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Well, Covid sure changes a lot of stuff.

Saturday morning, I shut down the plant, like I do every week. Around 2:30 or 3:00 I started getting a hellacious headache. At 3:00 AM on a Saturday morning, you can't just call someone up, tell them "I don't feel well, I'm going home." I finished my job, then went home.

Over the weekend, I felt better, then worse, then better, then worse. Monday, felt alright most of the day. Got my sleep Monday afternoon, got up early evening, and damn if I didn't have to go worship at the porcelain throne.

Called in to work for a sick day. Now what? Drive all the way to Texarkana to the emergency room? The hell with that, that's where I'll catch the covid! So I lay around the house all night, feeling guilty for not going to work, and continuing to feel better, then worse.

Go to the clinic when it opens.

First thing, one of the ladies greets me at the entrance, and takes my temperature. That's never happened before! Strange, but yes, I understand.

Next thing, there's a little "X" marked with tape on the floor, in front of the receptionist's window. Oh-kay, I can go along with that, I remain at a long arm's distance from the receptionist, so we're not breathing on each other.

Here, I note that there are few people in the waiting room. Hope they're not all dead of corona virus! There are almost always half a dozen or more patients, often times with kids in tow. Today, it's just me, and one old lady.

Information, and initial screening done, I'm asked to sit in a specific section of the waiting room, far away from that old lady.

Ten minutes, and I'm called into a treatment room. The treatment room has changed - the computer is gone, most equipment is gone, there's just the examination bench, patient's chair, and nurse's stool. Lisa comes in, introduces herself, pulls a trolley in behind her with pressure cuff, thermometer, etc. Still no computer, instead, she writes vitals on the paper that pulls down over the examination table. Note, at no point has Lisa touched me. She manages to do it all without actually touching me with her hands, which are covered with latex gloves anyway.

Lisa leaves, and in comes a nurse, completely dressed out in a medical hazard suit. "My name is Beth, and I'm going to take swabs, to test you for the flu, and for strep throat." Sorry, I laughed. Told her, "I know it's not funny, but it's kinda nice to see someone else dressed out for a change!" I had to explain about electrical hazard suits, which are much bulkier, and almost assuredly more uncomfortable than the med suit. Not to mention much hotter, because I don't wear that thing in air conditioned spaces.

So, Beth sticks a swab down my throat until I gag. Another swab up each nostril until I'm about to scream. She leaves, and about 1/4 hour comes back to inform me that yes, I have both the flu, and strep throat. Beth asks me to drop my trousers, and pokes me with two needles. She is undeterred by my reminder that I'm allergic to needles. Some women are just mean, I guess.

Beth leaves, and Doc Martin comes in. Doc isn't dressed out, but like Lisa, she never touches me. She gives me two prescriptions, and I ask about the headache. She adds a script for cough syrup with codeine in it. From experience, codeine sounds like the right thing - moderately effective, which is better than most over-the-counter pain pills. Doc asks me to look up at the ceiling, close my eyes, and she sprays me down with some disinfectant, and we each leave the examination room.

Return to the receptionist, who tells me that I owe $25 copay. I inform her that I think I owe $30 already, she checks, and informs me that I only owe $15 from a previous visit, so the total is $40 and some change.

Out the door I go, and to the pharmacy. I could have walked up to the counter while still inside, but there's a note on the counter that the drive-thru is preferred, so that patients don't share breathing space with the druggists.

"This will take ten to fifteen minutes, Mr. Runaway, can you come back in a little while?"

Go sit in the sun for awhile, come back in fifteen, and sure enough, it's ready.

Oh, I'm off work for a week, quarantined to the house, AND, the company is paying me just like I'm at work. I have an email conversation in which HR repeatedly assures me that I will be paid, and they do NOT want me to return to work before I'm cured.

Hope none of you gets a contagious illness, but if you do, maybe you know what to expect now. Nothing shocking, it's all common sense, really. But things are different now!

Oh, I forgot one thing. Beth assured me that if she needed to do a swab for covid, it would be much worse than her swab for the flu. I've heard that they dig around with that swab really deep, trying to get a bit of your brain on the swab. Uggh.

