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MichaelDavidCrawford (2339)
mdcrawford@gmail.com
http://guacamoleroad.com/
I can slice, dice, julienne and puree.
Journal of MichaelDavidCrawford (2339)
I realized last week that I could build one of Apple's driver stacks at home. I wanted this so I could turn on its logging as well as to enable source code debugging.
Each day I updated my clients on my progress, however by today I was quite dismayed that I still couldn't get it to build. This because Apple has a private SDK called macosx.internal. The drivers from Apple's Open Source site once built out of the box, thereby enabling OpenDarwin, but now they don't.
I at first had no clue what was in machos.internal - damn autocorrect! - but eventually figured out that it needed some headers from the xnu kernel.
I figured I should try building the kernel first, but again it depends on macosx.internal. All I really needed was the headers, so I tried:
$ make installhdrs
... which did install lots of headers, but not the ones I needed. The only headers it installs are already in Kernel.framework. I needed some of the private headers. As I figured them out I added them to my own private Kernel.framework.
When I started work again today I mailed my clients with "Working at home to continue building the IOGraphicsFamily. I am dismayed that this is taking so long."
Dismayed because the client wants to send my driver to OEMs on the first.
Eric wrote back, "Do you think this will help?"
"Yes. It should enable debugging of that showstopper bug."
"The one Lucas fixed last week?"
(Score: -1, Troll) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday November 28 2017, @11:43PM (9 children)
Old disabled white male = diversity hire.
What would you say you do at work?
(Score: 3, Interesting) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Wednesday November 29 2017, @01:38AM (4 children)
I'm good at my work. Everything I write works flawlessly. But I'm slow. That's a real problem as I am paid for milestones and shipments. My total pay for 2017 will be $41k with no benefits nor stock. At a salaried job I could command $135k with stock options.
Lucas is just as good as me but he is also fast.
Oddly he regards himself as incompetent.
He's also Chinese; his imposter syndrome quite likely the result of the brutal exams that prospective college students have to do well in.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday November 29 2017, @06:30AM (3 children)
I'm great at my work. I write brilliant ideas into flawless code. But I'm not social. That's a real problem as I have neglected to put my name on any of my work for the past 15 years. The downside of working anonymously is that I have no reputation with which to impress the kinds of corporate idiots who pay $135k. Idiots want narcissistic techbro social coders who incessantly blog about every achievement. Whereas I'm literally too self-absorbed to brag about my skills. I already know very well what my skills are and I don't waste my time proving myself to idiots who choose not to believe me.
Of course an antisocial loser like me who stubbornly refuses to engage in any form of reputation management is always the first to be laid off during every recession. My total pay for 2017 will be $0. My total pay for 2016 was $0. My total pay for 2015 was $0. My total pay for 2014 was $0. And so on. This great recession is a drag. The only advantage of having no income is I don't pay any taxes either. Also of course I have no health insurance, thank Obama, because I am American.
It's pretty clear that my personality type is completely unwelcome in tech. Because I'm an actual genuine real nerd instead of a social poser fake nerd. I learn for the joy of learning, I code for the thrill of accomplishment, and I never get paid.
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Wednesday November 29 2017, @07:08AM
QWERTY UIOP
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 2) by Snow on Wednesday November 29 2017, @04:28PM (1 child)
I hear you buddy.
I don't like to toot my own horn either. One of my coworkers has a promotion all lined up for herself. Is it because of her technical skills? HAH! No, it's because she knows which asses to lick.
(Score: 2) by The Mighty Buzzard on Friday December 01 2017, @11:26AM
You know what works for me? Toot that bastard till the end blows off but do it in an over the top way so it's obvious you're not taking yourself too seriously.
My rights don't end where your fear begins.
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Wednesday November 29 2017, @01:42AM (3 children)
My client retained me based entirely on this website [soggywizards.com]. It doesn't even have my name on the homepage or on the page about OS X kernel extensions. Certainly not my age. No gray-haired photos either.
I'm a contract programmer so I'm paid like they pay for office supplies. Consultants never go through HR.
