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MichaelDavidCrawford (2339)
mdcrawford@gmail.com
http://guacamoleroad.com/
I can slice, dice, julienne and puree.
Journal of MichaelDavidCrawford (2339)
I invented something about a year ago, and have been tinkering with it most of the time since.
I abandoned it in November when I concluded that it could not possibly work. But in December I started taking imipramine for my depression.
At first only one other person knew about my invention. I discussed it with him a couple weeks ago: "Which is truth and which is delusion? Will my invention work or not?"
"It seems like a reasonable idea," he replied but even so I was unsure as he is not an expert in this area. He only had my own explanations to go on. However I decided I really had nothing better to do so I continued my development.
I made twenty grand in just the last week.
Starting a week or two from now I confidently expect to make ten grand per day.
I apologize, I really do, but the value of my invention depends on secrecy. If I were to explain it to you, it would be very easy for you to build one. I've often puzzled over why no one else has done this before, eventually to conclude that others already have it, but are keeping a very low profile.
I'm going to donate every last penny of my money to homeless shelters, rescue missions and soup kitchens.
Last October or so, a drop-dead gorgeous woman said to me "That's a really nice shirt you're wearing." My reply?
"I bought it because I sleep under a highway overpass. The dark red doesn't show the dirt."
(Score: 1) by tractatus_techno_philosophicus on Tuesday May 24 2016, @06:44PM
Personally, if it were me, I'd live it up just a teeny bit first :)
No moral system can rest solely on authority. ~A.J. Ayer
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Tuesday May 24 2016, @07:14PM
There's a strip club on damn near every streetcorner. One of my very best friends is the bartender for one.
She knew I was homeless so she started giving me free coffee.
I've been promising all the dancers that I would start tipping them Real Soon Now. Several of them are friends as well.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 1) by tractatus_techno_philosophicus on Tuesday May 24 2016, @07:48PM
I'm far too introverted to be able to enjoy something like that, but fair play to you. Celebrating a windfall for me would involve an apartment renovation, a fancy ice bucket loaded with Dom Pérignon and a new cat fortress for the resident feline. God, I need to get out more.
No moral system can rest solely on authority. ~A.J. Ayer
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Tuesday May 24 2016, @10:35PM
-r. I'd do the work myself as I enjoy that kind of thing.
The previous tenant was a smoker. If I leave the windows shut for a few hours the place starts to stink.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 3, Interesting) by Azuma Hazuki on Wednesday May 25 2016, @12:50AM
*biiiiiig hugs!*
I'm so happy for you, Mike :) You deserve this, and no one should suffer the way you have. And I'm especially impressed that you intend to pay it both back AND forward. May your fortune continue!
I am "that girl" your mother warned you about...
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Wednesday May 25 2016, @04:47AM
I learned a great deal of humility during my time on the street. There was a time that I was not so kind to my fellow man.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday May 24 2016, @08:02PM
This is great news to hear.
Just set some money aside in case something happens and hire a lawyer before signing anything.
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Tuesday May 24 2016, @10:43PM
I bought some Apple stock from 1995 through 1996. But I sold it all because I needed the cash. If only I'd held onto it... but back then it didn't strike me as a wise investment.
I used to earn quite a lot of money. I was a Senior Engineer at Apple, a Principal Engineer at AMCC. Towards the end of the dot-com boom I billed $120 per hour for my consulting.
But then I spent it all on hookers and blow.
With the exception that I get burglarized, I'm actually OK to live in a tent under a highway overpass. I don't think I'll be looking to enter High Society.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 2) by Scruffy Beard 2 on Tuesday May 24 2016, @08:38PM
I have heard that some companies use Trade secrets instead of patents. Patents expire after 20 years, while Trade Secrets don't.
However, it is risky because if somebody independently invents the same thing and patents it, they can prohibit you from using your trade Secret: if they ever find out about it.
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Tuesday May 24 2016, @10:38PM
It doesn't mean you can quash the patent but it does mean you get to keep using the invention.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 2) by quadrox on Tuesday May 24 2016, @08:42PM
If your invention depends on secrecy, then how do you make money on it? At some point somebody needs to interact with your invention, right? Or why would they pay you money?
(Score: 3, Interesting) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Tuesday May 24 2016, @10:41PM
However you're going to have a really hard time finding that output. I know all manner of ways to obfuscate what I'm really doing.
Some guy in Silicon Valley used genetic algorithms to invent things that he would then patent. I'm not doing quite that but it's conceptually similar.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 3, Insightful) by Nerdfest on Tuesday May 24 2016, @10:47PM
You seem like a good person, which is rare enough these days, but who is very up-front in dealing with problems of all kinds. I hope you become as rich as you deserve. I hope it makes up for the hard times you've been through.
