from the why-would-you-have-a-vhost-available-on-the-internet? dept.
Vulnerability in VMware product has severity rating of 9.8 out of 10:
Data centers around the world have a new concern to contend with—a remote code vulnerability in a widely used VMware product.
The security flaw, which VMware disclosed and patched on Tuesday, resides in the vCenter Server, a tool used for managing virtualization in large data centers. vCenter Server is used to administer VMware's vSphere and ESXi host products, which by some rankings are the first and second most popular virtualization solutions on the market. Enlyft, a site that provides business intelligence, shows that more than 43,000 organizations use vSphere.
[...] "The vSphere Client (HTML5) contains a remote code execution vulnerability due to lack of input validation in the Virtual SAN Health Check plug-in, which is enabled by default in vCenter Server," Tuesday's advisory stated. "VMware has evaluated the severity of this issue to be in the Critical severity range with a maximum CVSSv3 base score of 9.8... A malicious actor with network access to port 443 may exploit this issue to execute commands with unrestricted privileges on the underlying operating system that hosts vCenter Server."
(Score: 2) by DannyB on Thursday May 27 2021, @03:28PM (1 child)
That sounds bad. Very bad.
Hopefully people who operate at large scale have other controls that might limit malicious actors, and might limit network access to ports of important servers, and might limit malicious actors' access to such ports.
There could be internal malicious actors already within the organization. But you would think they would consider that well in advance.
There could be malicious actors who, through other means, gain access to internal networks, possibly through a chain of exploited systems. But hopefully there would be means of detecting (or preventing) such unauthorized access. And unexpected connections.
The server will be down for replacement of vacuum tubes, belts, worn parts and lubrication of gears and bearings.
(Score: 2) by VLM on Thursday May 27 2021, @05:57PM
Ironically vmware sells a rather expensive addon called NSX which is specifically designed to do all this microsegmentation stuff you're suggesting.
This is not all it does nor is this how it works, but imagine as a thought experiment that you keep adding more and more features to the virtual simulated LAN card until eventually every simulated LAN card has its own individual very full featured firewall with IDS and a complicated centrally managed MPLS networking system. I don't mean install pfsense in a VM, I mean every emulated ethernet port has something like its own personal pfsense plus some IDS plus some logging and other stuff. NSX is cool but too expensive for most. Also its a little mind boggling at first.
In my experience with NSX, IT dept aggressively locks down until they cause a very expensive sometimes long term outage, then the execs decide microsegmentation is a bit too expensive to implement in practice.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Thursday May 27 2021, @03:38PM (106 children)
So, I'm a guy who sells VMware solutions and vSAN solutions, including things like VCF and VxRail. Yes, it's a 9.8 - very serious bug, that lets you get access to... The server hosting the GUI. For that server, it's a bad hacker entry point, and you get root on that server. What does that actually get the hacker? About as much as a compromised laptop that someone brings to work physically or over a work VPN. So nothing.
First, not a lot of people use vSAN, although that's changing. Most VMW runs on a SAN. vSAN is used mostly for HCI, such as VxRain, or standalone vSAN Nodes. Those very rarely run production - vSAN has neither the performance nor the reliability needed for anything critical - so it's test/dev.
>Center is a virtualization management software,” he said in an interview. “If you hack it, you control the virtualization layer (e.g., VMware ESXi
Which is false. You control the server that gives you your web GUI, which itself can be a VM that's virtualized on a host. All that host does is serve up the GUI. You do not control ESX running on any of the hosts, which are running your servers.
That's forgetting the fact that to even get to vCenter, you need to be on an admin vLAN inside the corp network.
So yes, serious bug, very real very hackable admin path. To a server that is not a huge deal to get hacked. Same amount of danger as your work laptop getting hacked. while you're sitting at your desk. at the office.
(Score: 4, Informative) by VLM on Thursday May 27 2021, @05:51PM (105 children)
I'm a guy who runs that stuff...
Oh come on, it works fine. As good as or better than something like freenas and certainly better integrated. The only problem vSAN has is the absolutely insane $5K price.
You'd be surprised probably 99% of vmware wranglers including the "high level" VCP holders have no idea what to do with root, but you got root on vcenter you indirectly have root over the entire system including all the ESXi hosts and all the VMs running on them. I will say you "practically never" manually control your system using shell commands but you sure can! In practice anyone wanting to progamatigally mess with their cluster uses the Orchestrator product or directly messes with the web APIs.