Stay safe everyone, and try to avoid the doctor's office!!

Today I was introduce to Existential Comics via Scooby-Doo and the Case of the Missing Landlords.

The inevitable anguish of living a brief life in an absurd world, indeed.

One of the large motivations for Adam Smith writing The Wealth of Nations was to convince people to try to move capital away from the unproductive landlords (who at that time were mostly comprised of very wealthy landed English gentry) into the hands of entrepreneurs and workers. He noticed two things about landlords, first, as he puts it "The landlords, like all other men, love to reap where they never sowed, and demand a rent even for the natural produce of the earth."

There you have it from the horse's mouth: Adam Smith was a pinko commie, an undemocratic Marxist and would probably be a Remoaner had he been alive today.

Virus-Panicked Liberal Gun Buyers Are Getting Angry When They Discover Their Own Gun Control Laws

Posted at 1:15 pm on April 10, 2020 by Kira Davis

I was chatting with a friend of mine recently and the topic of gun sales came up. My friend’s father owns a gun range near me and she said he’s seen a huge amount of liberals coming in to purchase weapons in recent weeks.

How does he know they’re liberals?

“They’re shocked to discover they can’t just walk out of the store with a gun.”

We’ve all heard about gun sales skyrocketing recently, but I hadn’t considered some of the tangential effects of the phenomenon until I spoke to my friend. Not only are many liberals suddenly learning to love their Second Amendment rights, many of them are finding out that the gun control narrative in this country — as repeated loudly and often by Hollywood and the mainstream media — is a complete lie.

So, I contacted my friend’s father to ask about what he is seeing personally at his own range these days. Gregg Bouslog runs On-Target Indoor Shooting Range in Laguna Niguel, CA. It’s where I taught my son to shoot and where I’ll teach my daughter once the chaos lifts. He says that while others are stuck at home while the economy grinds to a halt, he’s been working nonstop at the range as the applications for background checks and permits are stacking up daily. Bouslog claims he hasn’t done business like this since the days of Obama.

        As the owner of an indoor shooting range and gun store here in California these past 14 years we have never experienced such a huge demand for firearms and ammunition – even higher than the famous Obama rush of 2012/2013.

While it’s nice to see some businesses flourishing in these scary times, Bouslog says that safety has been a huge issue at the range, as many first-time buyers seem to have gotten all of their notions about guns and gun safety from television.

        We tried to look at just who the new firearm purchasers were and we believe that more than 60% of these individuals were first time buyers. I can’t describe the amount of fear in my staff as we had the buyers show proof of safe handling as part of the purchase process as required by law. You have never seen so many barrels pointed at sales staff and other customers. It was truly frightening. We had to keep stopping the process to give quick safety lessons. We are adding many more basic classes in the coming weeks and encouraged these buyers to please attend. We hope they do.

This isn’t hard to believe. As a gun-owner who formerly abhorred the Second Amendment, I can personally testify to the fact that most people who believe they are anti-gun are actually just anti-stupid. They just don’t realize they’re projecting their own stupidity onto law-abiding gun owners. They imagine that we gun owners are just a bunch of yahoos out here combing our mullets, waving our guns around to look sexy while we look for anything or anyone to shoot at any time. They have no respect for the power of a weapon and treat them accordingly, which is what Bouslog is witnessing firsthand at his range. We gun owners, of course, take safety, care and precautions quite seriously. These are ingrained in the culture of gun ownership.

While the safety of the employees at the range is a very serious matter, the most amusing and annoying part for the staff has been watching these first-time buyers discover just how stringent gun laws in California really are, including one of our newest laws requiring background checks before buying ammunition. Bouslog says it’s a bridge too far for the people who have been told their whole lives that it’s easier to get a gun than an abortion.

        More than a dozen of these buyers (men and women) actually thought that since they filled out and signed everything, they could just walk out and go home with the firearm. Several actually said they saw how easy it was to buy a gun on TV and why did they have to fill out all these forms.

