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turgid (4318)

turgid
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Journal of turgid (4318)

The Fine Print: The following are owned by whoever posted them. We are not responsible for them in any way.
Saturday December 18, 21
03:29 PM
/dev/random

You must remember the old joke about the electron who was stopped for speeding. The policeman said to him, "Sir, do you know how fast you were driving?"

"No," replies the electron.

"You were driving at precisely 100 miles per hour, sir."

Despondently the electron retorts, "Great, now I'm lost."

I was explaining that joke to Turgid jr. recently. When he was much younger, he just thought it was funny because an electron driving a car would be funny.

I said to him that he should ask his Religious Education teacher whether God knows the positions and momenta of all particles in the universe. His RE teacher is also his science teacher.

This should be interesting.

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The Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not responsible for them in any way.
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  • (Score: 2) by Mojibake Tengu on Saturday December 18 2021, @04:39PM (6 children)

    by Mojibake Tengu (8598) on Saturday December 18 2021, @04:39PM (#1206163) Journal

    I just think that was funny because electron was talking.
    Usually, electrons do not talk. Not even to policemen...
    I know that feeling.

    --
    The edge of 太玄 cannot be defined, for it is beyond every aspect of design
    • (Score: 2) by turgid on Saturday December 18 2021, @05:50PM (4 children)

      by turgid (4318) Subscriber Badge on Saturday December 18 2021, @05:50PM (#1206173) Journal

      A talking electron is indeed hilarious.

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday December 19 2021, @01:16AM (2 children)

        by Anonymous Coward on Sunday December 19 2021, @01:16AM (#1206271)

        Why does an electron drive with those little bitty steering wheels?

        So he can drive with handcuffs on, man...

        • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday December 19 2021, @11:55AM (1 child)

          by Anonymous Coward on Sunday December 19 2021, @11:55AM (#1206337)

          Is that a cultural reference?

          • (Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday December 21 2021, @10:34PM

            by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday December 21 2021, @10:34PM (#1206968)

            Yeah, if you see Cheech and Chong as "culture"...

      • (Score: 1) by pTamok on Tuesday April 19 2022, @02:44PM

        by pTamok (3042) on Tuesday April 19 2022, @02:44PM (#1238170)

        A talking electron is indeed hilarious.

        That reminds me of the joke about the boy and the talking frog.

        Boy out walking discovers and captures a frog. It turns out it can talk, and says, "Please kiss me! I'll turn into a Princess, and I will repay you with your weight in gold".

        "Nope.", says the boy.

        "Oh!", says the frog/princess, "How about 10 times your weight in gold?"

        "Nope.", says the boy.

        The frog/princess is getting worried now and tries adding in rubies and emeralds, and other material inducements, to all of which the boy says, "Nope."

        Finally in complete desperation, wanting to escape her froggy form she offers to marry the boy so he will inherit her father's kingdom.

        "Nope." says the boy.

        "Why not?", she cries.

        "Well,", the boy says, "if I kiss you, you'll turn into a girl, and I don't like girls; but a talking frog is something worth having!"

    • (Score: 2) by mhajicek on Monday January 17 2022, @05:22PM

      by mhajicek (51) Subscriber Badge on Monday January 17 2022, @05:22PM (#1213420)

      No one should talk to a policeman.

      --
      The spacelike surfaces of time foliations can have a cusp at the surface of discontinuity. - P. Hajicek
  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday December 19 2021, @03:29AM (3 children)

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday December 19 2021, @03:29AM (#1206292)

    why wouldn't yahweh know such things?

    later on when farther down the christian fascist rabbit hole, the yahweh cultists will claim that being unable to know the position and momentum is because scientists are decadent soy boys, weakling and incompetent men. we would have warp drive if not for their failures

    only the sword-tongue of the final form of MAN JEEBUS will kill the inferior SJW scientists and end their reign of covid terror, preparing the way for the NEW JERUSALEM to land on the THIRD TEMPLE

    • (Score: 2) by turgid on Sunday December 19 2021, @11:55AM

      by turgid (4318) Subscriber Badge on Sunday December 19 2021, @11:55AM (#1206336) Journal

      If the Good Lord had wanted us to worry, he would have given us something to worry about [theguardian.com].

      Thwaites makes Larsen B look like an icicle. It is roughly 100 times larger, about the size of Britain, and contains enough water on its own to raise sea levels worldwide by more than half a metre. It contributes about 4% of annual global sea level rise and has been called the most important glacier in the world, even the “doomsday” glacier. Satellite studies show it is melting far faster than it did in the 1990s.

    • (Score: 3, Insightful) by nostyle on Sunday December 19 2021, @04:19PM

      by nostyle (11497) on Sunday December 19 2021, @04:19PM (#1206374) Journal

      Whenever I measure, I am always here (x = 0), but I am uncertain where here is (delta-x = infinity).

      Whenever I look, I seem to be going nowhere (p = 0), but I am uncertain of the momentum of the hand-basket I am in. (delta-p = infinity).

      Thus my state is perfectly defined.

      --

      Both East and West belong to Allah, so wherever you turn, the Face of Allah is there. Allah is All-Encompassing, All-Knowing.

      -Qur'an, 2:115 (Bewley translation)

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday December 19 2021, @07:28PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Sunday December 19 2021, @07:28PM (#1206451)

      Mᴀɴ Jᴇᴇʙᴜs... Nᴇᴡ Jᴇʀᴜsᴀʟᴇᴍ... Tʜɪʀᴅ Tᴇᴍᴘʟᴇ

      FTFMe, because fuck regular 7-bit text, this needs to be done properly

  • (Score: 3, Funny) by DannyB on Monday December 20 2021, @03:07PM

    by DannyB (5839) Subscriber Badge on Monday December 20 2021, @03:07PM (#1206641) Journal

    Proposition sixty nine factorial is to eliminate discrimination against the few anti electrons that go the other way and have a positive charge (positrons). Or maybe they are electrons going backward in time, but who could actually know for sure? The Religious Education / Science teacher could ask God to stop the simulation and check, and then email us the answer.

    Just be careful not to commit "scientific heresy" (which I first heard about in the 1968 movie Planet Of The Apes).

    The policeman could stop a fellow trans sistor for speeding. Then after catching an odor from the vehicle inform the driver: "excuse me, I may be biased, but I think you are a bit saturated. You should conduct yourself in this way. I would even say you are hard saturated.".

    --
    Young people won't believe you if you say you used to get Netflix by US Postal Mail.
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