Yeah every published guide from vmware at least since the old 5.0 days has been read by me and goes into great detail about how the only correct way to install vcenter is on a dedicated locked down firewalled admin vlan.
I'll let you in on a secret that I've never actually seen that at a client site. Everyone just puts it on their internal lan and hopes the VPN and dev sites have full access. Part of the problem is the darn thing's list of used ports is like 200 ports in total so you may as well permit all ports. Could IP limit it which inevitably means you'll find a way to lock out. Also vsphere highly markets ultra-fine-grained access control so at one company as a dev role I had more than root access to my VMs but I could not see other department's VMs at all nor could I mess with LAG network groups or vmknics or nonsense like that so there's a business argument for anyone in a vaguely IT or engineering role having access (CAN you lock out accounting and the execs ip ranges if you market something like Ops Mgr product to them?)
Everything's gonna be done on one huge-ass do it all server as an architecture means you can't just firewall off all access to the vSAN Health Check plug-in system. Its, uh, not a microservices architecture LOL very windows like even though photon and the vcenter appliance are linux now.
Admittedly I've never met a client insane enough to put vcenter on a public IP address. From that perspective you only have to worry about internal threats, and anyone who powns anything that VPNs in, and anyone who powns any IoT shite on the network, which sounds bad.
I wonder how it works with high availability. The hack, I mean. I suppose you'd have full read access to everything of course. But try to do something ridiculous to one of the HA clones and you'll just initiate failover to a clone? Admittedly you can hack and knock out the high availability clones until the system runs out of clones, sort of a DOS? I suppose do something not ridiculous to one of the HA clones and failover won't be triggered, even if "not ridiculous" is commanding it to erase everything or randomize the vlan numbers or some nonsense.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by VLM on Thursday May 27 2021, @06:12PM
I hate to reply to myself but:
Here's what happens, as I imagine it. "Normally" you connect your vcenter to active directory so someone else can manage who's in the "vmware admins group" or "enterprise admin group" in AD, and everyone in the group can SSO into vcenter rather than running local users inside vcenter. I've never seen anyone deploy it another way... Normally nobody logs in as administrator@vsphere.local after the first five minutes of setting up vcenter. But you can't just delete the local user accounts because you need a way to log in and fix the active directory connection or even funnier you're running your primary domain controllers on vsphere so if they're down you can't even log in using the AD accounts to bring the PDC up and would have to use the local root "administrator@vsphere.local" account. Bonus points if you've ever downed your PDCs such that nobody can log in via VPN and nobody can log into PCs so fixing the PDC and its backups can be challenging. Anyway on vcenter there's also a unix "root" who is used on the appliance management interface which is kind of like NIH "webmin" created by vmware for controlling photon/linux based appliances. So you got linux/photon unix-like local auth for root, a SSO vsphere.local for vmware use, and connections to active directory for your doman for day to day.
Anyway once you get remote root via the web page, you remotely run the commands to change the password for administrator@vsphere.local from "something secure and secret" to "password". There are of course password requirements which can be imposed and of course they can be eliminated or bypassed if you have root LOL. Anyway nobody logs in as administrator unless active directory SSO is down, so don't shut it down, and you can log in as administrator using your new password and nobody will notice the new password for weeks/months/years. Now that you can log in as administrator into the web GUI you have total control of the entire system and all the VMs underneath it. Eventually someone will notice the corporate standard root password no longer works or you'll do something dumb and knock the system down, but until then you have total control of the system.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Thursday May 27 2021, @06:19PM (103 children)
I deal with large enterprise, medical, and government. I am talking about systems that run the country, not mom n pop's popcorn shop on the corner.
>absolutely insane $5K price
The last quote I did was vSAN on a VCF Rail cluster. The vSAN cost was over $300k, after a 75% discount.
>freenas
I don't know what that is. Is it something you run on your linksys router? If you're using freenas, you should not be using VMware - you're not the target audience for ESX.
>Oh come on, it works fine
Not when your systems are a bank or trading floor, or a hospital system. Because someone can die, you can get fined over $1mil per minute of downtime, or lose billions of dollars when Visa, the credit card, stops being accepted for half an hour, in the entire country and you impact 200mil people.
