Also, are we trying to de-anonymize ACs ?
And an adult partner I hope...- Chris Hansen
Define "adult" please.Some species don't live that long.
Adulting is hard.
You all know too much about my marital status...
So where is the "○ Snow" option?
You can get a snowball if you want, no need to be all PDA about it!
People we know are surprised, but envy what we have.
What if you don't get divorced, even though you both would have. You each have your own life. Continue to raise kid together. in one house Have evening meals together until and beyond when the kid moves out in their early 20's. Don't have fights. Everyone knows what house responsibilities they have. Have a big enough house that you each have your own space (even before kid moved out). Continue to remain married so wife can stay on your health insurance, and continue to not have to work. Take vacations together as we always have done. (Yea, Disney World) Finances are shared as they always have been. Everything jointly owned. We go to family events together. We've both realized and discussed that we trust each other with a far deeper trust than anyone else on this earth. And I mean trust like medical or even end of life decisions.
Clicking divorced, separated, etc implies problems which we do not have. Clicking married, while technically correct, is not accurate. While traveling that technicality is often convenient. Sometimes confusing ("you want separate double beds?")
Life partner :)
You're married. Sounds like the only thing that's different is that you're not having a sexual relationship with your wife.
But... that's not exactly different than a lot of other marriages.
You have one of the best marriage outcomes possible. Sex is good, but it goes down in priorities as the age builds up. Having someone to trust and to live with is, well, the other way round and for most people it is way harder to achieve.
I know a couple living this way. They even adopted a child (after their own one became a father himself) and this child is one of the happiest I have ever seen. Mom and dad sleeping on different floors? That's the way it has to be, probably.
I've been in a couple relationships in which the woman and I lived together, and I'm pretty sure they both would have lasted until now had we not lived together. Unless you absolutely have to do so for survival reasons, living together is not always a good idea. If I ever got married I'd be totally fine with living separately even as a married couple.
Are you Bi then?I thought you were gay..
Sounds like what I have. Without the kid.
I miss the sex. Mostly.
Sometimes confusing ("you want separate double beds?")
Simple enough -- each of you point to the other and say "s/he snores".
Both sets of my grandparents had separate bedrooms before I was born until they died. The men were free to fart as they pleased, and the women could decorate and scent the air as they pleased. And they damn sure were done making babies.
I'm a widower. My wife died on May 29 this year.
And I have three adult children.
I wondered about that option too, as my "children" are both bigger than me.
Limited number of options available though, I'm not complaining, honest.;-)
Like Gaark, "I never know what to say". I think that's because there are no words to express what needs to be said.
Sorry for your loss.Move on.
Being a little deaf, I'm not sure I caught the words at the end of the video. Was it "And you're hot."?
For people who say, "I'm sorry for your loss", if they actually knew my wife, I reply, "Your loss, too."
As for not knowing what to say ... There isn't anything to say. That what makes it awkward.
Jenn tells him to say "I'm sorry for your loss, and move on"
That is just exactly what he says instead of just "Sorry for your loss" and then moving on.
So the last part is "Move on".
Thank you. That makes more sense than what I misheard.
I hope you are doing okay.
As okay as can be expected, and maybe a bit more. We had 40 years together. She had Parkinson's disease, and I think toward the end I could get along without her better then she could get along without me. So I'd say we are dying in the right order.
She was a hematologist -- a doctor that treats blood disorders. Eventually her Parkinsons's disease made it impossible to treat patients any more. She hunk in there still, supervising the Hematology lab and reading blood slides. Eventually she had to let that go too -- involuntary movements at the microscope made her seasick.
After that she used her medical knowledge to keep up on research into Parkinsons's disease and present the latest developments at a Parkinsons's disease support group. She kept as active as she could toward the end.
It wasn't Parkinsons's that killed her, though. It was a leaky heart valve.
I find myself with a lot of free time now. I hadn't realized how much of my time was spent taking care of her. I'm only gradually finding worthwhile things to do.
I've had forty good years with her, and children from her, and that is a gift.
I can smile, remembering the 40 years together. That doesn't stop me from crying sometimes too. Sometimes tears and laughter are the same thing.