The reason I changed my specialty to drivers was that it is damn near impossible for someone with grey hair to get a job as a mobile app developer. My homelessness had quite a lot to do with my desire to be a mobile app developer.
Finally I gave up, registered the soggywizards.com domain and hung out my contract programming shingle. I get a serious client inquiry about once per month. Not all of the potential clients decide to retain me, but I've been with this particular client for a year.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday November 29 2017, @07:01AM (2 children)
I have absolutely zero interest in mobile apps. Too trendy. Too mainstream. Too boring.
On the one hand, I should totally blag a blog to teach Comcast lovers like MDC how to steal free internet from Comcast. It's almost like stealing cable except wireless and a lot more fun.
On the other hand, as the old joke says, "If you're too stupid to break in and create your own account, I don't want you on the system. We've got too many goddamn shit-for-brains assholes on this box anyway."
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Wednesday November 29 2017, @07:13AM (1 child)
I don't recall the name but I found it helpful that it displayed the signal strengths in Db.
When I was staying with my mother she would not permit me to use my own money to get cable internet for her home. So I used her 2002 iMac G4 - the space probe module - as a gateway so I could get online with its dialup, which never worked worth a damn.
So I had the bright idea that I could hack into the wifi of one of her condo association neighbors. I WILL NEVER BUY A HOUSE THAT"S UNDER THE THUMB OF A HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATION M"KAY?
But no, all her neighbors were secure enough that that hacking tool didn't work.
In my current apartment I could have used a Pringles can to get online via the cop shop that's two doors down - they have free city of Vancouver public service wifi. But before I could get around to eating potato chips I'd already sprung for my cable modem.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Wednesday November 29 2017, @06:17PM
Fghjjfdtt eqdf
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: -1, Troll) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday November 29 2017, @12:08AM (14 children)
Hire Michael David Crawford today and your company will receive federal grant money for employing the mentally disabled. Your regular employees will enjoy having MDC around as the lovable office pet. See MDC sing and dance for your amusement. Pay MDC a pittance and he will be happy to spam the internet about his frugal diet of cheese on pasta. MDC might even pretend to work.
(Score: 3, Touché) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Wednesday November 29 2017, @01:43AM (5 children)
http://soggywizards.com [soggywizards.com]
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday November 29 2017, @06:33AM (4 children)
You'll receive the federal funding, if you hire M-D-C
You'll receive the federal funding, if you hire M-D-C
Take your colleagues out to dinner, pay Crawford to come and sing
Take your colleagues out to dinner, pay Crawford to come and sing
Sing, sing, sing
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Wednesday November 29 2017, @07:14AM
!@#$%^&*()_+
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 30 2017, @03:28AM (2 children)
I realize that it's not in your (soulless, conformist, Reactionary) makeup, but I'd like to see you do something that would piss off a cop such that he would try to dribble yur head on the concrete.
After that, it would be interesting to see how YOU manage.
-- OriginalOwner_ [soylentnews.org]
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Thursday November 30 2017, @04:01AM (1 child)
I was unconscious for three days.
For a couple days after I woke up, while I could correctly visualize the spelling of my own name when I thought about it, I was unable to spell it correctly when I tried to write it on paper with a pencil.
The first thing I did once I could spell correctly again was to write a letter to the Portland ACLU in which I asked them to represent me in a civil rights complaint. Six months passed, then I received a preprinted form letter from them telling me they would not take my case, and that they focus their efforts on constitutional issues.
I don't know what it is about getting damn near lobotomized by our protect and serve OHSU's finest that's not a constitutional question.
They did that to me after I pissed on the floor of a concrete holding cell that had no toilet. The absence of a toilet all by itself is unconstitutional.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 30 2017, @08:24PM
Yeah. I know.
That's why I mentioned it to the snarky one-size-fits-all soulless, conformist, Reactionary.
There's a lot of folks coming from different backgrounds|with different conditions (some not of their own making).
Not being able to imagine oneself in someone else's shoes is a sign of gross immaturity.
Maybe one day he'll grow up.