>dedicated locked down firewalled admin vlan.
it seems to me that in the environment you're talking about, your firewall is built into your comcast wifi router, and a vlan is provided by an old laptop with two network cards. I'm talking about $2mil UCS clusters with 2k cores, doing 20mil IO/s.
>do something ridiculous to one of the HA clones and you'll just initiate failover to a clone
Again, that's not the way things work. You have a metro cluster, 2 storage arrays with an active/active FC link between them, running SRDF/Metro, and they are write-enabled on both sides. There is no such thing as an HA clone. Each ESX cluster sees its own storage array, but the two disks presented to them look like extra paths to the same disk, because on both sides, the LUN WWN (datastore) are the same. Well, there is on your old laptop running your firewall in VMW Player, you might have an HA clone.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday May 27 2021, @09:16PM (102 children)
LOL. If you are going to lie about what you do for a living, it usually helps to keep your story straight.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Friday May 28 2021, @02:46AM (98 children)
Presales engineer selling storage and compute, do some implementation work maybe 20% of the time. If you're going to read the same thing I've been writing here for years, and it seems like different stories to you, it usually helps to take the pills prescribed to you by your doctor. You conspiracy theory autist, and my personal clown.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday May 28 2021, @04:36AM (97 children)
Cool story bro.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Friday May 28 2021, @05:24AM (96 children)
When someone's quite normal and average life sounds cool and too amazing to be true, what it means is you live in absolute sad shit, and are a complete loser. "bro" - the aged adult autistic retard that copies edgy expressions of 14yo reddit teens.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday May 28 2021, @06:07AM (95 children)
Keep edging me. Better grab your robe and wizard hat, I'm almost there.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Friday May 28 2021, @06:25AM (94 children)
umm, sure. you know this language you're speaking right now? no one normal understands what you're saying, nor do we bother to figure it out. we just laugh while looking in the werido's direction, say a couple of quiet things to each other, then keep walking. all those people around you when you're in public - yes, they're all looking at you, and they're all talking about you - the weird social reject.
that is your only purpose on the planet. to entertain the normal people. now sing us a little song on every post.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday May 28 2021, @06:57AM (93 children)
Yeah, that's the spot. Troll me harder, daddy. Who is your daddy and what does he do? Such a fun game to play.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Friday May 28 2021, @07:38AM (92 children)
I see, an aging man with the mind and language of a teenage social reject is pretending to playing a game, where in response to comments demeaning and making of him, he gets off sexually. This is about what I was expecting - an ugly weird incel teen who aged instead of growing up.
There's no game. I'm on this website so people like you say what you say. The visible demonstration that right now, someone has your ridiculous and sad life, brings me entertainment and smiles as you serve your purpose. Enjoy your porn.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday May 28 2021, @09:39AM (91 children)
Hurrah, now we are both having fun. Serious is as serious does so you better eat the box of chocolates. Tell me about siphons again, Senpai.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday May 28 2021, @05:39PM
showed this to my coworker (we are quite old), then let him know there are only older people on this site. the results were hilarious.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Friday May 28 2021, @07:28PM (89 children)
Siphons: a normal person knows what a siphon is. A normal person does not know what a Senpai is. You, thinking pretending to be a teenage incel is somehow a flex, know the terms and vernacular of a teenage incel.
Let me explain this to you, since you're slow. There's goat fucker porn. There are goat fucker porn terms. You somehow know all the goat fucker porn terms, and are able to pretend, very convincingly to be a goatfucker. The only way you would be a convincing goat fucker, is if your live was deeply - very deeply - involved with fucking goats. That's not a flex, that's me shitting in your open mouth, and you swallowing the shit thinking that's a comeback.
Here's a hint sherlock. "May I have some more" is not a comeback just because you say it sarcastically. You still got that mouth full of shit. Time to swallow. I'll wash you off with a Senpai. Just going to assume that's a brand of siphon - googling it will likely produce images I dont' care to see - which you are somehow deeply familiar with.
Sarcasm is the tool of an edgy teen. Saying stuff that's just weird and strange, with sarcasm, does not make an insult. It just makes you a weird creepy incel. Which is even more weird, knowing this site only has adults over 40. We got a 40+yo, who has the skills to perfectly emulate a zit covered highschool social reject. Not a skill people usually have.
