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Soylent News Caption Contest

Rejected submission by Anonymous Coward at 2017-06-03 17:57:46
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An Anonymous Coward writes:

For some reason I really like this cartoon [preview.ibb.co] I came across from reading this story [soylentnews.org], but the lesson it teaches is a bit too serious.

So I removed the captions [imgur.com] and was wondering what the correct captions should be. Any ideas?

Original Submission