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Tuesday May 24 2016, @11:44PM
I'm finding this a letter hard to accept.
It's going to be a little while before I have actual cash.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 2) by Gaaark on Wednesday May 25 2016, @12:10AM
Just....
...no more blow.
Hookers maybe, once in a while, but NO MORE BLOW!!!! :)
--- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---
(Score: 3, Funny) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Wednesday May 25 2016, @04:54AM
It was too stimulating for me.
I'm seeing a real nice lady now, so maybe I'll have to cut down on the hookers.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 3, Insightful) by Bobs on Wednesday May 25 2016, @02:29AM
(Unsolicited advice: I encourage you to take a fixed percentage of the money every week and put into into a rainy-day / investment fund, once you have your basics covered.)
And good luck!
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Wednesday May 25 2016, @04:51AM
Individuals can do IRAs but the contribution limit is quite low. But I'll do that at first. Maybe if I form a corporation I can give myself a 401k.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 2) by VLM on Wednesday May 25 2016, @09:10PM
Its not like brokerages will only accept 401K or IRA money. They're perfectly happy to accept money.
Taxes are considerably more complicated than just stashing it in the bank.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 25 2016, @09:17PM
And talk to an accountant. I made like a house worth of money in a transaction and the IRS was fairly pissed off that I didn't submit quarterlies and just sent them a car sized check the next April. It turned out OK in the end.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Wednesday May 25 2016, @05:11AM
I just had to tell someone today or I was going to explode.
It's going to be real hard for anyone to figure out what I'm up to just by watching me.
As far as anyone in Portland or Vancouver know, I hang out at wifi spots all the time where I hang out on soylent news.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 2) by JNCF on Wednesday May 25 2016, @07:15AM
Hopefully you can explain it in more detail some day, after the secret is out and the fortune made. It might make for a wonderful story submission.
I'm glad to see that your maybe-cancer turned out probably fine, by the way!
Are you going to continue working as Soggy Wizards, or busking? It sounds like you won't have to do either, and I know you'd rather pursue music than programming.
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Thursday May 26 2016, @02:43PM
I'm going to sing on the street so I can buy my lady a latte tomorrow.
I'm working to promote the soggywizards website. I've been promised some work in late june or maybe july.
But singing on the street is good for my voice.
I just got my keyboard and amp out of my storage locker. Once I make a battery power supply for the keyboard I'll play piano on the street.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 3, Insightful) by turgid on Wednesday May 25 2016, @11:45AM
You deserve your success. Long may it continue.
Your journal here shows how you have coped with all your troubles with great dignity and courage. It's an inspiration to us all and a reminder of the wealth of humanity that often goes unnoticed in this greedy world.
I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent [wikipedia.org].
(Score: 2) by pixeldyne on Wednesday May 25 2016, @10:27PM
Congratulations, it seems good things do come to good people after all.
I was wondering about imipramine. Ive tried it myself but had terrible physical side effects as well as general lack of drive and focus. Ive fixed it temporarily with modafinil, although I think it was more of a placebo effect. Ive had to quit imipramine rather quickly.
Would you say imipramine helped you in your endeavour? Did its effects change over time as your body uhh grew accustomed to it?
All the best!
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Thursday May 26 2016, @02:46PM
-y.
I was once prescribed Norpramine. I could only take one tablet as it caused a terrible anxiety attack.
I haven't got any side effects from the imipramine. I decided that my depression was all the way gone a couple weeks ago when I got back my ability to write.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 2) by jdavidb on Thursday May 26 2016, @12:35AM
May bright times be ahead. :)
ⓋⒶ☮✝🕊 Secession is the right of all sentient beings
(Score: 1) by khallow on Thursday May 26 2016, @07:52PM
Starting a week or two from now I confidently expect to make ten grand per day.
Sorry, I don't buy it. Sure, more power to you if you really can make this happen. But I've read your posts for about ten years off and on, and you have a rather considerable capacity for self-deception even by our low standards. Make sure those checks clear first before you start bragging. But if they do, feel free to tell me "I told you so"!
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Saturday May 28 2016, @08:37PM
It will be a while before I have any actual cash.
My ship isn't actually at the dock, rather it's on the horizon.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday May 28 2016, @08:40PM
You should find someone you can trust to tell you the truth and ask them if you are being delusional.
When things seem too good to be true, they might not actually be true. Good luck and I hope a trusted friend can confirm the good news.