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So, I've been seeing this girl for about 3 months now. I don't really know if she qualifies as a 'girlfriend' or not. Probably not, but it's close.

Anyways, I've been seeing this girl for about 3 months now. We usually are able to get together every week or two, so I've seen her around 10 times. Before Christmas, I went over to her house and met her boyfriend (primary). I was pretty nervous to meet her boyfiend. You can never be sure that partners are fully on board, or not, until you actually meet them. There was a slight chance that I would get my ass kicked (I'm more of a flighter than a fighter), so I was pretty nervous to meet him. Anyways, he turned out to be a really cool guy that I liked a lot.

Last night was my turn to introduce her to my wife. She was nervous. I was nervous. We spent the evening together while my wife was at work, and they met as my wife got home from work.

It was a little awkward. My wife was tired from a day at work. My girlfriend was nervous to meet my wife. I was nervous for both of them. I didn't know what to do while they met. I didn't know if I should touch one (or both) of them or not. I ended up kind of standing between them in an awkward triangle in the kitchen of my house. Small talk ensued.

Yes, it was awkward, but it went well. As well as a meeting like that could go, I suppose. We chatted for about 10 minutes, then I saw her out.

Everything is still going well between my wife and I. She is still not pregnant yet, despite ~8 months of trying or so. I've looked at the stats, and 80% of fertile couples conceive within one year, so there is nothing to worry about yet, but it's hard not to go down that thought path. We will continue trying. It took my mom almost 3 years to get pregnant with me, so...

I'm also thinking of trying to line up more dates again. It's been really, really nice not getting depressed over dating (poly dating as a male is super, super depressing), but I think I might take another try anyways. I really like the girl I have been seeing the last few months, but we aren't able to see each other as much as I would ideally like (because of work or other obligations), so I'm tossing around that idea.

I'm not really sure what the protocol would be for that though... I already talked to my wife about possibly trying to line up another date with someone else, but should I have the same conversation with the new girl that I have been seeing? It's only been 3 months, so I'm not really sure... I think it's a courtesy to check in with your partners before looking for another, but, I mean, we've only had ~10 dates, so... I'm kinda leaning towards just looking and if I manage to find anything to let her know, but I'm not sure...

Anyways, after a year and a half, things are still progressing well. I haven't screwed everything up yet!

When I was asked to make this address I wondered what I had to say to you boys who are graduating. And I think I have one thing to say. If you wish to be useful, never take a course that will silence you. Refuse to learn anything that implies collusion, whether it be a clerkship or a curacy, a legal fee or a post in a university. Retain the power of speech no matter what other power you may lose. If you can take this course, and in so far as you take it, you will bless this country. In so far as you depart from this course, you become dampers, mutes, and hooded executioners.

As a practical matter, a mere failure to speak out upon occassions where no statement is asked or expect from you, and when the utterance of an uncalled for suspicion is odious, will often hold you to a concurrence in palpable iniquity. Try to raise a voice that will be heard from here to Albany and watch what comes forward to shut off the sound. It is not a German sergeant, nor a Russian officer of the precinct. It is a note from a friend of your father's, offering you a place at his office. This is your warning from the secret police. Why, if you any of young gentleman have a mind to make himself heard a mile off, you must make a bonfire of your reputations, and a close enemy of most men who would wish you well.

I have seen ten years of young men who rush out into the world with their messages, and when they find how deaf the world is, they think they must save their strength and wait. They believe that after a while they will be able to get up on some little eminence from which they can make themselves heard. "In a few years," reasons one of them, "I shall have gained a standing, and then I shall use my powers for good." Next year comes and with it a strange discovery. The man has lost his horizon of thought, his ambition has evaporated; he has nothing to say. I give you this one rule of conduct. Do what you will, but speak out always. Be shunned, be hated, be ridiculed, be scared, be in doubt, but don't be gagged. The time of trial is always. Now is the appointed time.