I really want to know - how much porn do you, an adult with lots of wrinkles, watch? Is it daily? Is it several times a day? Do you jack off to cartoon porn? When you are out in public, do you secretly stare down women? Do you have issues even looking a woman in the face, because you can't picture them as human beings? You should know that she knows. Everyone knows. Time to hang that sheet over your window so the sun doesn't come in.
The thing with your one liner comebacks - they're completely generic - might as well be cutting and pasting random sentences from a newspaper, then declaring they're funny. The Will Ferrel school of comedy. Awkward, out of place, and weird, is not funny nor insulting. You pretending it is, is what makes it funny. By your age, even the biggest losers realize people are laughing at them, not with them, and at least go off and marry some ugly fat girl. It's quite the gem to find an adult acting like an incel though, on a forum with a bunch of old people.
Yes, I know you're going to come back with a generic one liner from some niceguys subreddit, I know that half a page of text takes you 2 minutes to read instead of the normal 30 seconds, so you didn't even get this far down. I also know that me shitting on you, is not for you to read. It's for all the people who laugh at you daily to read. Because you're an ugly loner old man, pretending to be the cool fratboy you were jealous of, pretending to be a highschool incel. And everyone reading knows that, and that makes you tonight's involuntary entertainment. Now go on, tell us more about masturbation - it seems to be your area of expertise.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday May 28 2021, @09:15PM (88 children)
TL;DR: Yawn.
People get the effort they deserve. But you only get one ride on the carousel and if you aren't having fun, you might as well get off.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Friday May 28 2021, @11:40PM (85 children)
I am having fun. Literally here to have fun. You are providing the fun. I have fun shitting on autistic people, and other disabled people, and life's losers. That's you. In the real world, that's not socially appropriate, so we ignore people like you and keep walking. On this forum though, I can keep pointing out that your are an autistic social reject, you type more things, which show that you are an autistic social reject, and I have fun and feel great. Mostly feel great, because I don't have the autism like you. No one can really feel great when they have autistm.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday May 29 2021, @01:20AM (84 children)
Around and around and around. Another one goes down the drain. Better not drown.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Saturday May 29 2021, @07:11AM (81 children)
Brilliant comeback. Now insult me some more by telling the world how much cartoon porn you watch.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday May 29 2021, @09:53PM (80 children)
Hentai isn't cartoons, mom! You'll never like me like waifu.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Sunday May 30 2021, @08:16AM (79 children)
Ah, and here I am, like normal people, who knows neither what hentai means, nor what waifu means. I also don't know the terminology of goat fucking. It would however be less embarrassing to know redneck goat fucker terminology, than incel cartoon masturbation terminology. Did your mom teach you those words while watching you play with yourself to cartoons? Must have been a rough childhood for you - I guess it explains why you're an adult incel.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday May 30 2021, @10:38AM (78 children)
But I heard you liek mudkips. I'd better break the news to John Mulaney, if he hasn't learned what's new from the pussycats.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Sunday May 30 2021, @10:52AM (75 children)
And I heard you Lick mudkips. John Mulaney's mudkips. How's that autism going? Did you get it all out of your body by continuously draining it from your peepee?
I swear this is like fighting with a little kid who keeps punching himself in the face and going "aha! take that!" What's more entertaining, is knowing you are an adult over 40.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday May 31 2021, @02:10AM (74 children)
We all know the watermelon sugar gets you wetter than an otter's pockets.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Monday May 31 2021, @03:07AM (73 children)
Holy shit -you are the fedora meme guy. Anime porn lingo, lots of masterbation-theme talk, Tom Jones references, now these old-style gentlemanly exressions. Do you keep your fedora on while you pull on your donkey, m-lady?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday June 01 2021, @02:45AM (72 children)
There are no women on the internet. Just like how no one knows when you are a dog.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Tuesday June 01 2021, @05:06AM (71 children)
that may be true, but have you considered that you have autism, an incurable disease that makes you a disabled person, m-lady?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday June 02 2021, @12:12AM (70 children)
Who is she? Is it Samsung Sam? Or are you catching dynamo feelings?