Friend and neighbor of ours was a speech therapist. Around age 45 she got a rapid onset degenerative brain-motor thing, first noticed it when her speech got slurry, within a year after that she was stuck in bed navigating a computer mouse by optical tracking of a ball on the end or her nose, and within 3 months of hitting that stage she was gone. Left her husband and teenage daughter behind - pretty rough thing, but... I question whether, from this day forward, I'd rather have 10 years of "good life" and a quick exit, or 20 years of something degenerative and crippling like Parkinson's? I'm pretty sure I still lean toward the rapid, relatively graceful exit - not that we get to choose.
Gwen lasted something like 13 years since first diagnosis. There are things you can do to keep Parkinson's at bay. There are drugs to supply the missing dopamine (which is very difficult to dose consistently for a lot of biological reasons). And there is exercise, which is quite effective.
She was very aggressively active, all the way to the end. When she was forced to abandon one productive activity, she found another. All the way until her heart failed.
The slow degeneration was there, but it wasn't as terrible as you made it sound. It certainly helped that, retired, I had the time to assist her.
Parkinsons is a broad term - my Grandfather was diagnosed with it for 20 years, but it didn't really do much to him beyond making it hard to write legibly... Michael J Fox, on the other hand, seems to be struggling quite a bit more. When the first DBS coverage hit 60 minutes, three generations of our family got together to watch it. The before/after improvement was indeed dramatic, but the after condition was still far worse than anything we have experienced in our family.
You're absolutely right about: use it or lose it. Staying as active as possible is the best protection for continued function of those activities.
My (probably oversimplified) understanding of the effect of exercise on Parkinson's is that you keep training neurons to do what the dying neurons used to do. Of course that stops when you run out of neurons.
That is one important factor. At work we did some experimental treatment of Parkinsons that involved improvement of circulation, that had some fairly dramatic effects, not a cure by any means, but a reduction in symptoms of "shuffle-gait" which increased ability to continue activities / slow the decline. Shutdown of circulation accompanies many conditions, including chronic bed rest, and accelerates decline of many functions.
My wife died on May 26, 2003. Still not "over it".
You never will be "over it". My first wife died in 1972. I still occasionally think of her and cry silently. It took me almost a decade to be ready to start over again.
I've never been a fan of the "widow vs widower" terminology. Doesn't "widower" make it sound like it's his fault his wife died? Widower, one who widows, vs widow, one who was widowed. Action verb
I am sorry, especially if you're experiencing that awkward phrase when those around you may be returning to regular behaviors but you're still acutely feeling grief. Which may not be you (either in your friends behaviors or your own grief response), but it often happens around the 2-3 month range so I felt obligated to share it. I've never met anyone who lost a spouse who had it easy, no matter what age or length of marriage.
Divorced, twice. One male from the first marriage, two females from the second. All independent adults now.
Someone else wrote they are recently widowed, and I did not want to be utterly insensitive, so I'll post it here:
You lucky bastard! I had to divorce my wife and pay thru the nose for the privilege!
Very sorry, I just had to get it out.
If your relationship comes to the point where divorce become the only good answer, I get your point.
Mine didn't. I'm grateful for the 40 years I had with her.
So I suppose I'm doubly lucky. Having a good relationship and also not having a divorce.
I'm sorry you didn't have it as easy.
Have I got a chair for you: it's electrifying!
Let's line up Saudi Arabia and Israel for the crimes of 9/11 first.
Meh...line up George Bush first.
:-) You're wagging the dog [independent.co.uk]
That could take awhile. You can do a slew of the population of male Australian aboriginals while you're at it.
Is it legal to marry an HVAC unit?
It wasn't a few years ago, but I bet you could convince someone to let you do it in 2019.
LGBTQIA+HVAC, seems legit.
Soon we will see HVAC Pride Parade.
I've heard those HVAC's suck.
Don't you want them to blow you?
What? Fuck it. From now on I'm writting it regular: LGBT[A-Z]*and hope they won't start to use utf asian characters.
Trans-Exlusionary Radical Feminist. Originally just named radical feminism. The basis of radical feminism is that gender is a social construct forced upon people at birth and are roles specifically designed to keep women subordinate to men (masculinity vs.feminity).
Have you had the operation yet? What will it be in the future? FatPhillipe? FatFran?
That would make a gynophile the opposite of a TERF, making TERF a misogynist?If so, why not just use the word misogynist? Is it too hard to remember how to spell?
[^:white_heterosexual_male:]*There you go.
Because all the other minorities have a distinctive identity. And you can't play identity politics without identities.
They are the only ones who want to be so distinguished.....
Only if the HVAC unit consents.
