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Sites like Amazon, eBay, and Gumtree (UK online classifieds) sell miniaturized 2G mobile phones with minimal metallic components that can be conveniently stored in the human rectum. UK Member of Parliament, Secretary of State for Justice, and Lord High Chancellor of Great Britain David Lidington wants to put a stop to that:
Justice secretary David Lidington has called on Amazon, eBay and Gumtree to block all sales of miniature mobile phones. These tiny handsets, often less than eight centimetres long, can be bought for £25 online and easily smuggled into prisons. Many are advertised with the slogan "Beat the BOSS," a reference to the Body Orifice Security Scanners (BOSS) used by prison officers to detect knives, firearm components and other small metallic objects. During a speech for the British think tank Reform, Lidington said he had written to all three asking them to take down products clearly intended to "evade detection measures in prison."
"It's pretty clear to me that these miniature phones are being manufactured and sold with the purpose of being smuggled into prisons," he said. "Why after all are they also advertised as being without any metal components?" Lidington said everyone, including retailers, had an interest in tackling organised crime. Miniature phones can be sold for up to £500 in prison, forcing desperate inmates into a lifetime of crippling debt.
Also at Boing Boing.
(Score: 4, Insightful) by WizardFusion on Friday December 22 2017, @12:39PM (18 children)
Why not just install phone jammers in prisons that are highly localised?
(Score: 4, Touché) by c0lo on Friday December 22 2017, @01:15PM (6 children)
Why not pass the burden of policing to the retailers?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0 https://soylentnews.org/~MichaelDavidCrawford
(Score: 3, Interesting) by fyngyrz on Friday December 22 2017, @07:42PM (5 children)
Because it isn't their problem.
Retailers don't put cellphones into prisons.
Prisons let jammers be smuggled into prisoner's hands; they set up a rule, fail (for whatever set of reasons) to enforce it, and so fail to interdict the cellphones.
Jamming is precisely the right answer. If a prisoner can't get a connection, they can smuggle till they're blind, won't do a bit of good, immediate and comprehensive end of problem and hey, no new legal restrictions on people who are not incarcerated. Imagine that!
But hey, sure, go after the higher level freedom (which will not solve the problem, it'll just move it to a black market) and screw with everyone instead of, you know, actually solving the problem. That's the usual path here in the USA, too. "Legislators gotta legislate!"
(Score: 2) by frojack on Friday December 22 2017, @08:07PM
Hmmm, I think you've muddled your facts.
But assuming the obvious, how hard is it to prevent phones from being smuggled in?
This is clearly the failing of (or just as likely the doing of) the guard staff that are letting phones inside.
But why get all worried about it. I the UK, the likelyhood is that the cellphone is full-take monitored, and allowed in by the government on purpose. It is likely that if the guards aren't smuggling them in, the government spy agencies are doing it for them.
No, you are mistaken. I've always had this sig.
(Score: 3, Funny) by c0lo on Friday December 22 2017, @09:50PM (3 children)
Do you (still) believe there's such a thing as a rational politician?
if so, you still waiting for Santa to come down the chimney?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0 https://soylentnews.org/~MichaelDavidCrawford
(Score: 3, Funny) by fyngyrz on Friday December 22 2017, @11:50PM (2 children)
Well, let me ask you this in return: Do you think we ought to encourage them in their irrationality?
(Score: 2) by c0lo on Saturday December 23 2017, @12:07AM (1 child)
Let me retort, then. Do you think they need our encouragement?
---
Here's what I think:
- I never said we need to encourage them (do I really need to use the <sarcasm> tag?)
- it's really hard nowadays to keep them the opposite (ie keep them real, rational), the bastards don't need our encouragement
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0 https://soylentnews.org/~MichaelDavidCrawford
(Score: 2) by fyngyrz on Saturday December 23 2017, @04:24AM
I think they need to lose their positions. But the people think they need to keep them. So there you go.
(Score: 5, Informative) by Runaway1956 on Friday December 22 2017, @01:17PM (1 child)
That's much to simple. You install a jammer, no one is making calls, so the IT guys have little to nothing to do. The guards have less reason/excuse to shake down the cell blocks. And, you can't prosecute the guy you didn't catch because he didn't bother to buy a cell phone because he knew it wouldn't work.
At the same time, I'm thinking, "Streisand!!" I didn't know they made tiny cell phones. Hmmmm - https://boingboing.net/2017/02/27/ring-ring-buttphone.html [boingboing.net] https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/zngpz4/prison-phones-that-go-up-your-bum [vice.com]
Wonder what happens if I do a buttphone search on Amazon and Ebay - Amazon gives me results for butt testing phones, which I didn't know about either. They have some sleek little phone sets, as opposed to the bulky, awkward sets I've seen the telephone people using. Ditto for Ebay. Prison phone returns results for solid steel wall mount phones, such as you might expect prisons to use. Ehhh. American prisoners probably use some other terms, if I knew their lingo, I could probably find them easily enough. Ahhhh, here we go - https://www.ebay.com/itm/2017-Worlds-Smallest-Size-Cell-Phone-Mini-Mobile-Sim-Unlocked-GSM-New/272991373511?hash=item3f8f8dc8c7:m:ms17WoixBCx7FyGmYIXIk_Q [ebay.com]
Phone rings, dude pulls it out, "What? What? Waitaminit, you sound like shit!" Wipes phone down, and tries again.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday December 22 2017, @05:46PM
For some kinky prison roleplay, whether with your conjugal partner, or your homies on the outside? :)
Don't drop the suppository little homie!
