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Had another incredible day today. Would have been PERFECT if it wasn't so cold -- we'd love some of that good old Global Warming!

I proclaimed it Martin Luther King Day. Made it a Holiday for our fantastic Federal Workers. My way of thanking them for all they're doing for our Country. And VP Pence joined me for a little visit to the statue of Martin. Who was a big believer in our monuments, our statues. Big fan of Stone Mountain in Georgia, where they honor, so beautifully, the heroes of our Confederacy -- and their noble horses. President Jefferson Davis with his Generals Robert E. Lee & Stonewall Jackson. Who they were calling Stonewall before they carved him into the mountain there. They're thinking of carving Martin into that same mountain. Hopefully on a horse, the fine people from both sides riding together. Very classy, that will truely look majestic and we want him to look like a King.

I'll tell you, I felt like a King today. When we were at Martin's statue, VP Pence said something so beautiful and so smart. He said I'm doing exactly what Martin did. That "He inspired us to change through the legislative process to become a more perfect union." Thank you, Mike. I'm very honored. And it's so true. Martin was a fighter. And he would be fighting very hard for Border Security -- if he was still around (RIP!!). Because he loved Barriers. Because he loved our Country, and without a Border you don't have a Country!
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I'm looking at Abengoa SA, for example. They got almost $3 billion in guaranteed loans through this program to build infrastructure worth a fraction of that. I don't see that ending pretty, especially with their likely exposure (being the largest Spanish sustainable energy business) to the Spanish solar power industry, which completely lost its government subsidies over the past few years.

While I didn't discuss it at the time, I also was taking into account the company's behavior of what I'll call "chain-smoking loans", borrowing money to buy businesses that became collateral for another loan (for those old enough to remember that behavior burned World.com badly).

Well, turns out their US branch declared bankruptcy (Chapter 15) in January 2016 (though I gather it's now out of bankruptcy - at least for now). The Abengoa projects do appear to have survived with a functional revenue stream, so that implied part of the prediction apparently hasn't yet become a problem.

Nice to see a prediction bear fruit though of course, I probably wouldn't have noticed, if it hadn't. As an aside, neither Standard & Poor or the auditing firm Deloitte noticed anything supposedly until right before the insolvency protection filing (a common prelude to bankruptcy, though apparently Abengoa's main corporation in Spain was able to avoid bankruptcy through a 400 million Euro contribution from the Spanish government). The bank, Citigroup organized a stock sale a few months earlier despite their access to the books too.

A bunch of the usual suspects failing like they've failed before. Good to know that we're patching up all these financial failure modes.

I've written about Annie in a couple of previous journals (most recently here: https://soylentnews.org/~Snow/journal/3011 ). Annie works at the coffee shop a block from my house.

Annie recently cut back her hours because she has applied to the school board to become an art teacher. She should find out this week if she is accepted for the position. Obviously, I'm cheering for her.

I went to the coffee shop this weekend to get my morning coffee for my wife and I and Annie was there. I hadn't seen her in about a month, and she ran up to me and gave me a really big hug (as she always does). I really love getting hugs from her. She always gets real close and lets them linger for a bit. It's always a highlight of my day.

While I was waiting for another girl to make my coffee, she stood across the counter from me and asked how I was doing. She placed her hand on mine and I started caressing her fingers. We chatted for a couple minutes and then she had to get back to work. Before she left though, I said I missed seeing her and that we should hang out sometime soon. She said she was going to say the same thing.

I've got to give her credit. Reaching out and grabbing my hand took balls. She put herself out there for me. She was also the one who initiates all the hugs.

I texted her later in the day saying it was great to see her and that I missed her. I'd like to see her next week.

I've had a crush on her for several years now. She's a petite Asian girl. Very cute. Very into DOTA2. Very sweet.

I'm still seeing Jasmine once a week. It's going pretty well. Jasmine is a great girl and I enjoy my time with her. I feel that she is falling in love with me though. I like her, but I don't get that electric feeling with her. She sends me texts and says things that kinda hint that she is falling in love with me, and I just don't know what to say. I would like things to stay at an intimate friends level, but I feel like she wants something more. I don't think I can offer that.

It's also not fair to my wife if I'm going on multiple dates per week. I've been trying to keep it to one date night per week. That means that to see Annie, I need to give up my date night with Jasmine, which will probably disappoint her and make me feel guilty.

I really want to kiss Annie though and have wanted to for over a year. I don't want to let this chance slip by. I'm just not sure how to tell Jasmine that I won't be able to see her next week...