-- OriginalOwner_ [soylentnews.org]
(Score: 1) by Ethanol-fueled on Wednesday November 29 2017, @10:58PM (7 children)
Well, waitaminute, maybe he could also shoot for the diversity hire thing as well. Some Cherokees have blue eyes and basically look like average Joe White.
I do the same thing because I have brown hair and eyes and can pass for an Armenian. And I am 12.5% Hispanic and 12.5% Native American so I am technically telling the truth. The only problem is developing an accent. At this point I'm wondering whether to study Speedy Gonzalez or Spaghetti-western Chief Running-Bear.
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Wednesday November 29 2017, @11:23PM (6 children)
Upon reading the menu in a Mexican restaurant the blonde waitress asked "May I take your order?" without any trace of an accent.
I replied "I know I'm in a really good restaurant when the menu has things that I never heard of."
She screamed, threw her hands in the air then ran into the kitchen.
Not long after, an olive skinned man came out of the kitchen and with a heavy accent asked "May I take your order?"
To which I replied "I insulted your waitress. Please convey my heartfelt apologies to her."
She eventually worked up the courage to wait on me. I avoided speaking as much as I could.
On another occasion I said "Mi hombre Miguel. Tu hombre?" She was delighted, and told me her name, which I have forgotten.
Just saying "Buenas tardes" makes many Hispanics happy. It doesn't have an English translation as tardes is the period of time from early afternoon to early evening. "Buenas Dias" does not mean good day it means good morning. "Buenas noches" means good night but not "I am going to sleep now" it means good late-night.
The anglo-looking Hispanics are descendants of the Castilian - European - Spanish who have no Indian heritage. To my dismay and to that I am sure of many others, all their TV stars are Castilians. I've seen some Mexican TV but I cannot recall seeing any actors with olive skin.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 2) by t-3 on Thursday November 30 2017, @03:08AM
Just "buenos" is fine, no need to worry about the time of day.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 30 2017, @03:22AM (4 children)
When they fixed you up with new glasses, did they get the prescription wrong?
...or does the h on your keyboard [google.com] look like an n? [google.com]
...and in the Spanish class that I took, they had us saying "Se llama[1] Luis[2]."
[1] "I am called".
[2] No equivalent in Spanish of my first name, unlike my classmates Mike (Miguelito), David (Dah-veed), or Tamera (whose name already sounded Spanish).
-- OriginalOwner_ [soylentnews.org]
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Thursday November 30 2017, @04:03AM
;jfkdvnsdjfvn;asde aswefjn sdaefnvfd
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Thursday November 30 2017, @04:06AM
"Mi nombre" is the Mexican dialect.
I expect you were taught Castillian Spanish for the same reason I was taught High German: all Spanish speakers and all German speakers understand them.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Thursday November 30 2017, @04:07AM (1 child)
-g.
He spent some time helping me to get it right, at least according to him: "Melito".
I expect that's a non-Mexican dialect but I didn't think to ask.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 3, Informative) by t-3 on Friday December 01 2017, @04:54AM
Could be a southwestern US thing, they tend to roll over the g's into an aspirated sound. "Agua" is pronounced "ahwa" etc.
(Score: 2) by mrpg on Wednesday November 29 2017, @02:48AM (1 child)
Good luck!
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Wednesday November 29 2017, @05:19AM
Hhhgggfddvvukkjk
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 2, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday November 29 2017, @11:51AM (2 children)
Some of the comments here are just sad. Like I struggle to cope with knowing some folks have no problem being such cunts in a public forum. MDC had hit an extremely rough patch not long ago and is in the process of power sliding out of it like a champion, give the dude some props!
At the risk of feeding the trolls, this kind of past could be on the cards for any of us, or any of our loved ones. I admire people who go through hell only to come out the other side this well and suspect most of his detractors can only dream of coding at his level.
Best of luck to you Michael.
(Score: 4, Insightful) by realDonaldTrump on Wednesday November 29 2017, @12:52PM
Sometimes by LOSING a battle you find a new way to win the war.
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Wednesday November 29 2017, @06:15PM
Fghujtdsdvg
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]