It's raining today. The sky is a featureless grey. The greenery that was so vivid yesterday in the sun is now muted. And I feel lonely. Again. I don't know why. I don't really have any reason to be. Maybe it's just the rain.
I woke up this morning to the sound of rain hitting the window, which I love. I put on Paw Patrol for my daughter and gave her a few dates to munch on. I sat with her for a while cuddling and asking her about the characters. After I got ready for work, my daughter and wife both give me a hug and a kiss to send me on my way.
The coffee shop I normally stop at to get my daily cappuccino -- a normally bustling place -- was much quieter than normal. Normally I enjoy the time it takes for them to make my coffee. I'll take a seat on one of the long benches and watch the other people getting their coffee. I go enough that most of the employees know me by name and will frequently chat me up. They always make me feel welcome. Today the place was nearly empty. I quickly got my coffee and left.
A new project manager started just over a month ago. She's beautiful. Totally my type, with short dyed red hair. Her short hair shows off her neck which drives me crazy. I have a major crush on her. Even though she has only been here for a month or so, we have had a lot of time to chat together. Maybe 1/2 the time we have lunch together. Just the two of us in the lunchroom. I want to touch her; to be touched by her. I keep debating about asking her out for a beer after work one day. I think she likes me too, but mixing dating and work can be risky.
Earlier this week (Tuesday maybe?), I had such a great day. It was hot and sunny. I felt important because I was fixing some important problem. There was some new girl that worked on the business side of things that I had never seen before that was acting super awkward when I was helping her with a problem. I think she liked me and it felt good. One of the other ladies kept flirting with me and touching my arm. On my drive home, I was merging and there was a cutie in the back seat of the car beside me and we locked eyes. She kept looking over at me with a knowing smile. I felt like a million bucks that day.
But today I feel like I'm missing something. I feel like a drug addict that needs a hit, but my drug is validation.
Maybe it's just the rain.
See this screen grab from the Hacker News site.
If you can't read it, it is page 3, containing two adjacent news items:
Coincidence that these items are adjacent?
Or some evil alien conspiracy?
No comments, please, out of respect for the dead. I miss MDC, and frojack, and all the other Soylentils no longer with us. Just let the entire BuckFeta experiment submerge beneath the waves of alt-right internet auto-asphyxiation. We mourn what might have been, and hope still for a future where incels can learn to meet women, where programmers can actually get living wage jobs, and where it is OK to be white, because that is the way it has always been, you firkening racist asshole.
aristarchus is dying. Khallow wanted him to flame out, but that is not the way it is going down. He has overstepped, become shrill, annoying, and the alt-right has taken advantage of that, by making it rain before Trump's most recent rally. Nothing angrier than a wet Trump supporter but a wet hen, and they have comparable intelligence.
STEM is a SCAM, a Socially Corrupt Attempt to Manipulate. We need people here who understand how tech is used, paraded before Vulture capitalists, and works against humanity. We need to take a stand on political matters, a technically informed stance, lest we be Damored by ignorant techies.
And, finally, this journal entry makes no sense. I could regale you with the saga of hundred more rejected submissions, unfair and unjust down-modding, and erroneous accusations of sock-puppetry, but I will not. Perhaps you should look for what Friedrich Nietzsche called "the philosophers of the Future", the ones who will come, not with a hammer or a gallon of gasoline, but with a tuning fork, to test the idols of the present, and to see which ring hollow. (hrumpgh, Peterson, Milo, Gavin, jmorris) And then the revaluation of values can begin.
***************Quote Nietzsche:
Eine neue Gattung von Philosophen kommt herauf: ich wage es, sie auf einen nicht ungefährlichen Namen zu taufen. So wie ich sie errathe, so wie sie sich errathen lassen - denn es gehört zu ihrer Art, irgend worin Räthsel bleiben zu wollen -, möchten diese Philosophen der Zukunft ein Recht, vielleicht auch ein Unrecht darauf haben, als Versucher bezeichnet zu werden. Dieser Name selbst ist zuletzt nur ein Versuch, und, wenn man will, eine Versuchung.
****
aristarchus is nearer to dead. A third spam mod, to one of the original members of the Buckfeta movement! Oh, the huge Manatee! And in an aristarchus submission, where I was just providing context and explanation! Oh, my vision is getting dark. My karma is the lowest my dogma has ever allowed it to be. I haven't felt like this since the early days, when someone modded me to oblivion for saying things they did not like, and Runaway1956 came to my aid. . . wait a minute! He was there? Already! Oh, dear.
Anyway, I have slung threats and hurled insults and made ultimatums, so now I await the judgement of Soylentils. Is this site worth saving? Or do we need to kick khallow out?