I really don't know, but a friend seriously wanted to 'marry' his 'waifu'.Yes. Seriously. Got pictures to prove it.
Local radio station had a bit about finding love in the grocery store: "Marry Me, Ice Cream!"
Negative. It is a meat popsicle.
Yes, in Japan.
For the people on here who occasionally have arguments/fights with your spouse, did your parents or their parents have arguments/fights?
If you don't have arguments/fights with your spouse, you're doing something wrong. You won't ever, always agree, on everything. Just make sure your arguments/fights are handled in a rational, loving way.
The wife is always right... even if she isn't.
Yup, that's what did my marriage in: poor communication. That and our different ways of handling our anger. I would become visibly angry, but generally keep it to myself and in a day or so, it would subside as I sorted it out in my head. Her? I could always tell; she would stop talking to me. But I (foolishly) thought she would process it the same as I did. NOPE. She never let go of it. We almost NEVER fought.
Then out of the blue comes the "we need to go to marriage counseling". Huh? Okay... find out it is mostly her baggage. But in the end, it was nothing I could have done. In retrospect, I should have dragged out of her what had put a burr under her saddle and dealt with it. What was it? I had said NO to a second child. I get that it's an important thing for a mother, but dammit a child needs to have both parents on board with the idea, right?
Oh, we get along fine now, we mostly keep to ourselves except for things involving our son. I do help her out, and vice versa. Heck, I'd take her back if she'd ever ask me (that will almost certainly never happen however).
Just make sure your arguments/fights are handled in a rational, loving way.
That can't last. Nobody can follow the loving way with wrinkled dry and flaccid love organs.
My wife and I fight when one or both of us is tired. When on vacation, we never fight.
Her family fought out loud, whereas my parents fought quietly: my mom said he once didn't talk to her for 3 days.
So marrying my wife was a shock: she wanted to hash it out loudly, while I wanted to just shut down.
Not really. One or two major blowups but that's about it. Mostly they just hit the kids.
That's illegal where I live!
The rest of you are slackers. Get on it.
Heck, I'm a slacker. I only started at 25, with a woman of 22. We could have started at least 7 years earlier, gaining several more kids. We also could have used fertility drugs each time, possibly quadrupling our results.
Anything less than 8 is pitiful. It's a sign you prioritize toys over humans. It's like telling your pitiful little family that you don't love them as much as you love material objects.
It's like telling your pitiful little family that you don't love them as much as you love material objects.
I don't need to tell them, they are well aware.
Single, never married, no kids. I've never been disillusioned with my priorities.
Sounds like my Uncle, who wanted cheap farm laborers. Later divorced and married a Mexican. Catholics! Meh!
Wow, I bet the barn looks like a roach motel.
Ethanol_fuddled aspires to be Ego, his own planet! Careful when those kids come home, Big Boy!!
Blown up by a tree and raccoon, that just seems so fitting.
Yeah, because we have so many spare resources on this world … no, wait, we don't.
Most population experts think planet Earth can support about 10 billion people, and that when our population reaches that number, it will start to decline. This will likely happen by the year 2100.
World Population Clock [worldometers.info]: 7.7 Billion People (2019)
You are a weird little troll. I've never understood what would make an incel fantasize about this sort of thing...
Racist!The poster is obviously a proud child proliferating muslim.How can you, of all people, pass judgement on this. I am shocked, shocked I tell you.
1) Muslim isn't a race2) You're not a very good troll.3) You forgot to log in, NPC-$BIGNUM
Found 0 sentences matching phrase "Westpondian" [glosbe.com]
I'm guessing they mean "West of the Pond", i.e. across the Atlantic, i.e. American
Not to be judgmental or anything, but over here we’d say you were naughty in the noughties.
Cohabitting without marriage. Not legally recognized here (Bulgaria) and generally easier and better for the partners and their children.
We (as a group) seem to skew pretty old, genx or older. I'm the same age as Fat Phil implies; graduated HS soon after the fall of the Berlin wall.
Strange Berlin Wall fact: I was born after it was built so it seemed eternal to me like the pyramids, although it only stood for 28 years... and came down 30 years ago... so its already been down longer than it was up, sorta.
Without going much more deeply than you did, I had graduated High School before the Berlin wall fell, but not by very long... especially from this end of it.
We don't need no educationWe don't need no thought control
Nice try, but that The Wall has absolutely nothing to do with the Berlin one.
None of your business.
Where is the "Illegally married" option?