John J. Chapman
Commencement Address to the Graduating Class of Hobart College, 1900

I hear what many of you posted regarding my reputation. But I made the decision to burn my reputation in the Spring of 1997, in response to the Heaven's Gate UFO Cult Mass Suicide. I've been publishing openly about my mental illness ever since then, in hopes of pointing out to others that reality is not as concrete as it may seem.

If my present consultancy doesn't work out, maybe I'll start a donut shop. No one would care that I'm a wingnut provided the donuts tasted good.

I have lots of other ideas.

I'm not saying you're wrong, rather, that to wreck my reputation was my conscious, carefully-considered choice.

Just before I posted my first web page about my illness, I carried a hardcopy around with me, to ask friends, family and my mental health professionals whether I should really publish it. All but one encouraged me to do so. That one who said I should not, had been stigmatized due to her own disability. I chose to publish in part to erase the stigma against people like her.

Finally, a worthy successor. We waited a long time for a follow-up. To be accurate: We waited 28 years to see a sequel of this great movie. Thinly disguised as a serious successor of the Star Wars epic, this hilarious parody of the old classics has great entertainment value. The scrap-collector, Ray, with a mimic range of Harry Potter in the first movie¹: I counted approximately 3 or 4 different facial expressions, and nearly half of the time the expression fitted to the scene. A Darth-Vader wannebe who was nearly as intimidating as Lord Dark Helmet in the first parody, spaceballs. And as a climax to the death-star from episode 4 and the even bigger death star in episode 6: Now an even biggerer death star!!!11!1! That they again had to fly through thin channels to fire the terminal bomb was not that original, but at least they kept the scene short and didn't humiliate themselves by attempting to compete with the original version.

The only let-down was the missing singing and dancing. Being a Disney-film, I'd have expected at least one scene where the storm-troopers dance their emotions and express themselves in musical ways.

<1> This verdict is about Daniel Radcliffes performance in "The Philosophers Stone"; he imo got much better later on.

Some express dismay that I'm living in a tent under a highway overpass. Actually I feel like I've got it pretty good.

I have my music, see.

When I left Caltech in January 1985 I was determined to work as a street artist on Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley. I'm not real sure what happened - my memories of the time are confused - but I wound up at UC Santa Cruz where I ultimately completed my physics degree.

I've been working as a coder since 1987. Since 2004 I've thought I should be a musician. Not just as a hobby but as a way of life.

I was really beating myself up for not singing on the street as often as I could have. But I've been a busker for just three months. Actually I'm making good progress.

Today is below freezing, it's too cold to sing. Not that I'm unwilling to brave the chill but that the cold air in my throat diminishes the capacity of my voice.

By the time Spring comes I will have more songs to sing, and will sing better. I'll earn plenty of tips then.

I'm good at coding, but coding does not make me happy.

Music makes me happy.

I'm not a railway enthusiast at all, but back in the olden days (1960s) there was a British Rail research project to develop a train that could travel at high speed on Birtain's 19th Century railway lines. The project became the Advanced Passenger Train.

The APT employed a tilting mechanism to allow it to go around curves up to 40% faster than conventional trains. It could achieve speeds of 160mph, when not held up by slower traffic. There were even gas turbine-powered prototypes, however in 1981 three electrical trains were built.

Unfortunately, the journalists invited to experience the first Glasgow to London run were plied with drink and reported that the tilting mechanism made them feel sick. Mechanical problems followed, and the trains were withdrawn from service.

They were reintroduced in 1984 but were withdrawn in 1986 for good.

The technology was adopted by other companies in France and Italy, and now Virgin Trains uses the tilting Italian/French Pendolinos on the West Coast Main Line.

Lemmy died on 28th December at the age of 70. The Guardian has some of his best quotes (with swears etc.)

In your twenties, you think you are immortal. In your thirties, you hope you are immortal. In your forties, you just pray it doesn’t hurt too much, and by the time you reach my age, you become convinced that, well, it could be just around the corner. Do I think about death a lot? It’s difficult not to when you’re 65, son.

