.
      "Damn," I thought, "Addiction must be a bitch" as I got another cup of coffee.
      It seemed I was in for serious trouble.

This is a crude, rough draft of an upcoming book that is less than 10% finished. This is the last of the chapters that were posted at slashdot, and in fact has a little added to the end.

I just "finished" tomorrow's chapter, which will be a Soylent's Fiction exclusive for a few days or so. Continues.

Chapter One
Previously...

Weightless
        It would be a couple of minutes before we were completely weightless. I lowered the throttle and gravity slowly went away as I dropped it. The gauges said we were stationary so I killed the motors. Stuff started floating around.
        Shit, I forgot about the coffee. I flew back to my cabin - and I mean literally, since there was no gravity. Destiny was floating above the couch. I pushed against the doorway towards her. "I like this," she said. "Lets make love, I've never been weightless before."
        "Well, I have, but I never had weightless sex before," I said.
        Having sex in zero G wasn't easy. Gravity makes almost everything easier.
        An hour and a half later my fone buzzed. "John? Bill here, I'm almost at you, can you adjust speed to match?"
        "Yeah, I'll be in the pilot room in a second." I set my fone to the shipwide speakers. "Attention, passenger and cargo. We will be experiencing low gravity shortly and then zero G again, so if you've been floating around with nothing to grab, now's your chance."
        I docked with Bill's ship. He called. "John, you want me to come over?"
        "You bet, old buddy. I ain't seen you in ages!"
        "See you in a minute."
        "I'm going to cargo," I said to Destiny. "Want to come along?"
        "And meet one of your friends? Try to stop me!"
        God, but I'd fallen in love with this woman. If it hadn't been for her the whores would have had me by now.
        We met Bill at the dock. "Bill, meet Destiny. She's, uh, I guess my best friend."
        Bill said "I thought I was your..." and looked at Destiny. "Oh. Damn I'm dumb. Pleased to meet you, Destiny. You hooked up with this guy? And I thought astronomers were smart!"
        I laughed. "Fuck you, Bill. Want a beer?"
        "You have beer? I was wondering what you were hauling. I thought you didn't do cargo runs any more?"
        "Well, this one's different. It ain't your normal cargo."
        "If beer ain't your cargo why do you have beer?"
        "I like beer! I have wine, too."
        "Hell... can you spare some, old buddy?"
        "Sure, I brought plenty. I can spare a few bottles of wine, too."
        Wow, thanks. No wonder I like you so much, you old asshole!" We both laughed. "So," he said, what's your cargo and why are you so rich right now."
        "Whores."
        "Huh?"
        "I'm hauling whores. They gave me a fifty percent bump in pay to haul 'em."
        "Christ, you always get the good assignments! How the hell did you manage this one?"
        "Hell if I know, the fucking CEO himself called me into his office. Scared the shit outta me."
        "you must be livin' right!"
        I laughed. "Me? Damn, Bill, you know me better than that."
        "Uh, 'scuse me, Miss, uh..."
        "Name's Destiny, Bill."
        "Uh, can I have a word in private with John?"
        She looked at me and winked. "Sure, Bill." She took off, knowing full well I'd tell her what happened later.
        "Ok, uh, look, John, I ain't been laid in like forever and you got hookers on board. Uh, you mind if I spend a little money on your boat?"
        "Bill," I said, "I am about to make your day. No, I'm gonna make your whole damn year! You're gonna get laid and it ain't gonna cost you a penny. These bitches are horny as hell. They'd pay you if they had any money. If you want an orgy, just go to my commons area and take your clothes off. Meanwhile, I'll gradually accelerate for a while while those batteries are being moved to your boat and installed, no sense in both of us being late."
        "Damn, buddy," Bill said. "You're the best friend I ever had!"
        I winked at him. "All for the company's bottom line. Make sure that's in your report!"
        "Christ, John, of course!"
        "Look, Bill, have fun with the whores and I'll meet you in my quarters after you get your rocks off."
        Bill owes me! ...and, well, I guess I owe him, too. Maybe the whores will leave me alone for a while, I got Destiny. I don't need no fucking whores. They're just a pain in my ass. I want a raise! Fifty percent more ain't enough to put up with these bitches.
        It would have been a lot different without Destiny. The whores would have probably took over my boat by now.
        I went back to the pilot room, recalculated the trajectory (at least that's what the computer said it was doing) and started gravity back up. We were moving again.
        When I got back to my quarters, Destiny said "You should talk to Tammy."
        "Huh? Why?"
        "She's not a simple street hooker, she holds two PhDs, one in anthropology and one in psychology. She was studying the droppers when she got hooked."
        "How the hell could that happen?"
        "I don't know, ask her. "
        "I can't, I was kind of an asshole when I first met her. I had to be of course, but that doesn't make me feel any better about it."
        "She likes you, John. She said that's one of the reasons."
        "Huh? She likes me because I was an asshole?"
        "She likes you because you aren't one of the knuckle draggers that would have let her on your boat for a blow job. She said you had a good character, and I told her I wouldn't have been with you if you hadn't.
        "She's really nice, really. I like her. Lets have coffee with her tomorrow."
        "Uh, OK, I guess."
        The doorbell buzzed. "Who is it?" Destiny said.
        "Wild Bill Corpse. Jesus... them whores damned near killed me! But what a way to die!" he said as the door opened, smiling wider than I'd ever seen anybody smile.
        "Did the robots finish moving the batteries?" he asked.
        "No," I said. "Is anybody but me hungry?"
        Bill grinned even wider. "I just ate! Damn, John, thanks! Hey, can I take a few with me?"
        "Get paper from the company and I'll do anything you want. But not without it, you know that."
        He laughed. "You thought I was serious? Damn, John, I'd never do anything to get you in trouble. Especially after tonight. God! This might be the highlight of my whole life!"
        "It'll be an hour before the robots finish," I said. "Lets eat something, I'm hungry. Come on, Bill, pussy isn't very filling. How about pizza?"
        "I could go for pizza," Destiny said. "Bill?"
        "Sure. Got a beer to go along with it?"
        "Yeah, didn't I tell you? Have a beer and take a few cases with you."
        "Damn, John..."
        "Look, Bill, what you did for me on that Jupiter run... you know. I couldn't have a better friend. You could have been ruined but you stuck up for me anyway. Ain't many people I know would do that." I chuckled. "My Mom, um, probably wouldn't."
        A table with a sliced pizza and three beers rolled over to us.
        We talked and laughed and ate pizza and drank beer and had a good time and promised each other to keep in touch.
        Bill shook my hand again and went back to his boat, and the docking retractors retracted the docking mechanism. Or something, I ain't went to college.
        I let him accelerate first, so he would be ahead if he had more trouble. Running on batteries... shit.
        Destiny and me didn't bother with a movie. We went straight to bed.