This is for the haters & loosers. The ones that have never been to Russia but are always saying, "oh, Russia, Russia, Russia." That want me to get impeached. Or they think if they just say mean things & tweet scarey pictures I'll quit -- Kathy Griffin should be ashamed of herself. Trust me, I'm not about to quit.

Today I'm starting my 3rd year. Important for VP Pence. And, for you. Because of Constitution.

"No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice, and no person who has held the office of President, or acted as President, for more than two years of a term to which some other person was elected President shall be elected to the office of the President more than once." The 22nd. Amendment.

VP Pence takes over today -- he's not going to, but if he did -- he gets, I think, 10 years minus a day. Up to. Because you get to elect him twice. He steps in tomorrow and it's 10 years minus 2 days. And maybe you're thinking, "oh, impeach him too." Not going to happen. The guy doesn't even have pictures of his wife. In case they give him impure thoughts. Enjoy!

I'm staring down at a child in India who is starving to death.
I could feed him, but do not.

I am called a monster by all.

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God is staring down at a child in India who is starving to death.
God could feed him, but does not.

God gets a pass with "God works in mysterious ways".

Why are we enabling God to be a monster?
I've heard ridiculous things like "It's God's way of teaching us in the west a lesson, or to be better people.

If there IS a God, why isn't he better than he is? He IS all-powerful, isn't he?

Getting so many messages thanking & congratulating me. And I want to say, you're welcome. Because -- in about half an hour -- it's 2 years since my glorious Inauguration. Since our swearing in. Me and VP Pence. I say swearing. But without cussing. I'm from New York, we don't do that. But, I've done so much. And it has been something very special. We’ve done things that nobody would have thought possible. And I say it often -- and I don’t get rebuked for saying it -- but no administration has done more in the first two years than the Trump administration.

When you think about the tax cuts and the regulation cuts, and all of the things that have happened, including two great, new Supreme Court justices. They're young guys, they're going to be in those seats for a very very long time. And hopefully we'll have a couple more seats opening very soon. And the Court of Appeals Judges, so important. People don't think about that one. But I've appointed more in the first two years than any President. Great article in the Amazon Washington Post. And we'd love to see more articles like that one. whitehouse.gov/briefings-statements/washington-post-little-fanfare-trump-mcconnell-reshape-nations-circuit-courts

It has been a very, very special, special time. And we’re doing so much. And we did the criminal justice reform. First Step Act. They’ve been trying to do it for many, many years. Couldn't do it. Then -- President Donald J. Trump. And it happened, very beautifully. And so many of our wonderful Felons getting the vote now. Getting a Franchise. In Florida, in many places. And so many getting out of our prisons earlier -- because of me and a lot of smart Congress people from both sides.

And if the Republicans and the Democrats get together, we are going to end up with incredible healthcare, which is the way it should have been from Day One. The Universal, my biggest promise. And it’s going to happen. It now has a chance to happen.

And the other thing I'd love to see them start working on very shortly is an Infrastructure Bill, because that’s something I think everybody wants to see. And a big part of the new, and very strong infrastructure needs to be on our Southern Border. The Wall, the Barrier, Fence -- call it whatever you want. Terrible situation down there. For the migrants and everybody else. So hopefully we’ll start working on that. People ask me, "what about the Wall, didn't you say you were going to build the wall?" I haven't forgotten that one, believe me. And by the way, new Poll. Saying my support w/Hispanics shot up 19%. To, it's now 50%. Don't we love Polls? I love the Polls when they're very positive.

So, thank you, everybody. And, you're welcome. Even the haters & losers. Can we say, have a great New Year? Why not. Great New Year! We’re going to have an incredible new year for our Country, most importantly. A very happy and healthy New Year. Because of me!! promiseskept.com

1975, they came out with SNL and it was the best thing on TV. First episode they had George Carlin (RIP!!) hosting it, he told it like it was. Great cast, the Not Ready For Prime-Time Players. Hilarious characters. Gilda Radner (RIP!!) as Roseanne Roseannadanna, so funny. Chevy Chase, Dan Akroid, Jon Belushi (RIP!!), Steve Martin, Jane Curtin with the news, Lorraine Newman -- true greats. Truely great.

Now look at it. Actually, don't bother. Like many, I don’t watch Saturday Night Live (even though I past hosted it) -- no longer funny, no talent or charm. It is just a political ad for the Dems. Tonight they have Rachel Brosnahan of the horrible Paris to Pittsburgh Fakeumentary. Pass!!

Not yet, anyway.

