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Yooman rights? Yooman rights! I don't need no yooman rights! I ain't foreign and I ain't done nuffink wrong.

Michael "Teachers are the Enemies of Promise" Gove is going to give us a nice British Bill of Rights instead. They did promise to stop their supporters voting for Nigel and the bigots. Nigel didn't resign after all.

And Gove is going to be working with Theresa May, who will be pushing through the Snoopers Charter.

And the kickings are about to begin.

Here in Blighty, we're having a General Election on Thursday 7th May.

This time around, the Official Monster Raving Loony Party has conceded that it will probably lose votes to UKIP.

Oh dear.

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Last night was amazing.

You know those moments where you really connect with someone else? When you see them in a new light and everything is great? My wife and I had one of those moments last night.

It was a beautiful evening that felt like summer. My wife had the day off, and had picked up some burgers, beer, and wine for dinner. We started talking about our life, the future, poly, and kids. It was a truly happy moment for me. We imagine a future where my wife can go traveling with someone who likes traveling more than me while I stay home looking after the kids. We talk about opening our own business (a recurring dream we have had for years and years). I told her that I feel like my life is just starting.

Our one year wedding anniversary is coming up pretty soon. We talked about how our relationship was before we got married versus after, and it seems like we were different people then. Much more immature. Much worse communication. Less connection. It's amazing what can change in a year.

My other relationship is progressing very well too. We saw each other again last weekend, and had a great time again. I'm seeing her again on Thursday (for our 4th date). There is a definitely a spark there, and I feel that there is a very good chance that we will have sex that night - my first new sexual partner in over 12 years.

I am happy and loving life. It's been a long time since I've felt this happy.

-- Snow

So...

Shortly after my last entry, I met a girl on Tinder. We met for drinks and and ended up chatting for a few hours. She is also poly and has a couple other partners. She's very smart and opinionated. We had a great time and arranged to meet again.

Last night, we met again for dinner at a fancy restaurant. She showed up in a super sexy dress and I couldn't take my eyes off her. We had another great time and are planning on seeing each other again this weekend. I can't wait!

Admittedly, it was pretty weird to be all fired up from a great date and then coming home to my wife. We cuddled in bed like we always do, but my mind was racing thinking about my date. It kinda felt wrong. My wife there with her head rested on my chest while I think about my date with the other girl.

I don't know what else to say, as things are still really new. New Relationship Energy (NRE) is intoxifying. Its something I haven't felt for over a decade, and I'm really excited by it! More updates to come. Hopefully good ones!

-- Snow

It's been roughly 3 months since my last entry, so I figured it's time for another update...

My wife and I have spent a lot of time over the last few months reading everything about non-monogamy that we could get our hands on. It's been pretty great actually because prior to that, we hadn't really read the same books before. I had earlier done a review of 'Opening Up', and that book really only scratched the surface of the whole poly thing. I have since read 'More Than Two', 'The Polyamorists Next Door' (which focuses more on poly with kids), and have recently started 'The Ethical Slut'.

These books go into much more detail on the actual workings of a poly relationship. Things like time management, being poly with kids, and dealing with stigma. It's been great to read the books, and then discuss them with my wife to see where we stand.

While both my wife and I have been addicted to learning all about poly, we still have no practical experience. It's all just theory at this point in time. We really just want something to happen.

I've been continuing my online search for women, with abysmal results. I've been trying to improve my look, with some success, but its had a negligible difference as far as the dating scene is concerned. It's honestly been very, very depressing for me, as mentioned in my previous journal entry. I've spent many, many hours viewing profiles and trying to think of good messages to send. 80% of them don't even respond, and 19% do respond but it doesn't go anywhere. I acknowledge that I am looking for a very, very specific person and so the odds are already stacked against me, but it's really hard not to take it personally.

Some days are worse than others (of course) and on the bad days when I'm moping around the house, my wife has been amazingly supportive and tries to pick me up. Without her, I would be dangerously depressed. I could go into a rant about online dating and the imbalance of power between the sexes, but I'll save that for another day.