        The majority of these first timers lost their minds when we went through the Ammo Law requirements. Most used language not normally heard, even in a gun range. We pointed out that since no one working here voted for these laws, then maybe they might know someone who did. And, maybe they should go back and talk to those people and tell them to re-think their position on firearms – we were trying to be nice.

        Most were VERY vocal about why it takes 10 days minimum (sometimes longer if the DOJ is backed up) to take their property home with them. They ask why do I need to wait 10 days if I need the protection today or tomorrow? We pointed out again that no one working here voted in support of that law.

        They really went crazy when we told them that for each firearm they had to do the same amount of paperwork and they could only purchase ONE handgun every 30 days. Again, we didn’t [vote] for that law.

        We had people cuss at us and stomp out when we explained that secondary identification had to be part of the paperwork, as they felt insulted that what they had wasn’t good enough. We have a number of Yelp reviews calling us names and other things about how bad we are because of this whole new buyer rush

Again, I truly hope for the safety of those range employees in the face of so many uninformed and incurious first-time buyers. That being said, I find this whole situation fascinating. So many things in our economy and way of life are shifting monumentally these days. Could the gun control battle be one of them?

I discovered the idiocy of my anti-gun beliefs once I decided to learn about them firsthand. The Hollywood mystique immediately fell away and I was imbued with a new respect for weaponry and the people who dedicate their lives to weapons safety and serving and protecting the Second Amendment. You can’t know how bonkers our gun control laws are until you go try to buy one yourself.

There are a lot of people like me out there right now — first-timers and Second Amendment haters who feel like a hypocrite for wanting a gun for protection. Like I did, now they are navigating our convoluted gun laws for themselves and discovering that it is just not possible to walk into a store, buy a gun and leave with it in your pocket.

As these revelations begin to spread among our liberal brethren in the state of California, will we see a shift in gun laws and support for anti-Second Amendment legislators? Only time will tell, but it will surely be an interesting question to ponder in the coming months and years.

*Special thanks to Gregg Bouslog of On-Target Indoor Shooting Range in Laguna Niguel, CA for sharing his experience with us.

There is an illustrated version of this on my web site. The illustrations may be necessary.
        First, this is for the benefit of children but adult supervision is absolutely necessary! These are real rockets that really fly and like SpaceX or NASA rockets, there is real fire.
        Before we build a real rocket we need to understand how real rockets work. A rocket has some sort of propellant, a place to put the propellant, like a propellant tank in a liquid-fueled rocket, and a nozzle. These matchstick rockets need only one more thing, but large space rockets need a lot more.
        The last thing we need to launch our rocket, once it’s been built, is a launch pad/gantry combination.
        Rocket engines work by the physical principle that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The rocket is pushed forward by expelling its exhaust in the opposite direction at high speed, and can therefore work in the vacuum of space. In fact, rockets work more efficiently in space than in an atmosphere, because the air holds it back; it is a resistance to the push.
        Rockets date back to at least 13th century China. Significant scientific, interplanetary and industrial use did not occur until the 20th century, when rocketry was the enabling technology for the Space Age, including setting foot on the Earth’s moon. Rockets are now used for fireworks, weaponry, ejection seats, launch vehicles for artificial satellites, human spaceflight, and space exploration.
        Chemical rockets are the most common type of high power rocket, typically creating a high speed exhaust by the combustion of fuel with an oxidizer. Our oxidizer is combined with the fuel, and only needs heat to start the reaction.
        Here is a simplified diagram of a solid-fuel rocket.

1. A solid fuel-oxidizer mixture (propellant) is packed into the rocket, with a cylindrical hole in the middle.
2. An igniter combusts the surface of the propellant. Our igniter will be simply another match, lit.
3. The cylindrical hole in the propellant acts as a combustion chamber.
4. The hot exhaust is choked at the throat.
5. Exhaust exits the rocket.