This is a crude, rough draft of an upcoming book that is less than 10% finished. This is the last of the chapters that were posted at slashdot, and in fact has a little added to the end.

I just "finished" tomorrow's chapter, which will be a Soylent's Fiction exclusive for a few days or so. Continues...

Wonder how much I would have to bribe someone to get an insanely high user number. Some number in the hundreds of billions would do. Trillions or more would be better, but it would need to be in scientific notation. Damn near NO ONE would actually count the zeros. Errr - wait - there probably are anal retentive geeks out there. Or obsessive compulsive nerds. Yeah, some few would count the digits.

Anyway - with some crazy high number, I can post from the far distant future. Infuriating nonsense, like, "Yes, Apple is still around today. They haven't innovated anything for centuries though. About all that's left of Apple, is their manufacturing facility in orbit around Mars, where they make a few specialty items for the Chinese Space Marines."

YES!! ICANHAZJOURNAL!

Of course, knowing me, this may very well be the last entry I ever make in the journal.

Chapter One
Previously...

Hangover
        I woke up with the worst hangover I had in years. Damn, that wine. I usually drank beer and I hadn't drank any at all in a few weeks.
        I didn't want to get out of the spinning bed, but I really had to pee bad. I staggered into the head and peed like forever. I wanted coffee. Damn, I was going to have to make coffee, the robots suck at making coffee. I hate robot coffee.
        I put on a robe and stumbled into the kitchen - and smelled coffee. It took a few seconds for my hungover eyes that I hadn't really used since I woke up, and in fact maybe I was still asleep, to see Destiny and two cups of coffee on the table.
        What a woman!
        "You're not hung over?" I said.
        "Hungover? I'm still drunk."
        I sipped my coffee. "What time is it?"
        The table said "The present time is..."
        "I wasn't talking to you, computer."
        Destiny laughed. "I don't know what time it is. Tuesday, maybe?"
        "Computer."
        "Waiting for input."
        Who programs these stupid things, anyway? "What damned time is it?"
        "The damned time is oh eight fifty seven."
        Shit, who programs... SHIT, I got fifteen minutes to get to the pilot room.
        "Shit!" I said. "I'm sorry, honey, I have to run."
        "Shouldn't you put some pants on first?"
        "I'm wearing a robe, I gotta go." I kissed her. "Bye." I ran to the pilot room, coffee mug in hand.
        I got there with two minutes to spare. All the readouts were nominal, which is egghead space talk for "everything is normal." At least, I think that's what it means.
        I went back to my quarters, kissed Destiny, put on some pants, filled my mug back up, and went on the morning inspection while little men with jackhammers were busy inside my head making my brain hurt.
        The reduced gravity didn't make my head less light or my stomach less queasy.
        I inspected the passengers' quarters first, since they were up front. Except Tammy's, of course. Passengers deserved privacy.
        After the little incident with the explosion I checked the rooms a little closer than I had been. Yeah, the doors stay locked but who knows what these drug-addled whores know? I couldn't even tell a whore from a real woman, look at Destiny, I thought she was a whore at first, just because she was cargo.
        I'd billeted Destiny in the closest cargo quarters to the passengers, but it hadn't mattered since she'd only went there once after the takeoff. She's been in my quarters since.
        This was the part I hated. I knocked on the door. Hell, I didn't have to since they were cargo but I don't want to be any more of an asshole than I have to. In some situations you have no choice, you got to be an asshole.
        I'm a boat captain, I'm used to being an asshole. I don't like it, but it's a shitty part of a great job.
        "Who is it and what do you want? I ain't got no drops, bitch."
        "It's Captain Knoll. I'm doing ship inspection. May I come in?"
        "No. Fuck off, asshole."
        "Door, open." The door opened and I went in. She was naked. "I don't have to be polite, dumbass. I just am. I'll skip it from now on if you prefer assholes."
        "I ain't got no drops, bitch."
        Gee, I've been hearing that a lot lately, and usually from one whore to another. "I ain't looking for drops. Just routine, damage or danger of damage."
        "I ain't got no drops, bitch."