I'm really all about equality in a relationship, and as such, my wife has the exact same liberties that I do. I would never have one set of rules for me, and another set of rules for her - she is also free to pursue extra relationships, and it's something that I would like to see her do. Thankfully for my sanity, she is not interested in pursuing on her own right now. She wants to see how things go with me first. If she was actively looking, I think it would pretty hard to see men lined up around the block while I get nothing but crickets. As I read more about polyamory, I realize that this is a pretty common problem for men.

In other news, my wife has had her IUD taken out and we have been doing natural birth control planning for the last couple months. Talking about a Baby or Poly has basically been the focus of our life for the last year. Lots, and lots of talk and theory, but nothing real yet, which is frustrating us both. We are both just really anxious for something to happen, and when it does, I'll post it here.

-- Snow

A day that will live in e-fame-y.

Irritable Duncan "Trust-me-I-know-what-I'm doing" Syndrome reckons that, when he and the rest of the Conservative Party are re-elected in this May's General Election, he'll make £12 billion (US$17.8 billion) of welfare cuts but he won't tell us before the election what these cuts will be, Allegedly, it's "Not relevant."

There aren't that many poor, sick, disabled and needy left un-kicked, but it's highly amusing that thousands of people in one of the world's most highly-developed countries are having to resort to food banks.

Goodness only knows how much worse it will get if the loony right UKIP get some seats. Anyone but an imbecile can see that they'd vote with the Conservatives on many issues or even form a coalition.

So hurry up and vote Tory to keep the hopeless, sneering socialists down.

God save the Queen etc.

So, the other day, my Wife and I were driving on the highway. She turns to me, and says, "I think I want to be involved. We should create a couples profile, and see if we can find a girl for a Triad". (A Triad is, basically, a serious three-way relationship where ideally everyone loves each other.)
"Great!", I say, and we drive on in silence as I try to process this.

Now I don't know how many of you are familiar with online dating, but it really sucks to be a guy on an online dating site (unless you are really, really hot). For a guy, it's mostly looking at pictures of women (some attractive, most not), then reading their profile, and sending a message that is hopefully good and original. It takes a lot of work, and a lot of time. The vast majority of your messages will be unanswered. It's tough not to feel like the mud on their boots that they try to scrape off, but there are entire forums related to this subject. Now, I'm not a terrible looking guy, but I am married and open about that, so that deters a lot of women.
My wife knows that the online dating scene hasn't been the easiest thing for me, and so her suggestion to make a couple's profile was her way of helping. My wife is pretty damn good looking, with beautiful reddish hair. Finding a women with her as part of the package might make things easier.

Now for me, a Triad is really my ideal end game. The thought of having a wife and a girlfriend that not only get along, but actually love each other would be amazing! My mind was racing for much of the day, trying to sort everything out.

This brings us to Unicorns. So, what is a Unicorn? Well, a Unicorn is a creature that is exceedingly rare with mythical qualities. So basically: a single (or at least available) woman, who is bisexual, attractive, open to being a "secondary" in an existing relationship, intellectually stimulating (for me), and spiritual (for my Wife). That Unicorn seems like a pretty amazing person...

Often couples looking for Unicorns unilaterally set rules that will apply to the Unicorn. Things like only sleeping with the Unicorn together, rules around being seen in public, loving them equally (as if that is even possible), etc. Now, we aren't really heavy on the rules (practice safer sex, basically), but many couples do have these rules, so Unicorn Hunters generally have a bad rap.

So, at the end of the day, we sit down on the couch and have a deeper conversation about things. I ask her why she wants to be involved now, when she didn't before. What changed her mind? I've been complaining about how crappy internet dating is, so I'm worried that she is only agreeing to this to try and help me out.

I make her read a really good article on Unicorn Hunting to make sure that we are on the same page. I don't want to set a lot of rules to restrict the relationship. The Unicorn is a person too, and they deserve to be treated fairly. If we do this, we are going to do this right.