        What you will need to build rockets are paper matches for the rocket body and propellant, as well as an igniter, and a small piece of aluminum foil about an inch and a half square for the housing and nozzle. Too big and it won’t fly, too small and it will explode, just like a big NASA rocket. Luckily, tiny rockets have tiny explosions.
        A sewing needle or pin is needed to use as a tool to construct the rocket’s combustion chamber and nozzle.
        And a small paper clip to build a gantry with. We will need a gantry before we build the rocket. To build the gantry, pull the outside out, and the inside up, as in the illustration.
        Now to build our rocket. It will consist of a paper matchstick and about an inch square piece of foil. You will have to experiment, as different brands of foil have different thicknesses. Unless you have extra heavy duty foil (which may not even work) you will probably have to double the foil to keep it from exploding. Like I said before, the explosion is tiny.
        First, cut or tear the foil to the right shape and size. Take a matchstick and lay the needle on it as in the illustration. The needle’s point should be resting on the match head, which is of course our propellant.
        Now tightly wrap the foil around the head end of the match and pin. If it isn’t tight, the housing will fly off, just like a big NASA rocket.
        Then gently slide the needle out, leaving your combustion chamber/nozzle for the hot gas to shoot out and propel your rocket across the room. Place it on your gantry, with the nozzle that you made with the pin on the bottom.
        Now, to launch your rocket, light a match and heat the top of the rocket, the aluminum with the match head underneath. It may take a few failures and destroyed rockets before your rockets fly, just like NASA and the Russians. You’ll probably learn a few things along the way, and your children certainly will, both from the failures and successes.
        Just like with Space-X, Boeing, or NASA, your failures may be spectacular, like when you have a miniature explosion. I’ve made a lot of these tiny rockets, and have never seen them cause any sort of damage, although if one hit you in the eye you would probably need medical attention. And of course make sure the children can’t get the matches!

Many years ago, when I didn't have much money, I bought an entry-level nVidia graphics card (I think made by ASUS). It was a 9400GT. The reason I bought it was that I wanted something that could run CUDA code and it was the very lowest spec. that would, and it has crunched many a SETI@Home work unit.

Today I upgraded one of my old Frankenstein machines to Slackware-current. It's an intel Core-2 Quad with 6GB of RAM and that old nVidia graphics card in it. I thought it was time that Turgid jr. installed an OS, so I got today's Slackware-current (64-bit) and burned it to DVD and guided him through the installation. It worked first time.

Now we are on Linux 5.4.31 and gcc 9.3.0. I've already had it find some bugs in some old code I had lying aroung. I must say that gcc becomes better and better at doing what a static analysis tool would have done in the past.

Anyway, to my point: I went to compile the nVidia proprietary driver for the old graphics card. It seems that gcc-9.3.0 finds too many problems with it. Never mind, because nVidia have a very new driver (December 2019) for my very old and cheap GeForce 9400GT which compiles and runs flawlessly.

Thanks, nVidia. I've been buying your cards since the first beta Linux driver in 1999 and they've always worked.

Feds Warn Alex Jones to Stop Hawking Coronavirus Scams
The FDA sent a letter to the infamous conspiracy theorist on Thursday saying he needed to stop pushing colloidal silver as a therapy for COVID-19

The Food and Drug Administration is demanding that conspiracy theorist Alex Jones stop advertising dubious dietary supplements as coronavirus treatments and threatening legal action if he doesn’t comply.

The FDA sent a letter to Jones and his website InfoWars on Thursday demanding that he stop telling the viewers of his popular internet broadcasts that they can ward off the virus with colloidal silver products sold on his website. Those videos, the FDA wrote, “misleadingly represent them as safe and/or effective for the treatment or prevention of COVID-19.”

A failure to remove those claims, the agency added, “may result in legal action seeking a Federal District Court injunction and an order may require that you pay back money to consumers.”

Jones, who is famous for fabricating conspiracy theories and marketing dubious health supplements, has been hawking supposed coronavirus-killing colloidal silver products in videos with titles like “Deep State Using Coronavirus Fear and Panic To Destroy Our Country.” In one video posted last month, he told viewers of his ”Nano Silver” supplements: “the Pentagon has come out and documented, and homeland security have said this stuff kills the whole SARS corona family, at point blank range.”

