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I shall walk to the corner store to buy some ice cream.

Should I survive, I shall post a reply bearing the good news.

On or around November 15, 2018 Bitcoin Cash will undergo its 3rd hard fork. There has been quite a bit of drama over this upcoming fork. On one side we have Bitcoin ABC, and the other we have BitcoinSV.

When Bitcoin Cash was forked from the original Bitcoin on August 1, 2017, it did so with the Bitcoin ABC code. When that happened, the Bitcoin ABC implementation became the de facto reference client. In my opinion, while Bitcoin ABC has done great work on progressing the Bitcoin protocol, their communication and community involvement leaves something to be desired.

Bitcoin ABC has proposed and implemented a few changes for the upcoming fork. The biggest and most controversial of these changes is something called Canonical Transaction Ordering (CTOR). In the current implementation, transactions can be included in a block in any order. If/When CTOR is accepted, then transactions will have to be ordered in a specific way.

CTOR offers some advantages with block propagation. There are a number of technologies (Compact Blocks, Thin Blocks, Graphene) that allow faster block propagation. Essentially, when a block is found, the block needs to be propagated to the rest of the network. As blocks get larger, the time to transmit the block also increases. In order to propagate blocks to the network in a timely fashion, Bloom Filters are used. Having a fixed order of transactions inside a block means that the order of transactions don't have to be transmitted to propagate a block. This results in a significant (>50%) reduction in data required to transmit a block.

On the other side, we have BitcoinSV. Craig Wright is BitcoinSV's Lead Scientist. He has been claiming for several years now that he is the real Satoshi. Gavin Andresen (one of the earliest Bitcoin coders) even agreed that Craig Wright was Satoshi. Craig started a company called nChain that has been working on their own implementation. They are closely affiliated with Coingeek who operates a mining operation/pool.

There have been criticisms of both sides. Criticisms of Bitcoin ABC's CTOR include that it's too big of a change too fast. Changes to consensus rules should happen very slowly and be tested very thoroughly. Impact on CPU usage is not fully understood at this time and if there are any bugs in the CTOR implementation that could result in an unintended chain split.

On the other side, we have BitconSV and Craig Wright. Craig is a character. He constantly makes outrageous claims and consistently fails to provide any proof to his claims. Any papers he produces contain mostly plagiarized content. His personality would definately fall into the 'asshole' category. BitcoinSV did not have any publicly released code until several weeks ago -- Way too late to be taken seriously IMO.

Craig has made claims that there will be no chain split. He has stated that his BitconSV implementation will win and he 'will prevent' a chain split from happening and will use his hash power offensively if required.

So here we are, two weeks away from the date the fork must occur, and no one really knows what will happen. We are about to witness the first true 'Nakamoto Consensus' hash war. It's going to be exciting to watch.

My predictions: Bitcoin ABC will easily win (will be clear winner in less than one hour). BitcoinSV was released way too late in the game to be taken seriously. They do not even have a testnet. How can we even know that it will work as advertised?

However, will the minority chain persist? There is intentionally no replay protection as part of this fork, so a transaction submitted to one chain will be valid on the other chain. People have stated that they will be replaying transactions from each chain to the other. There are still ways to force your coins to split however.

My prediction on persistance is that the minority chain will persist for quite some time (months-years), much like Bitcoin Gold persisted. It will have very little value, but it will have some value.

There's never a dull day in Bitconland.

DRAMA UPDATE!!!: Craig Wright says that he will blacklist any address that uses a new op code introduced by Bitcoin ABC. Very un-satoshilike.

But when it does, there's oxycodone.

From the Wikipedia article about spherical cows:-

Milk production at a dairy farm was low, so the farmer wrote to the local university, asking for help from academia. A multi-disciplinary team of professors was assembled, headed by a theoretical physicist, and two weeks of intensive on-site investigation took place. The scholars then returned to the university, notebooks crammed with data, where the task of writing the report was left to the team leader. Shortly thereafter the physicist returned to the farm, saying to the farmer, "I have the solution, but it works only in the case of spherical cows in a vacuum".

Since then, a spherical cow breeding program has been successful.

