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Snow (1601)
Wow, this Christmas season was crazy. They always are for me, but this one was particularly stressful.
My parents are divorced, so any event (Christmas, birthdays, Easter, etc) has to be done twice. Typically, for Christmas, that means having Christmas Eve at my Mom's, then Christmas day at my Dad's. This year my brother couldn't make it into town until boxing day so everything was delayed a couple days. It becomes a challenge to choose days that work for everyone and that causes me stress. Anyways, we got things mostly sorted out.
One of the days I headed over to my Dad's for our Christmas dinner, mashed potatoes in hand. Just as we are arriving, my dad is leaving. He tells us that he just got a call from 'The Home' and that they said that Gramps was on his last legs. It was time for the family to say our final goodbyes. We all head down to The Home and say goodbye. He was in a coma or something. Not conscious, but seemed to be quite peaceful. I said my goodbye, conscious of the rest of the family watching me.
I'm not really good with death. The rest of my family was pretty upset (Gramps was the patriarch of the family), but I never really feel anything. It's kind of uncomfortable because I feel like I should feel sad or something, but I felt nothing. Gramps was an old man. He was almost 100 years old and lived a good life. So, I'm there with the rest of my family who are crying and hugging and all that, feeling like I should be feeling something.
Gramps died the next day. That turned an already stressful time into an extra stressful time for me. Now, in addition to multiple Christmas dinners, I had a family pub night, prayer ceremony, funeral, reception, burial, and family skating party. Oh, and also my daughter's first birthday. Being that busy really stresses me out, as do changes to plans.
The day after Gramps dies, my wife and daughter got a stomach bug and were puking. The first night, my daughter puked in the bed 5 times. I was mentally exhausted, and now physically exhausted too. My poor wife felt horrid, so I did what I could. Mostly changing sheets and getting drinks. Just as they start feeling better, it was my turn to get the bug. It's been a while since I have puked and I had forgotten how unpleasant it was.
We had planned to have a party for my daughter's first birthday. The poor girl was sick on the day we had planned, so we rescheduled it. The day we rescheduled it to was the day I was sick, so we just ended up cancelling her birthday. (We did get her a cupcake from Crave and put a sparker in it for a mini family ceremony).
After that we did the funeral circuit, then back to work. My wife is also back at work part time now. We have each Grandma take our little girl for one day per week and I have her alone on Sundays. So far it's been going pretty well.
We've also made a change to the sleeping arrangement. My daughter has been waking up like 5 times per night to nurse. As mentioned previously, we all sleep together in one bed. We think that a big reason why she wakes up is because my wife's boob is right there. We decided to have my wife sleep in the other bedroom for a while and I sleep in the bed alone with my daughter. That way someone will be there to comfort her when she wakes, but there is no boob for her to actually feed on. Eventually, she will realize there is no reason to wake up, and we'll all have a wonderful sleep. That's the plan anyways.
I've done 3 nights alone so far. The first 2 went really well. She would wake up as normal (about 5 times), but I could just rub her back or squeeze her foot and she would go back to sleep in a couple minutes. Last night also went pretty well, but around 6:00am she wouldn't stop crying and my wife came in from the other room to take over and nurse.
I'm feeling a little tired from the night duty, but it's not too bad. It seems like a pretty good plan to me, so I hope it works out for us. Between the night duty and daddy-daughter Sundays, I can definitely feel a stronger bond between my daughter and I. It feels really good.
On the dating front, I mentioned in my last entry that I had placed that on hold for a bit. It is still on hold. I just don't have the energy for it right now. I don't think I have the time for it either, although maybe I could make things work. I need to get used to our new schedule now that my wife is back at work and reassess. My wife and I are both pretty tired from the day-to-day and because of that, our sex life is not that great. It's not quite dead bedroom levels, but it would be within spitting distance. It's not my wife's fault. I'm tired too. Most nights I just don't have the energy and I would prefer to spend an hour just sitting on the couch.
Because of the missing intimacy, I really want to start dating again. I would love to have someone that I can spend a few hours with here and there and just be an adult. No baby talk. No baby monitor. No toys strewn all over the floor. I crave the excitement that comes with someone new. That being said, I think I need to improve things between my wife and I first. She's still my best friend, and we are very much in love but since the birth of the baby, the romance part of the relationship has taken a big hit. It feels like my daughter takes everything out of me and at the end of the day, there is nothing left for my wife. I think my wife feels the same. We are just tired. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to keep the romance in a relationship with a baby?
All in all, the Snow family is doing pretty good. I'm really happy that Christmas is over and we are back on a normal schedule. My daughter is growing up and I'm finally feeling a strong connection with her, and aside from the sex/romance life, my wife and I are great.
-- Snow
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday January 15 2018, @08:51PM
The baby should be able to wake up and nurse without causing anybody else to wake up.
Obviously, this means your wife needs to be topless, and the baby has to be right there.
If one of you does happen to wake, minimize the disruption. Lifting your head will get your heart beating faster. Turning on a light will have brain effects related to the sleep cycle. Just help the baby onto the boob without waking the final person, whoever that may be.
(Score: 1, Offtopic) by realDonaldTrump on Monday January 15 2018, @09:26PM
Let me tell you, I'm so lucky to be in "excellent health." Rear Admiral Ronny Jackson, who is a doctor, says I'm in "excellent health." It's not luck. I’ve never taken drugs of any kind, never had a glass of alcohol. Never had a cigarette, never had a cup of coffee. I always tell my kids: no drugs, no alcohol, no cigarettes. If you don’t drink and you don’t do drugs, your children, they are going to have a tremendously enhanced chance of really being successful and having a good life. The world is so tough and it is so competitive that you can’t put yourself, as a child, or even as a parent, if you want that child to be successful, at a disadvantage of letting them drink or letting them take drugs because it is not going to work. They are going to be at a tremendous disadvantage and ultimately they may not recover. I’ve watched people and I study people and I had, in particular, a great tutor on this (my brother Freddy), but I look and I see what it does to people when they lose control, and a lot of times they lose control.
Crooked Hillary said one thing that is so true. She said it takes a village to raise a child. You need help. We keep it down to a minimum. If you have too much help, you don’t get to know your children.
(Score: 3, Informative) by hendrikboom on Tuesday January 16 2018, @02:17AM (1 child)
You take your wife out on a date, after hiring a babysitter. Or you let the babysitter take the children out somewhere. Use the same babysitter often, so the children get to know her. But make sure the children are comfortable with the babysitter. Change babysitters if necessary.
(Score: 1) by Provocateur on Thursday February 22 2018, @12:12AM
I'm with you on this; the babysitter ought to be a familiar facet with a t, of a tight family. For the health of your relationship,I might add. And I would think, dating or having an uninterrupted conversation about anything becomes normal once again.
(Score: 1) by jshmlr on Tuesday January 16 2018, @12:41PM
I'm sorry your holidays were tough. Trust me, we've all been there. I think one of the best things you can do with your wife is communicate and coordinate. Yep, you're both tired, but working together you can find ways to cope. I think the babysitter is a good idea, or ask one of the grandparents to keep them a little later and use the time to work on the relationship. The key is to work on it as a team.
Need nothing, then see what happens.