[ . . . . ] Despite Jones’ on-air claims to the contrary, language on InfoWars’ online marketplace explicitly states that its colloidal silver products are not designed to treat the virus. “The products on this site are not intended for use in the cure, treatment, prevention or mitigation of any disease, including the novel coronavirus,” the website warns. “Any suggestion to the contrary is false and is expressly disavowed.”

Jones and InfoWars were also targeted by authorities in New York last month over his claims about the products’ ability to ward off the coronavirus. The state’s attorney general sent InfoWars a cease and desist letter demanding it stop airing dubious claims about its products’ health benefits.

I seem to recall that Jim Bakker was similarly threatened, then arrested for similar claims about the same bogus cure. Unlike Alex Jokes, at least Bakker could say that spreading this kind of misinformation to his followers was the christian thing to do.

Another source: FDA warns Alex Jones over false coronavirus claims

{carry, result} <= operand1 + operand2 + carry;

The timing estimate says that the carry flag is a slow point in the design. Adding is really a serial operation, where the result from each pair of bits needs to propagate to the next. So it seems reasonable that the carry flag would take some time to arrive from the far end. But is the logic for this operation being synthesized in an optimal fashion? What if I change it to this?

{carry, result} <= ({operand1, 1'b1} + {operand2, carry}) >> 1;

Well look at that. Just dropped a few dozen LUTs and the carry flag isn't the slowest signal anymore. I guess it was adding twice. (Maybe the newer software is already smarter than this.)

70 Percent of Coronavirus Deaths in Louisiana Are African Americans, Despite Being 33 Percent of the Population

significant majority of coronavirus deaths in Louisiana were African Americans, although the demographic makes up only a third of the southern state's population.

Louisiana Governor John Bel Edwards, a Democrat, announced on Monday that more than 70 percent of the deaths from COVID-19, the disease caused by the coronavirus, were African Americans in his state. He said that this was "obviously" a "big disparity."

"Disturbingly, this information is going to show you that slightly more than 70 percent of the deaths in Louisiana are of African Americans," Edwards said during a press briefing. "So that deserves more attention and we're going to have to dig into that and see what we can do to slow that trend down," he added.

African Americans are estimated to make up just about 33 percent of the state's population, according to the most recent census data.

The Wall Street Journal analyzed data from New York City, reporting that neighborhoods in the Queens borough with the largest immigrant populations were the hardest hit by the coronavirus. The Charlotte Observer also reported that in Charlotte, North Carolina–which is just one-third black–about 44 percent of the confirmed coronavirus cases were African Americans.

Reporting by ProPublica showed that 80 percent of coronavirus deaths in Milwaukee, Wisconsin were African American, while the city is just 26 percent black. Similar stats have been observed in Illinois and Michigan.

https://www.newsweek.com/70-percent-coronavirus-deaths-louisiana-are-african-americans-despite-being-33-percent-1496570

The Radio Gawds had some comments on this, on my way home from work. They note that predominantly black neighborhoods aren't observing the social distancing thing. I really can't address that, my search skills aren't finding that sort of info.

Funny, when I searched for coronavirus demographics, this article is the only one that really addresses the question. Oh, there are pages and pages of hits, addressing age, but that's about it.

Makes me wonder if the claims are true or not, or whether it's just too early to start counting the bodies. Or, is it simply that nobody cares, including the black community?

In July 2018 I bought an Acer Swift 3 laptop with an AMD Ryzen 7 2700U CPU, with Vega 10 graphics. I've always avoided AMD GPUs after having bad experiences with them on Linux in the past, but I heard that the open source drivers were very good so I took a leap of faith.

When I bought the laptop, it was for taking on holiday, so that I'd be able to frob with code, and have fun on the plane. It came with Windows 10 so that needed removing and replacing with Slackware. I decided to be brave and install Slackware-current. The installation (from USB stick) was surprisingly easy. Alien Bob's mirror script worked a treat and I found some advice online about how to make a boot stick with elilo. I've used syslinux at work for doing CentOS kickstart scripts, so there wasn't much of a learning curve.