Spherical cows are often the stereo-typical black and white Holstein Friesian cow pattern but may also be the brown and white Jersey cow pattern or numerous other patterns including plain white, brown or black. Unfortunately, spherical cows in a single color are often mistaken for mutant hamsters and shot on sight. This contributes the Holstein Friesian pattern being predominant.

Although genetic throwbacks may exhibit hooves, ears, a tail or an undesirable ellipsoid profile, a pure-breed cow is completely spherical. They are often grown in proximity to cuboid watermelons; an innovation which makes more efficient use of space within a domestic refrigerator. A side effect of the spherical cow breeding program is that spherical cow milk has an unusually high surface tension. The milk often sits as droplets rather than a homogeneous liquid. This may be corrected with a very small quantity of surfactant. However, this additive often falls afoul of legislation regarding dairy products and therefore spherical cow milk may be restricted to illicit channels; similar to raw milk.

A perfectly spherical cow has no (identifiable) legs. Indeed, a perfectly spherical cow in an idealized meadow has no cross sectional area with the ground. Therefore, spherical cows are frictionless with the ground. In a valley, a spherical cow placed near the top will roll down the valley and up the other side. If the valley is in a vacuum then this process may continue indefinitely. If the valley has idealized wind resistance, spherical cows will typically be found in a local minima. Furthermore, a herd will be arranged in a manner approximating sphere packing. If idealized air is still, a spherical cow placed near the top of a valley or hill may be found in one of the surrounding dips. However, if wind is strong then an entire herd of spherical cows may be stuck against a fence. It is strongly recommended that any fence exceeds the radius of the largest spherical cow and can withstand the force of an entire herd during strong wind. Despite being domesticated, it is completely unknown how spherical cows eat or breed. The leading theory is that spherical cows are trans-dimensional beings but agricultural researchers are unsure how to test this hypothesis.

The easiest method to determine if a spherical cow is pregnant is via the increased radius of the cow. However, it is incredibly dangerous to be around a pregnant spherical cow. When a spherical calf is born, it may shoot out like a ping-pong ball. It may travel an incredible distance across countryside; 200m has been recorded. For this reason, spherical cow birthing sheds are strongly re-inforced and the interior is covered with damping material to reduce the total number of ricochets. A newborn spherical calf is approximately 1/2 of the radius (1/8 volume) of an adult. Spherical cows are most likely to be born during a full moon. This may be the basis of an unexplored joke.

A spherical calf grows to full radius over 18 months or so and it sufficiently mature to breed in its second year. In idealized conditions, breeding pairs of spherical cows may increase in a manner which strictly follows a Fibonacci sequence.

Spherical cow leather was the preferred material for equipment used in many types of sport. Most typically, it was used for sports balls due to its equal weight distribution and equal curvature. It was also the preferred material for chess-boxing gloves. Nowadays, sports are more likely to use synthetic materials; especially in upper leagues. Foreseeably, this has contributed to a decline in spherical cow herds.

Spherical cow steak is of unusually high quality. Spherical cows may have recessed legs and therefore edible parts of a spherical cow consist almost entirely of rib, back and belly. Approximately πr³/3 of any given cow is rib meat. However, to properly sear a spherical cow rib eye steak, a particularly large circular searing pan is required. Some advocates of paleolithic diets are particularly keen to promote the benefits of spherical cow steak. One of the disadvantages of intensive farming is that beef, pork, chicken, turkey and other meat is almost exclusively single sex. This may have long-term consequences for all humans. To avoid adverse effects of xeno-steroid hormones, it may be beneficial to eat historical proportions of male and female beef. Given the foreseeable difficulty of identifying male and female spherical cows, males are often allowed to grow to adulthood. However, the increased cost associated with spherical cow farming may have fringe health benefits.

Attempts have been made to cross-breed spherical cows and flying pigs. So far, this has been unsucessful. However, this may change as genetic engineering advances. Nevertheless, it has re-ignited a debate over collective nouns. It is generally accepted that the collective noun for pigs when flying is a flock. However, accepted use beyond this case is varied. In the case of flying cows, moderates suggest that the portmanteau, flerd, be used in all cases. Unfortunately, this reasonable proposal has been met with almost universal disdain from farmers. While diary farmers look forward to new varieties of stationery, dairy farmers are concerned that any re-classification of farming may adversely affect economic subsidies for agriculture. This may further contribute to the decline of spherical cow breeding.

