You send us your most ephemeral and worthless communications, and we'll carefully transcribe them into the most long-lasting medium known to man - a clay tablet [dumbcuneiform.com].
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We’ll carefully translate it into cuneiform
We'll stamp it on an actual clay tablet
and mail it to you.Favorite jokes? Amazing pickup lines? Your 2-star review of last summer's blockbuster?
KEEP IT FOREVER.
I dunno, the choice of Old Persian is rather questionable when everyone knows the lingua franca was Akkadian, and looking at the tablets it's pretty clear they were using a sharpened chopstick rather than reeds harvested from the banks of the Euphrates. In sum: FAIL.