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday December 22 2017, @01:17PM
That's a good idea. To make it even better, shrink down the jammer so it can be conveniently stored in the human rectum.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday December 22 2017, @02:57PM (2 children)
They are but many UK prisons are in urban areas. As a result jammers cannot be used as they would interfere with usage outside of the prison. For example see wormwood scrubs: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HM_Prison_Wormwood_Scrubs [wikipedia.org]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday December 22 2017, @03:50PM
Why not block IMEIs from non government favored manufacturers?
Why not intercept the chargers?
(Score: 3, Interesting) by fyngyrz on Friday December 22 2017, @07:47PM
That's the result of too high a power jamming system trying to cover too much area. Lower-power, localized jamming systems can cover only the prison areas where they are needed.
You can jam anything from an inch to a mile. Using the wrong tech will cause problems. So of course, don't do that.
(Score: 2) by Nerdfest on Friday December 22 2017, @03:08PM (1 child)
Just EMP prisoners as they arrive.
(Score: 4, Interesting) by bob_super on Friday December 22 2017, @07:19PM
Given the US tendency to hold people in solitary 23 hours a day, they might as well build prisons in old mine shafts. When you're allowed up the elevator for exercise/sun, the guards are looking so you can't call.
The UK has many mine shafts, but a terrible habit of slightly more humane treatment of prisoners.
(Score: 2) by tangomargarine on Friday December 22 2017, @03:20PM (2 children)
Why not just cavity search every inmate as they come in? They aren't doing that already?
"Is that really true?" "I just spent the last hour telling you to think for yourself! Didn't you hear anything I said?"
(Score: 2) by pendorbound on Friday December 22 2017, @03:34PM
They no doubt are. Problem is guards & other staff can be bribed, visitors can try to sneak them in, etc.
Not saying I agree with trying to ban the sale of something prisons find inconvenient. Finagle forbid they might have to do some work. Searching inmates on entry can only do so much in an environment with so many people entering & exiting on a daily basis.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday December 22 2017, @07:00PM
Probably not a full cavity search unless they suspect something. More likely, bend over and cough.
(Score: 3, Insightful) by c0lo on Friday December 22 2017, @01:28PM (24 children)
Like these [aliexpress.com] ones [aliexpress.com]?
Under $20 S&H included, 75*23*11 mm, some with 4 frequency bands.
I think the Chinese will LOL their ass out if the Lord High Chancellor of Great Britain will ask them to stop selling something.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0 https://soylentnews.org/~MichaelDavidCrawford
(Score: 3, Funny) by looorg on Friday December 22 2017, @01:53PM (20 children)
Overall that is the problem with this legislation idea all together. Lets just assume for the sake of argument that they are designed for "prison" use (even thou they clearly are not). If I was to design an anal-cavity-storage phone it would not look like those things; it would be more rounded with no edges -- unless it's supposed to be ribbed for your pleasure -- simply put more dildo/vibrator like then these flat things. I guess you could design a little case and just put this phone in that is rounded instead, for "easy insert" and extraction.
This legislation will only apply to the UK, the people in prison that need a phone are already crooks so they probably don't give a shit if they have to buy an illegal phone, and smuggle inside prison (also illegal) so they can make more phone calls -- a lot of them is probably to friends and family but some calls will probably be to keep up their illegal activities. So all that this ban would do is just open up another illegal market for ass-phones being smuggled first into the country and then into the prisons.
But as the first poster noted -- Signal jammers. Interestingly enough sold at the exact same places these phones are sold from. Seriously why do they need to go and make all these problems harder then they actually are.
(Score: 4, Interesting) by c0lo on Friday December 22 2017, @02:14PM (11 children)
Chronic lack of imagination, for once.
Nay, interested chronic lack of imagination - if the problem is solved by a technical solution, how can a politician show he's doing something?
Do you remember politician's fallacy [wikipedia.org]?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0 https://soylentnews.org/~MichaelDavidCrawford
(Score: 2) by sgleysti on Friday December 22 2017, @03:39PM
Thank you for linking the politician's fallacy. I have heard this line of logic used unironically before; it's helpful to give it a name.
(Score: 2) by Phoenix666 on Friday December 22 2017, @05:30PM (9 children)
Thanks, also, for putting a name to it. Now I know what to call it when some of our interlocutors claim fascism is the same as socialism:
All cats have four legs.
My dog has four legs.
Therefore my dog is a cat.
Which is exactly what they're doing when they say:
Fascist regimes restrict speech.
Socialist regimes restrict speech.
Therefore, fascist regimes are socialist regimes.
Washington DC delenda est.
(Score: -1, Troll) by Anonymous Coward on Friday December 22 2017, @06:25PM (8 children)
It's more like:
Most dogs have four legs. Most dogs smell like dogs. Most dogs bark. You have an animal with all these attributes. Check the DNA... hey, no surprise, it's a dog!