The BBC and the Guardian both recently reported that Pope Francis has officially recognised Mother Theresa' second miracle, and that her canonisation is expected to take place in Rome in September.

The BBC article states , "The miracle involved the healing of a Brazilian man with several brain tumours in 2008, the Vatican said."

The Guardian article, however, goes into more detail about the controversial nun and discussed the incident of another alleged miracle, as documented by Christopher Hitchens. "A Bengali woman named Monica Besra claims that a beam of light emerged from a picture of Mother Teresa, which she happened to have in her home, and relieved her of a cancerous tumour. Her physician, Dr Ranjan Mustafi, says that she didn't have a cancerous tumour in the first place and that the tubercular cyst she did have was cured by a course of prescription medicine."

Mother Theresa, Nobel Peace Prize laureate, is said to have amassed vast wealth and enjoyed the best private health care money could buy, while the poor and sick in her missions in India endured illness without proper medication, pain relief and even had to use second-hand hypodermics, despite the huge sums of money donated to the "good cause."

All miracles are open to public scrutiny, so there should be no doubt!

Let us examine the evidence. Or not.

I've been experiencing depression, not a "Goodbye Cruel World" sort, more like feeling no ambition at all. I haven't been singing on the street as much as I could. There's a problem with being totally self-employed: if I don't show up to work I have no one to scold me.

I know very well that this is not like my normal self so I asked my psychiatrist for imipramine. It has worked well in the past. He prescribed 50 mg at bedtime for my first week, then 50 mg in the morning and at bedtime after that.

Tonight I will complete my first week of it. It's not having any effect yet.

If I sleep too much it makes me depressed if I'm depressed I sleep too much. Clearly I should sleep less but I just don't feel like getting out of bed.

"Get more exercise," commanded my psychiatrist back in the day.

"I don't feel like it."

"Do it anyway."

I had in mind to study up on kernel programming but instead it's all I can do to reload Facebook.

I'm getting more food stamps on the third. I'll buy some ice cream. Ice cream fixes everything.

At the time I wrote it I was very determined to go to music school to learn to compose symphonies. Some kuron advised me "So you want to compose, then compose". That is he felt I should not need a degree to write music.

This essay is very popular with composers, there have been three who offered to teach me but life was just a little too crazy to focus on it.

• I Have So Many Questions About Music

In other news, with the money my Aunt gave me for Christmas, I purchased a hardbound drawing book, two technical pencils, a technical pen, an eraser and a pencil case. I'm quite good at drawing when I'm in practice, but it has been a long time so I have some work to do.

Today I found a reasonably quiet place to make a very lo-fi recording of America the Beautiful with the built-in mic of my Acer Aspire E 15, with Audacity. I saved it as an Ogg. I don't know what quality number it is but really that doesn't matter.

Soylent Singing

It's easy to tell that my mic does not have flat frequency response, as certain notes resonate with the Acer's plastic case.

I'll make some far, far better recordings when I can rustle up the cash for a real mic. You can get good-quality mics with built-in USB for about $200, or I could get a better mic with an XLR connector then use a USB audio interface. Sadly my Acer has no way to attach firewire.

I once owned a Zoom H4 handheld audio recorder. It advertises itself as four-track however it is really two tracks, it just has the ability to record a second time, laying down the second pair of tracks along with the first pair. There is a somewhat improved model available now but I don't recall the price.

More important than finding a better mic is finding a quiet place to record.

I'm expecting to cash out a $7000 401k soon. I'd forgotten all about it until I was reminded of it by the Social Security Administration. I'm going to buy a van to live in, when I do I expect it would work to go way out in the woods to do the recordings.

I'm afraid I've been slacking at the guitar, however I've been picking up the piano again as there is an upright that I can play at a day center for the mentally ill in vancouver. All the shops are closing early tonight, so I'm expecting to spend some time on my guitar before I turn in.

For Christmas day, the Potluck in the Park people are holding a dinner from noon to 3:00 at the Portland Art Museum. I expect I'll go to that.