It is possible to make a dozen spherical cow plushies for £20 (US$30). This is a popular hobby project because they are relatively easy to make. Only cuboid plushies are easier to make but both require relatively large amounts stuffing. Spherical cow plushies require two self-similar pieces of synthetic fur material. Ideally, the synthetic fur material will have a Jersey cow print. (Among professionals, Jersey print material is known as plane cow plush.)

The two pieces fit together in the manner of a tennis ball or hacky sack. In the trivial case, this requires an ellipsoid template consisting of a semi-circle joined to a rectangle and another semi-circle. For each piece of fur, ignoring allowance for sewing seams, the straight and curved sections should have the same length. The straight section of one piece should fit with the curve of the other piece. This sets the constraint for the relative lengths. For a semi-circle with radius r, the rectangular section should have width 2r and length πr. When a piece of material is curved to fit the other, it would be reasonably assumed that πr is the curved distance between polar opposite focus points of a curved ellipsoid. However, this is not the case.

Making the reasonable assumption that the seam does not stretch but that synthetic fur may stretch to become approximately spherical, it is neccesary to include the (appropriately named) Skinner's constant or other Flannagan Finagling Factor. The four inflection points (where the seam changes direction) are equally spaced around a great circle. Relative to the radius of the ends of an ellipsoid, the inflection points are sqrt(2)r from the center of the sphere. Therefore, for a tennis ball, spherical plushie or similar with a required radius r, all the previously stated measurements for ellipsoids should be scaled down by a factor of sqrt(2) (approximately 1.41). Common worked examples follow.

When making cutting templates from paper, length should be 1+π/2 of width - prior to ends being rounded. For an A4 sheet of paper (297mm×210mm), cut to 297mm×116mm before rounding ends. For a US Letter sheet of paper (11 inch × 8 inch), cut to 11 inch × 4.3 inch before rounding ends. This is suitable to make a plushie with 16cm (6 inch) diameter. Template and/or material should be cut with allowance for seams. Professionals typically include a 6mm (1/4 inch) seam in the template. A wider seam (included or excluded in the template) may be desirable due to inexperience and/or to increase sturdiness.

It may be useful to tack a few stitches where the straight/curved point of one piece meets the curved/straight point of the other piece. It may also be useful intermediate points. Each tack works as a rip-stop. It also reduces mismatch of material when sewing along seams. Optional adornments, such as legs and tail, can be sewn separately and then stitched into the seam. The tennis ball seam provides suitable placement for four legs, two ears and a nose. Miniture cow bells can be purchased in bulk from morris dancing suppliers.

The cheapest stuffing by volume is synthetic car washing sponge. However, the result may feel lumpy and distinctly not spherical. One sponge may be cut in half and each half may be trimmed into a dome shape. Another sponge may be cut to approximate a disc. The three layers (dome, disc, dome) may be squeezed through the hole of the synthetic cow hide before the final section of the seam is sewn closed. While attempting to close the seam in the least obvious manner, increase the difficulty of the task by simultaneously considering the hairy ball problem.

Worryingly, the result meets European safety standards for flammable material and also toys with small parts. However, it does not meet the widely flouted labelling regulations. Without exception, all waste material (fur, foam, cotton) may be stuffed into a spherical calf plushie. However, this does not meet safety standards and should not be given to the type of child inclined to stuff things up its nose; nominally a child less than three years old.

Synthetic fur may be occasionally brushed with a wig brush. Stains can be removed by soaking the surface material only. Deep ingress of water is likely to encourage mold. Synthetic fur is likely to curl or melt in a clothes dryer or under an electric hair dryer. Do not spin wash or tumble dry because it makes plushies very dizzy.

The doc was here just now. He said it went well. They're going to give my kidney to a pathologist to determine whether I'm likely to need chemo

I was dreading the pain in the recovery room but it's not so bad.