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Wednesday June 02 2021, @03:27AM (69 children)
She is autism. A defect in your brain that will stay with you and keep you a social outcast, alone, watching porn, till the day you die unhappy and alone. It's not something you can catch. But it is something that makes you eventually commit suicide. She is the only She that you will ever have in your life, and she'll never leave you. She's got two friends with her - anger and depression, but they're guys. They're going to rail you while she watches, every day, till the end. There's nothing you can do.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday June 03 2021, @12:50AM (68 children)
Does the most interesting man in the world know the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? Perhaps we should ask Drake or Forgotten Weapons.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Thursday June 03 2021, @02:03AM (67 children)
It's interesting that someone's very average upper middle class life is to you, the most interesting in the world. Methinks it's because the autism creates a very enclosed little box for you to live in. A box with no sunlight, lots of porn, and Drake of Forgotten Weapons. A reference to something inside your box that, much like your anime masturbation terminology, no normal person would know. The airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow is autism. Your autism, keeping you inside that box, knowing you will never have the skills, confidence, or ability to leave it. The velocity of an unladen swallow, is the velocity of you towards suicide from loneliness and rejection by the society that is around you. On your way down, you provide us with laughter. Laughter at the weird autistic guy.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday June 04 2021, @02:24AM (66 children)
It's like Ryan Tannehill swiping with his nose while watching the 30 Second Rice Bowl challenge.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Friday June 04 2021, @03:58AM (65 children)
Don't know who Ryan is, not sure what the rice bowl is, but it's safe to assume you're still talking about how you like to masturbate to cartoons.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday June 05 2021, @12:17AM (64 children)
Just the everyday life of a bicycle cop and his cheeseburger. He was truly ahead of his time.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Saturday June 05 2021, @01:23AM (63 children)
Just the everyday autist keeping a tab open and hitting refresh, just to respond with random garbage, because it's self-proclaimed "funny." much like watching a social reject in an anime tshirt fight a bully by punching random air, it is indeed very funny. thank you for providing the entertainment. you are very funny, and a lot of fun to have around.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 06 2021, @01:06AM (62 children)
Natasha Lyonne Clapping and Majestic Thorin in an Orbit gum commercial. Now that is real entertainment!
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Sunday June 06 2021, @02:01AM (61 children)
Nah, the only thing I know from that list is Orbit gum. Random names and words I'm unfamiliar with aren't funny to me, or anyone else. I'm gonna stick with shitting in your mouth and laughing as you say random things while trying to swallow. I'm also pretty sure those things aren't real entertainment to you either though, since you've proudly declared your love of touching yourself to japanese cartoons.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 07 2021, @12:18AM (60 children)
It is a daily struggle to choose which button to push. Blame John if you think it is too radioactive.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Monday June 07 2021, @12:36AM (57 children)
Is john the name of your penis, and the two buttons are on pornhub - octopus cartoons and girl with penis cartoons? I get that. I understand your struggle. It is painful to be an incel. On the bright side, everyone laughs at you, so you bring the world laughter.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday June 08 2021, @02:14AM (56 children)
You should go to MineCon. You can hand out your business card as soon as you hear the National Anthem.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Tuesday June 08 2021, @05:45AM (54 children)
Actually, I should learn what MineCon is. You see, like all normal people (not you), I don't know the terms and references you use. Which would be fine, if you were an unpopular teenager. But very sad for an incel adult. On the other hand, nah - why learn your incel terminology, when I can just shit on you some more, and for your comeback you can talk about the glory of touching yourself to cartoons, and how fun for you is telling people about it online.