Whenever I go more than about twelve hours without hearing from her I become convinced someone slipped her Fentanyl.

I've been wanting to ask her to text me at least once a day, if only to let me know she's still alive, but figured it would be better to ask her in person.

I haven't seen her in ten days.

But she sent me a text this afternoon, said "I Miss You" and told me where she was; that particular street is chock full o' hookers.

I'm going to bring her some tasty and nutritious - even if sugary - food. For example, dark chocolate is quite rich in iron, as well as tryptophan and so likely would ease her anxiety. I've got a buttload of raisins for her. While their sugar will appeal to her, more important is that raisins are rich in iron as well.

Folks, it's been 10 days -- 10 lonely days, going on 11, and 11 lonely nights -- since I gave my Presidential Address on so many Networks (CBS, CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, NBC, ABC, PBS, Fox and many more). Very proud of the Ratings on that one. Monster ratings. Like I bring to every broadcast -- including the negative ones. So many Americans watched. And listened. But, Chuck & Nancy didn't listen. It's like they didn't listen. Because they're still obstructing. They shut down our Government and so many folks are suffering because of that. While the Criminals, Sacks of Drugs & Human Traffickers pore into our Country. And there's another Caravan coming. Mexico is doing NOTHING to stop the Caravan which is now fully formed and heading to the United States. We stopped the last two -- many are still in Mexico but can’t get through our Wall, but it takes a lot of Border Agents if there is no Wall (not easy at all).

The bad people keep trying to get through. So I'm going to try again to get through. This afternoon, 3pmE. If you know any Dems, tell them to tune in. Because I'm going to make a MAJOR announcement concerning the Humanitarian Crisis on our Southern Border, and the Shutdown. But, I'm not doing this one from the Oval Office. It's oval. It's an office. But, they don't call it Oval Office. They call it Diplomatic Reception Room. Very special because Zach Galifianakis did a show from there. For Comedy Central. Mine will be much bigger, Zach!!! youtu.be/2LMKwsayAZE

I have _never_ regarded my Bipolar-Type Schizoaffective Disorder as a disability for the specific reason that I chose coding for my career despite my degree being in Physics, as I was quite pleasantly surprised to find that I still write great code even when floridly paranoid or even suicidal.

Thus I persistently refused to apply for Kuro5hin's repeated calls for me to apply for SSDI - Social Security Disability Insurance - throughout my five years of homelessness, thereby redoubling their convictions that I really _was_ disabled.

That I missed two shrink's and a witch doctor's appointment so far this month led me to conclude that I will now - but _not_ due to any mental illness.

One's benefit is determined by one's last ten years' income before the onset of one's disability. For me, that's May of 2010 when I had my first seizure, dissociative fugue and short-term memory loss - WHILE I WAS DRIVING A CAR!!!!

Before 2010 I was making SCADS of money.

I am absolutely serious: as if God Almight Himself said "LET THERE BE MIKE!" the entire UNIVERSE sprung into existence with me not having a clue as to whose car I was driving, where I was going nor where I had come from. That I passed Mt. Shasta an hour later led me to recover my memory of having set out from my Mom's place in Vancouver, Washington late the previous afternoon and that I was headed home to South San Jose.

That enabled me to realized I had no memory of the previous sixteen hours. Eventually I recalled being pulled over for a busted taillight in Central Oregon, then very early that morning posting a K5 Diary - what you sorry lot call a "Journal" - at the Shari's Restaurant And Pies in Medford, in Southern Oregon.

I still have no memory of entering that restaurant, being seated, looking at the menu let alone ordering or eating my food. I hope to God I didn't Dine And Ditch but really I have no memory of paying either.

Once I got to south San Jose, Hilarity Ensued. I'll cover that later.

The Washington State Health Authority quite reasonably request I submit proof of income eligibility for my Medicaid in late October. About an hour ago I concluded that I am neurologically incapable of going my own books and so will request the Health Authority retain a bookkeeper to do my books for me - I hope she knows GnuCash!

I initiated an SSDI application in late November because my Broca's - or Expressive - Aphasia was persistent for the very first time; before that it always cleared up in four to eight hours.

But I withdrew my application when that Aphasia abated two weeks later.

My case manager Michelle Quesada is coming to haul me off to a food pantry in West Vancouver in a little bit. (I live in Central.) During our sojourn, I'll ask that she help my prepare my application.

That first step was to request an Application Interview, which I cancelled. Even so, the SSA sent me an application form. I'll ask Michelle to fill it out by asking me questions.

I am no longer able to fill that application out on my own.

And I Reiterate:

Kill Me.