        "Whatever."
        As I left for the next apartment two naked whores passed me, laughing. It was the two Thai chicks laughing about the fat blonde whose name I can never remember. Hell, there's two hundred of 'em and I ain't went to college or nothing.
        Lately it had gotten to where the only people on the boat who wore clothes were me, Destiny, and that Tammy girl.
        Nobody else was home, except Kathy and Dawn, who just yelled "come in" when I knocked and kept on playing with each other's pussy while I did my inspection.
        I'd skipped the infirmary and commons, I'd check them when I got back. They were between cargo and passenger quarters.
        Next was the engines, and they never had anything wrong with them. They should keep them in a vacuum, I thought, because I never once found a problem during an inspection and it didn't keep the engines on that Saturn run going.
        That Saturn run... that's why I stopped doing cargo. Lot of good my inspections did there. Jesus, that's a long time to be alone, I almost went crazy. I almost quit, but headquarters said I'd have passenger runs.
        It isn't like the boat stops moving when the engines stop. It's worse. You keep going but have no way to maneuver, you just keep going at the speed you were when the engines stop and they have to come to you to tow you to port.
        I checked out all of the shit my tablet told me to check out and walked back to the infirmary. Next time I'm on Earth I'm getting a bicycle or something, this is a big damned boat.
        "Hi, Billie."
        "Um, yeah, I am" she said, looking at the IV tube.
        "Don't get too used to it," I said. "You won't be in here long."
        "Well, I guess if I want to get high I'll hurt myself!"
        "Nope, that's up to me. Next time it's naproxin."
        While I was there I got some naproxin myself; my head was still throbbing but my stomach wasn't as bad. Now to inspect the commons.
        The commons area was huge, an eighth the size of the entire passengers deck with a full automated kitchen.
        It was full of naked whores.
        Half of them were practically begging me to have sex with them. Man, if it weren't for Destiny I'd be having a hell of an orgy right now. I hurried my ass back to my cabin when the inspection was over as fast as I could.
        Destiny was sleeping, so I figured I'd go over the inventory list. The maid would be noisy in about ten minutes.
        Right before the noisy damned machine showed up an alarm went off. Damn. DAMN! Fucking whores!
        But this time it wasn't the whores, it was a distress call from another ship. "Knolls, here," I said to the tablet. "How can I help?"
        I didn't know how far away the other boat was but it would probably take at least a minute for the signal to get to it unless it was really close. I laid the tablet down and opened a beer. Hair of the dog, you know. Halfway through the beer I decided to return the favor for Destiny; she was going to want coffee when she woke up, so I made a pot.
        The rackity machine came in and started noisily cleaning. Destiny woke up. "Damn, that thing's noisy," she said. "Do I smell coffee?"
        I handed her a cup and sat down next to her. "Thanks," she said "What do you want to do today..."
        The tablet interrupted her. "Captain Knolls? Is that you, John? Kelly here. Thank God somebody's in range. I'm about thirty light seconds behind you and one of my engines shorted out. It didn't leave enough fuel for me to make the Mars landing. I'm just coasting, so I'm going to be weeks late. Can you spare a couple of batteries?"
        Hey, it was Bill Kelly, an old friend driving one of our company boats. I'd known Kelly for years. "Wild Bill" they'd called him, even though he wasn't very wild at all.
        "Hey, Bill, sorry about your luck. Yeah, of course I can spare a few batteries, you might even have enough charge that you won't be too late. I'll go dead stop for a while so you can catch me."
        "Boat captains sure are busy," Destiny said.
        "Sorry, hon."
        I spoke into the tablet again. "Attention passenger and cargo. We will be enduring a short period of weightlessness, so be prepared. Captain Knolls out."
        "I don't think I've ever been weightless before," Destiny said.
        I grinned. "Get a barf bag, it upsets some folks' stomachs. I have to go to the pilot room. I'll be back shortly." I kissed her, threw the beer can at the noisy maid and walked to the pilot room.

This is a crude, rough draft of an upcoming book that is less than 10% finished. Continues