I do know what the national anthem is. It's what they played before our team shoved you into a locker a long time ago in highschool - something so stressful for you, it caused you to never grow up while your body aged.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday June 09 2021, @03:52AM (53 children)
Maybe cross over the garden wall or tell your boyfriend that he looks like he can't swim. Maybe then the guilty pleasure of knowing will come.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday June 09 2021, @04:52AM (2 children)
Nice poem there. Very soft and romantic. Is that how you get yourself in the mood to play with your peepee four times a day? By writing yourself poetry, talking about your attraction to cartoons online, then logging in to your paid pornhub account, and clicking the trans cartoon section? Tell us -after so much porn, are you still able to look women in the eyes when you talk, or are you too nervous, because they know what you do all day, just by looking in yiur direction? Were you ever, in your whole life, able to have a single conversation with a woman?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday June 09 2021, @11:50PM (1 child)
yes, but have you considered that the social reject has nothing better to do than spend several hours writing a script to post random text, which he spent several hours pretyping? you know, because that's even more 'fun' than talking about masturbation.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Thursday June 10 2021, @01:37AM
Riiiiiight. A guy who sees me talking about vmw, then goes "gotcha you liar - you've said you do storage and compute, now you say you work w/ VMware." He doesn't know what vmw is - this douche operate an iphone, and pulls up pornhub in chrome - he does not have the brain capacity to write a script. Also, you talk about masturbation more than the reject here, so pot-kettle buddy. It's wacking to cartoons - we're making fun of him for that - don't lose your dangdong focus. Or I'll remove you from sudoers, you ancient hairy fuck.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Wednesday June 09 2021, @04:41PM (48 children)
Ah look, you wrote me a little haiku and steered the conversation towards being gay. I had a friend like that in school 25 years ago. He was such a loser incel, that no girl would talk to him, because he was a creepy weirdy, and quite ugly. He eventually started fucking dudes after years of lack of sex. Tell us, when you're wiping your ass after a shit, do you ever wipe the hole extra well, because it feels good? When you watch your porn 4x per day, does at least one of those videos have a tranny? I bet it does.
The enjoyment of this conversation comes from knowing every time you reply, that you are still there. And you life - well just knowing you have had to get through another painful lonely day - it brings me physical pleasure. I'd like you to write me another haiku about being gay please. Perhaps also incorporate your masturbation, and your cartoons into it. You have fun doing things like that, so it should be fun for you.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday June 10 2021, @02:40AM (47 children)
I might go platinum like Taylor Swift. Or is his name Alex?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday June 10 2021, @03:28AM
you might. but what you'll actually do is live rejected by society, happiness, and by any semblance of a normal life. then you will die. and no one will even know you lived. is alex your favorite tranny from pornhub? how much do you spend per month on his videos?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday June 10 2021, @04:45AM (2 children)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xvhEu7BSiUs [youtube.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday June 11 2021, @05:05AM (1 child)
you killed him jman. dis lil faghog be ded layin da floor in a poola cum
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Friday June 11 2021, @05:36AM
A fathog calling out a faghog. Faghog might not be keeping a tab open and instead checks my post history daily to reply. I'm so honored by the attention, but got no energy to come up w smart insults after the usc fi bullshit today. fuckng cables didn't match the fc port descriptions, had to trace one all the way down, and a fan in my face and ac up my ass half the day. Ima roast him on a spit after some zzs doe if he aint offed himself yet. l8r beeyatch.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday June 11 2021, @07:01PM (2 children)
Yo fedo-boy, we wanna knw if you ded. Watup wigga? You ded or just on a master baiter fishing weekend with your cartoon guy-buddy Alex? Alex says write us another haiku.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday June 11 2021, @07:53PM (1 child)
A 38 year old man wearing a fedora was found dead in his basement. The windows were covered with a towel, and his hand was stuck to his penis with some kind of white glue. Cause of death is a burst vein in the penis. The coroner has determined that once the vein burst, the man continued masturbation for 2 hours while blood drained from his body. Rubber dolls and posters of Japanese tranny porn were found covering the walls.
He ded.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Friday June 11 2021, @10:22PM
The funny thing is, this guy can actually be quite dead. Those suicidal thoughts you get once a year and brush them off as a joke - people like him get it daily. It's a never-ending, unwinnable fight, just to stay alive. The dude probably spends several hours a day sitting there thinking about whether or not he should end it all. At some point things align - forgets to take his autism meds in the morning, if forced to go to the dmv to renew his license, some teenage girls on the street keep looking at him and laughing at the ugly creepy weirdo, he sweats and freaks out around all those people (they can hear me breathing!).... And bam, it's all over. Every day is Russian Roulette for 3 bad things aligning. And gentlemen, I am proud to contribute one of those 3 necessary thing. If you see a loser out in public - it's your job to let him know he is one, and should not venture outside. Those who do - we'll give them a tappa-tappa-to the underground.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Friday June 11 2021, @07:56PM (39 children)
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(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday June 12 2021, @12:54AM (38 children)
You need to cut your Moana Marijuana cake with Joe Biden's liquid sword so you can enjoy it with Quilty the Cat.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Saturday June 12 2021, @12:59AM (35 children)
Yes! He's alive. We thought you offed yourself after being missing in action for a day there. Glad to have you back stuppy. You shouldn't have sex with your Cat though. I know it gets lonely, looking the way you look, but even the cat doesn't want it from you - you're raping an animal.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Saturday June 12 2021, @01:31AM
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(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 13 2021, @02:08AM (33 children)
Is this a pigeon? The chinese gundam issued an earthquake warning.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Sunday June 13 2021, @03:06AM (31 children)
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(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Sunday June 13 2021, @03:09AM
a j s a n
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 14 2021, @03:27AM (29 children)
OMG! Brotherman Bill is doing Captain Freedome's Workout.