When they woke me up I didn't believe I had really had surgery. It was just like waking up in bed

Doc says I can eat real food now. I'm happy about that as I've been fasting since last night.

Paul Ryan should be focusing on holding the Majority rather than giving his opinions on Birthright Citizenship, something he knows nothing about! Vote Republican Tuesday! Our new Republican Majority will work on this, Closing the Immigration Loopholes and Securing our Boarders. This is a NATIONAL EMERGY! Must change laws!!!! #RedTide #14thAmendment #MAGA

Mike, assuming you have a normal sized kidney, tomorrow you will be approximately 150g lighter... Unless the surgeon leaves some tools inside you, then it will be a little less.

I'm sure you are in good hands and I hope everything goes well and I look forward to you getting back on here and posting random Unix commands and updates on your current mental state.

Godspeed MDC, godspeed!

Things are really coming to a head here. We have a bunch of alt-right jerkoffs hysterically jumping up and down shouting "butbutbutbut MUH FREEZE PEACH!!!111one" over Gab getting its blood supply cut off like the cancer it is.

Listen, you Constitutionally-ignorant know nothings, you fucking fourth-grade civics class failures, you frothing wild-eyed lunatics: the First Amendment merely says the government may not restrict your speech in and of itself (and there are still exception clauses for public safety).

It does not mean you have a right to be heard.

It does *not* mean you have a right to a platform.

It does NOT mean you have a right to incite violence.

And MOST OF ALL, it does NOT mean you have a right to escape the consequences of your speech.

Now, I personally am all for shitholes like gab.io, and would even support funding them. Why? Because they keep you stupid motherfuckers all in one place, contained, exposed, letting you mingle and hybridize and ooze and fester, like the old Chinese sorcery "gu." Some interestingly poisonous shit must come out of that. Free association and all that, right? And poison goes where poison's wanted.

The most hilarious part of this, though? It's when all the gibbertarian shitheads start demanding that Thuh Eebil Gubbamint stop *private corporations* from doing what the fuck they want with their resources! News flash, assholes: corporations have discovered that hosting actual, literal, Heil-Hitlering, 1488'ing Nazis is a Bad Business Decision (TM). That burning pain you feel is the Invisible Hand of the Free Market smacking you across your inbred faces so hard it raises welts. And raising a gigantic middle finger at you. You made your bed, now lie in it.

So keep screaming and howling at the corporations and the government both to do your bidding. Keep marching. Keep concentrating yourselves into ever smaller and more feverish and more frenzied little circlejerks deep in the festering asshole of the internet. Keep displaying your ignorance and stupidity and hatred and utter, utter impotent rage.

We won't necessarily punch a Nazi, but we're sure as shit gonna mock a Nazi till y'all drop dead of apoplexy. And something tells me what you really can't stand is mockery; violence you will merely take as incentive to continue on. But being laughed at? No. Never. What you fear most isn't death; it's having to live on, knowing your entire political philosophy is a laughingstock, a byword for ineffectual, self-destructive evil, your entire lives wasted on this destructive, fruitless comedy of errors.

It's coming. You've already lost. You lost the moment you started this.

Very sad video coming to us from @funny_marco. My African American went to Starbucks. Wearing, very proudly, my Official Donald Trump Make America Great Again Hat. In beautiful Red (RED WAVE!). But, along came an Open Boarders Dem, very angry. And it got violent as it always does with them. Very proud of the way my guy stood up for the Donald J. Trump Administration. And for America. He put America First, even inside Starbucks. Amazing! youtu.be/6Jtlh-rXNm8

Whether you are African-American, Hispanic-American or ANY AMERICAN at all – you have the right to live in a Country that puts YOUR NEEDS FIRST! I'm the only guy who could unite our Country. But, I have a lot of work to do. My wonderful -- mostly wonderful -- @SenateGOP @HouseGOP are a big part of that. But the biggest part is YOU, the great American people. When you wear my Hat, you're telling everyone something very special. Without even opening your mouth, you're saying something very big. That our Country has TREMENDOUS FUTURE POTENTIAL. The potential to be Great Again. That is my message. The message of my hats. And it's so important. So important. Shop now! shop.donaldjtrump.com/collections/headwear