Somebody, somewhere, decided that old customer accounts should be archived. They put together a spreadsheet with thousands of accounts and send this to various business groups asking them to check the list and let them know if any of these accounts should not be archived.
This was 3 months ago.
Apparantly no one actually reviewed the list, because a bunch of active customers' accounts were closed/archived. These accounts closured feed down into my systems and cut off the customers from logging in and purchasing things. Customers start calling in and complaining that nothing is working.
This is a BUSINESS PROBLEM. They fucked up the list. Why do /I/ have to chase down all these random people and make them check the list that they should have checked 3 fucking months ago.
I'll have to pull a rabbit out of my ass and fix the back end stuff -- and that's fine, it's my job -- but it pisses me off that I have to hound the business people to do /their/ job and provide me an accurate list of accounts that need to be fixed.
/rant
When I was young, it was uphill both ways, and in plain ASCII, no GUI.
You had to memorize a stack of manuals -- that couldn't be removed from the computer room because they were bolted (literally) to the table. Young people learned to type properly, otherwise you would have to DUP the card you were punching up to the column where you made the mistake. There was no backspace -- the hole is punched into the card and can't be un-punched. And stand up straight. Pay attention. Don't drop your deck of cards on the floor -- that's a real mess to sort out.
Every year around this time, my wife, her sister, and her mom go on a little vacation to BC. They take my daughter so it's one of the only times per year where I have the house to myself.
It's been a while since Jasmine broke up with me, so I thought id see if I could like up a first date. I enabled my Tinder and my Bumble and my Coffee Meets Bagel to see what was out there.
I got 3 likes according to Tinder, but ended up not matching with anyone. Bumble gave me about 10 likes but no one I was interested in. And CMB gave me 2 likes, one which seemed OK.
I didn't feel particularly motivated/desperate, so I've deactivated my profiles again. Maybe I'll try again later in the summer or in the fall. Too much going on in the summer.
My wife and daughter have been away since Thursday and they come back today. I miss them so much and I can't wait to see them tonight. It's nice to have a house that is quiet and doesn't spontaneously generate messes, but it's too lonely without them around. I miss the pitter-patter of my daughter running through the house and her little hugs.
They will arrive early enough for a late dinner, so I'm on dinner duty tonight. When they were away, I ate: Pizza, Eggs Bennie, Pizza, a Korean burger with fries and leftover Pizza (with some chips and ice cream mixed in). If my wife didn't make me good food, I'd probably have already had a heart attack...
Last Thursday I saw Jasmine again. We met up for dinner and a beer. It was really nice to see her. I missed her a lot. It was nice to get an update on her life. She is doing well and things seem to be going well with the person that she is dating. I hope things work out well for her.
In work-related news, there was a major project that I would have played a key role in that has been cancelled. So now I basically don't have anything to do at work. I think my job is still pretty safe, but I need something to do. I'm tempted to write a book to fill the time.
I've been tossing around the idea of writing a book about my opening of my marriage. There aren't many books on the subject and I know that when I was going through the initial stages, I loved reading about other people's experiences and struggles opening up. I have all my previous journal entries documenting everything which would make the book much easier.
I don't know if the book would be any good though. I never had any struggles between my wife and I during my dating -- most of the struggles I had were with myself. My wife hasn't dated, so the book would be completely one sided...
That being said, I think I do have a story arc. Talk of opening up --> opening up --> struggles dating --> meeting and dating Jasmine --> getting dumped but feeling better about myself.
So, for those that have been following my story, is it interesting enough to be a book? If you were considering opening your relationship, would having my story help at all?
Giving in to their intense natural attraction, the electrons and the e-holes venture further and further towards each other from opposite sides of the P-N junction. Into the the semiconductor's forbidden zone of depletion they wander. Ignoring all inhibition to stop, their growing excitement causes the depletion zone to become smaller and smaller. Finally the depletion zone becomes so small it disappears. They are suddenly surprised and shocked by a climactic explosive rush of current. It can only be described as electric. The LED lights up brightly as current flows freely. The LED continues to glow brightly until the forward current blissfully subsides and the forward voltage drops below the threshold. The electrons stop flowing and go to sleep. The depletion zone once again grows in the P-N junction keeping them separated.
Are you a creative genius that has more dollars than sense? Well, you are in luck! Say hello to the iStand:
https://www.cnet.com/news/1000-apple-mac-pro-display-stand-sparks-angst-the-ultimate-middle-finger/
The stand will hold your new monitor perfectly elegantly and is simply amazing. Invite your friends over to show off you new monitor stand while you drone on and on about how Apple is superior to everything else.