The kernel that came with Slackware-current wasn't new enough to support my lunatic fringe hardware (ie the AMD Vega GPU) so I went to www.kernel.org and got something suitable. The kernel source code nowadays is absolutely enormous and it took a month of Sundays going through all the configuration menus to get it set up. Eventually I got something working and I was able to get X going. On the trans-Atlantic flight I emptied the battery recompiling the kernel.

There have been problems with the 4.x kernels. Anything that touched the GPU caused lock-ups, and the only way to get the machine back was by holding down the power button for 5 seconds. There were intermittent lock-ups on boot when switching from the UEFI frame buffer driver to the amdgpu/drm ones (and all sorts of Oopses and stack traces at other times). I experimented with a few versions of the kernel and some were more reliable than others. I had a few to choose from in my elilo.conf menu. There were problems in user-land when playing videos in a web browser with some kernels: random lock-ups. Again, a cold boot was required. (I tried logging in over the network with ssh but no banana).

Anyway, it's been great for compiling code with make -j 8.

I've occasionally googled to see if the problems have been fixed. Initially, there were hardly any reports of problems (the hardware being so new) but over the months, the forums filled up with all sorts of bug reports. Recently, the advice became to upgrade to a 5.x kernel.

Last weekend I decided to reinstall the machine with the very latest Slackware-current to get a 5. kernel and all the other latest goodness. Having backed up everything to my external hard disk and using Alien Bob's mirror script to get the latest Slackware-current, it all went swimmingly.

The first thing to note was that there were no gratuitous Oopses and stack traces, and the kernel loaded and switched to amdgpu/drm with no fuss. I got straight into X with WindowMaker.

The first uncomfortable surprise was that someone has decided to use new, posh fonts in Xterm. My display is 1920 pixels across and when writing code I like to be able to have three Xterms side-by-side. With these new fonts, even on "Tiny," that was not possible. The solution was to replace /etc/X11/app-defaults/XTerm with the one from Slackware 14.2.

Since SETI@Home has all but finished, and since COVID-19 came along, I decided to join up from some other grid computing projects, including ones targeted at COVID-19, but I also joined up to Einstein@Home.

Einstein@Home went to use the GPU and promptly locked up the system.

Today I've been googling the issue again, and I found two interesting pieces of advice. One is regarding CPU power management and the other is regarding virtualisation.

The first piece of advice was to append "processor.max_cstate=5" to the kernel command line to prevent it from going into the lowest power mode. No banana.

The second was to disable the AMD secure VM option in the UEFI BIOS. Banana! So far it has been up for nearly an hour and a quarter with Einstein@Home using the GPU and myself typing this.

A few weeks ago I insisted on buying Mrs Turgid a new laptop. Mrs Turgid hates computers (actually she hates Microsoft software) but her old laptop was bought in 2011and runs Windows 7. It's a dual core 64-bit AMD @1.6GHz, but it still works. It's screen is quite low-res and Windows 7 is now unsupported, so I insisted on buying something new, since she was planning on doing some extra work from home again this spring (marking exams). There won't be any exams to mark now, but she is working from home due to the lockdown...

I bought an ASUS X512D running Windows 10 which has a pretty similar spec to my Acer. It has 8GB RAM and a 256GB SSD. The CPU is a Ryzen 5, though, with a Vega 8. I put SETI@Home on it and it reckons the new Ryzen 5 is a little bit faster than my old Ryzen 7. Also, the build quality is a bit better. The case is more solid and the keyboard a bit better (but it's still a laptop, so it's not brilliant). The screen is nice too. It's also 1920x1080. I ponied up for some commercial anti-malware software too. I haven't got time to waste on Windows so I'll just go with the flow.

She's very happy with the new laptop, and pleased we bought it now because of the lockdown.

Update: The banana went away after two hours. I had a browser, Einstein@Home and 16 instances of glxgears running.

RETIRED HUSBAND
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local WalMart:
Dear Mrs. Harris:
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look' using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed;
'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?
And last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
If you don't send this to your dearest friends; You will be depriving them of some good humor.

Lifted boldly from a crazy retired woman's Facefook page.