We have a lot going on in our life right now. She has an appointment next Monday to have her UID taken out because we are going to try to have a baby (I'm terrified about that...). My Mom has been battling with booze for years and my sister thinks that things are getting worse, so she wants to stage an intervention type thing. I had to tell my sister that while I support her confronting our Mom about the drinking, I have a full plate and I can't guarantee much help on that front from me. I told my sister about my Wife and mine's relationship and how we were trying an open/polyamorous style of relationship. I trust my sister a lot, and I was really worried about coming out to her about this, but she really took it well. She didn't seem that surprised, mostly curious. She said that my wife and I have such a good relationship, that she could see how this could work. That was a really pleasant surprise. I've been really worried about opening up to my family... I'm sure that there are still mines to navigate there though. I have a big family, and some of them are really Catholic.

Anyways, so back to Unicorn Hunting... I didn't want my wife to be involved because she pitied me and my failures at online dating. I made her read the Unicorn Hunting Article. She reads the article, looks up at me, and says "I'm relieved".
"Why is that?", I say. It turns out that she did suggest becoming involved not for herself, but for me. Her #1 priority in life right now is a baby. She doesn't feel that she has the time or motivation to be involved with another person right now. I suspected as much, so while a little disappointed, I was happy that we could get to the bottom of things, and that we were doing things for the right reasons.

So, it's back to me being solo. I'm cool with that. At this point, I want to prove to myself that I can get a girl on my own. Everything in life that is worth a damn requires effort.

Well, back to the world of dating...

****

P.S. I'm sure some of you are thinking "Open Relationship + Baby = Not good (that poor baby)". Here's the thing... I'd wait another 5 years to have a baby if I had the choice, but I don't. My wife is 32.5 years old, so we are running out of time to have babies. Having kids is important to us, so biologically speaking, now is the time to have kids.

My wife an I both come from divorced parents, so we know all about a kid living with a broken family, and that is not something we want for our kids. My wife and I are both fully committed to each other and our relationship. Even though we have decided to take an unconventional path, I believe that our relationship is still much more stable than the average. Maybe both of us having parents that ended up cheating and breaking up the family gives us different perspectives and opinions. Remove the desire to cheat, improve communication, and maybe we can have a happy marriage while being free to explore ourselves as well. It won't be all smiles and rainbows, but neither of us are expecting that.

****

P.P.S. I'm curious to hear feedback on my journal entries. Do people enjoy them? Should I continue? Is this the right location for them? I realize that this is a tech site, but it's where I feel comfortable. Plus, there is a link for here for a journal, so I just start typing. There are a lot of people here that are married, and I'm sure there are some that may relate to my journals. Maybe it's helpful in some bizarre way. For me, I just like putting it out there. I like collecting my thoughts and writing it down. I also think that it might be neat to look back on years from know. Let me know what you think.

If you like my journal entries, add me to your Soylent Friends list. You will get a message when I make a new entry. Thanks for reading!

-- Snow

EDIT: Here is the article on Unicorn Hunting. It's a really great read:
http://davidlnoble.livejournal.com/176039.html

So, that girl from the previous entries and I had a second date yesterday.

I picked her up and took her out to the mountains for a short hike to a canyon that has frozen waterfalls, and then we had lunch at a place that makes flatbread pizzas.

I think she was still pretty nervous, because I had to make most of the conversation for the first 1/2 of the day. After a while she started opening up and talking a lot more. She seems like a really nice person, but I don't think that we are very compatible.

At the end of the date, I took a peck on the lips, and left. I felt pretty used after the date. I thought that I had arranged for a pretty damn good date, I paid for everything, and not even a thank you. I'm not upset that I didn't get any action (quite the opposite... there was no chemistry, so it would have felt weird...), but just a simple thank you would have been very nice. I'm not even upset about paying for everything (I probably make double what she does), it's just that it felt like it was taken for granted... Maybe that is what I'm going to have to get used to.

I was really hoping that it would work out because just getting a first date was a terrible process filled with rejection.

Anyways, back to square one.