(Score: 1) by fakefuck39 on Monday June 14 2021, @08:01PM (28 children)
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(Score: 1) by fakefuck39 on Monday June 14 2021, @08:04PM
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(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday June 15 2021, @02:19AM (26 children)
There is a Fair Use controversy on YouTube thanks to a poker game with toilet paper in an evil building.
(Score: 1) by fakefuck39 on Tuesday June 15 2021, @02:27PM (25 children)
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(Score: 1) by fakefuck39 on Tuesday June 15 2021, @03:11PM
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(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday June 16 2021, @02:42AM (23 children)
867-5309 Call me, maybe or Oreimo.
(Score: 1) by fakefuck39 on Wednesday June 16 2021, @07:04PM (22 children)
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(Score: 1) by fakefuck39 on Wednesday June 16 2021, @07:15PM
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(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday June 17 2021, @02:51AM (20 children)
Smithers is scared of strippers because Joel Bauer is his foe.
(Score: 1) by fakefuck39 on Thursday June 17 2021, @09:17PM (19 children)
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(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday June 18 2021, @02:09AM (18 children)
Depending on the context, I'm being repressed. Help! Help, Cirno!
(Score: 1) by fakefuck39 on Friday June 18 2021, @10:33PM (17 children)
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(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday June 19 2021, @02:35AM (16 children)
One of the Things That Leave Britain Reeling is that the King of Random has a need for speed.
(Score: 1) by fakefuck39 on Saturday June 19 2021, @08:03PM (15 children)
-n -u 2 -- ${varlenAl[@]}${varlenNum[@]}
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 20 2021, @02:48AM (14 children)
Surfin' Bird uses no malarkey to save Derpy.
(Score: 1) by fakefuck39 on Sunday June 20 2021, @10:28PM (13 children)
skgyicadhk9337
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 21 2021, @02:34AM (12 children)
Finding out that Sabin suplexing a train was responsible for the 2016 gravitational wave observation confused Mr. Krabs.
(Score: 1) by fakefuck39 on Monday June 21 2021, @07:53PM (11 children)
gamnw64481
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday June 22 2021, @02:40AM (10 children)
I was going to Party Party Party in Rhythm Heaven until I took an arrow to the knee. Too bad you will never be a wizard, Harry.
(Score: 1) by fakefuck39 on Tuesday June 22 2021, @04:53AM (9 children)
dlaveilq81530196
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday June 23 2021, @02:27AM (8 children)
Baldi's Basics in Education and Learning is tweaking its approach to teaching babies how to eat lemons.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Thursday June 24 2021, @12:06AM (7 children)
whjkx583904
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday June 24 2021, @02:06AM (6 children)
A sad keanu knows that the heaviest objects in the universe are not and cannot be volleyball booties.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Thursday June 24 2021, @02:20AM (5 children)
lyzvekdh472
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday June 25 2021, @05:27AM (4 children)
Jerry Springer did the car alarm challenge with Disaster Girl.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Saturday June 26 2021, @12:19AM (3 children)
duwngsd2648237
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday June 26 2021, @04:47AM (2 children)
OwO What is this? The Star Wars opening crawl depicts the evolution of Dance.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Sunday June 27 2021, @01:30AM (1 child)
ohvesf96648
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 27 2021, @03:00AM
Seems like we will soon reach the end. Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night! So long and thanks for all the fish, and the $$$. Mostly the money. At least the Benjamins are good company. Any last wisdom from the Autistic Clown of the East?
Here is mine [youtube.com] Just for you and the 18,640,829 others who have seen it.
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Sunday June 13 2021, @03:11AM
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(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Saturday June 12 2021, @01:42AM
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(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday June 12 2021, @10:13AM
this you?
https://i.redd.it/nuq5wqnrea451.jpg [i.redd.it]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday June 09 2021, @06:00PM
omg this faggot is still at it. hey, got a question for you. can you disclose this info? we'd like to know the number of times you have massaged your penis since the beginning of this conversation - is it over 50 times? second question - how many times have you talked to a woman since your first comment here, who is not a cashier or a telemarketer/service agent/coworker. is it zero? third question - how many times have you masturbated? is it 51? Did you masturbate since you started reading this comment?
don't leave us hanging brah. you proudly declared talking about your fedora and your inceldom on the internet is how you have fun, and there's no point to life unless you're having fun. the way I see it, either you're gonna be answering my questions, or planning your suicide.
forth question. how many times have you thought about suicide? is it more times that you've talked to a "lady"? fifth question. how many times have you masturbated - is it 52?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday June 09 2021, @12:13AM
hey fedora-man. do you eat your own poo? we all think you eat your own poo.
just kidding. the conversation was about boogers. you eat your own boogers. and your own cum.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 07 2021, @07:20AM
so far down in the thread we can't even see your fedora, yet can still smell the cum and dirty socks
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 07 2021, @11:02PM
Dis thread goes deeper than the dildo you shove up your ass while you wack you pull your cocktail wiener to cartoons. Why aren't you telling us about your masturbation anymore? You do it at least 4 times daily. Might as well talk about it 4 times daily. You know - because it's fun for you.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday May 30 2021, @08:56PM
he jacks it to potter and friends, then jacks it to cartoons, now he's sexually abusing cats. this would be funny, in a laugh at the edgelord kind of way, if I didn't know for a fact this site's userbase was old men. in that light, I am very concerned for the cat. after decades of being rejected by society, a teenage creep will grow up with a real cat around his little shriveled dicky.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday May 30 2021, @10:27PM
Harry Potter check.
Anime porn terminology check.
Excessive talk of masturbation check.
Lounge music wordplay check.
Not sure who John Mulaney is, but check.
I have an image of you in my head. You are wearing a fedora. But I get it though - this is the way you have fun. In your fedora. Alone in your basement. In your fedora.
M'lady.
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c9/ba/bd/c9babdb4b572059dcb8e5e80051f458a.jpg [pinimg.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday May 29 2021, @09:19AM
random incel says random things. drowning in your own cum after a round round self-reacharound senpai? why do you feel the need to let the world know about that?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday May 29 2021, @06:39PM
Summary of long stupid thread:
facefuck: The vulnerability in storage (vSAN) and server manager (vSphere) is not that serious
you: aha - got him - you've claimed you do storage and compute, now you're claiming you do storage and compute - liar
fucktruck: I've always claimed to do servers and storage, something something autism
you: Oh yeah, well i like to jack off to harry potter
fakeschmuck: More on your autism
you: Me touching my peepee to japanese porn right now. oh so hot.
fuckfuck: If you know all the esoteric masturbation terminology, you're not pretending - you are.
you: Heya, I'm just having fun here.
The Planet: You have fun by learning incel terminology and pretending to be one?
you: More autism.
We want to know good sir: why do you massage your little cock tail weiner to cartoons, when there is ample video of humans don' it. You do realize this is indicative of a defect in your brain? Like that autism.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday May 29 2021, @12:16AM
you have fun by going online and pretending to be a repulsive teen jacking off to japanese anime? would it not be easier to just not pretend and be yourself - a repulsive adult jacking off to japanese anime?
(Score: 2) by fakefuck39 on Monday May 31 2021, @12:57AM
TL;DR: You masterbate. A lot. And you think it's funny to let everyone know. You are correct.
(Score: 2) by VLM on Friday May 28 2021, @05:45PM (2 children)
His technology comments are technically correct. Completely off topic of the general issue of a security vuln, but there are indeed maybe 100 to 1000 sites around the entire planet set up with that kind of high end stuff.
As for his Interpersonal skills... is he really a saledroid with that kind of behavior as in "he sells"?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday May 29 2021, @02:27AM
You must also be a presales engineer. Apparently that is the only way to make technology comments that sound technically correct.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday May 30 2021, @10:31PM
Most enterprise deployments have vmware set up like this. Millions of companies worldwide. You don't know wtf you are talking about. Stick to installing software on laptops, leave the real world to the people who live in it.