It's the same with politics. Fascism is a particular kind of socialism. If you have socialism, check a few more attributes to see if it is fascist.
If you don't have socialism, you don't need to check. There is no fascism without socialism. It's like if you don't have an animal, and you are wondering if you might have a dog. No silly, petunias and golf clubs are not animals and thus can't be dogs.
(Score: 3, Informative) by Azuma Hazuki on Friday December 22 2017, @08:01PM (7 children)
No fascism without socialism? Really? Gawd--DAMN, that kind of stupid ought to be excruciatingly painful.
I am "that girl" your mother warned you about...
(Score: 2, Interesting) by Arik on Friday December 22 2017, @09:02PM (6 children)
That's pretty much true. Both historically and logically. Sure you can split a hair and say 'socialism' is the wrong word, better to say both fascism and socialism logically spring from the same root of collectivism, that would be more accurate.
Historically, there is no cause to change the wording at all. Fascist movements uniformly arose in response to (and conscious imitation of) the left-wing socialist movements that they opposed.
It wasn't called the 'National Socialist Workers Party' for nothing.
If laughter is the best medicine, who are the best doctors?
(Score: 3, Insightful) by Azuma Hazuki on Friday December 22 2017, @09:51PM (5 children)
Yes, and North Korea is called the Democratic Peoples' Republic of Korea. What's your point?
You were doing well when you said they spring from the root of collectivism, though that itself still has an earlier starting point, the authoritarian urge. Then you went completely off the rails.
I am "that girl" your mother warned you about...
(Score: 1, Offtopic) by Arik on Friday December 22 2017, @10:22PM (4 children)
The point was that the statement you ridiculed and called "stupid" was factually correct.
"You were doing well when you said they spring from the root of collectivism, though that itself still has an earlier starting point, the authoritarian urge."
And that's you conceding my point.
"Then you went completely off the rails. "
Nope. Then I stopped and hit post.
If laughter is the best medicine, who are the best doctors?
(Score: 2) by dry on Saturday December 23 2017, @04:18AM (3 children)
Do you really believe that you can't have right wing authoritarianism? Especially when the definition of right wing is big government for the aristocracy, with the modern aristocracy being the ultra rich or those pretending to be.
(Score: 2) by Arik on Saturday December 23 2017, @05:50AM (2 children)
I not only did not say anything like that, I *explicitly* contradicted that in what I did say.
If laughter is the best medicine, who are the best doctors?
(Score: 2) by dry on Saturday December 23 2017, @06:14AM (1 child)
My apologies then. Your post was not very clear.
(Score: 2) by Arik on Saturday December 23 2017, @02:29PM
I thought I was clear enough there but I can make it more clear.
Right-wing socialist movements ("fascism" in the popular sense) historically arose in response to (and conscious imitation of) the left-wing socialist movements.
Fascism, modern right wing totalitarian nationalism, was born in the 1920s, in Italy and Germany primarily and then spreading quickly. This is right after 'the Great War' - a catastrophe of martial virtue where over 38 million casualties were suffered in uniform. Large areas of the continent had been laid waste and depopulated, all in response to a single murder.
Italy was on the winning side, and it had still suffered greatly. Germany had, in the end, been utterly defeated, humiliated, and at Versailles, enslaved. Both countries were as a result ripe for change. And in both countries the left-wing socialists, in both their orthodox marxist and social democrat branches, were visibly on the ascent.
BEFORE this, yes, the right wing in Europe had been the haunt of the old aristocracy, the nobility, the professional soldiers, the monarchists. But after WWI, with socialism advancing quickly towards dominance in these countries, some right wingers decided the old ways weren't working and something radically different was required. They founded right wing parties of a sort very different from those that had come before. They consciously went out and crossed the old class barriers and started a consciously socialist, a consciously labor oriented mass movement. And that approach has then spread around the world, with varying degrees of success in different countries.
This is the reason these groups are referred to as 'reactionary.' Their origin is in this reaction to left-wing radicalism.
(I wrote earlier) "It wasn't called the 'National Socialist Workers Party' for nothing."
They picked that name carefully, after a great deal of thought and discussion, and it really tells you exactly what they were about in a nutshell.
If laughter is the best medicine, who are the best doctors?
(Score: 2) by tangomargarine on Friday December 22 2017, @03:17PM (7 children)
What phones are you looking at? These things are totally rounded.
"Is that really true?" "I just spent the last hour telling you to think for yourself! Didn't you hear anything I said?"
(Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Friday December 22 2017, @05:09PM (4 children)
Is it available in brown?
(Score: 2) by fyngyrz on Friday December 22 2017, @07:53PM (3 children)
What kind of brown do you want? Do you want burrito brown? McDonald's Happy Meal brown? Of just meat-and-potatos brown? Our new line of phones comes in a wide range of browns. it's really good shit!
But really, I think most supporters of this legislation just want politician brown-nosing brown.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday December 22 2017, @07:57PM (1 child)
How about a Mr Haney brown?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday December 22 2017, @07:59PM
I meant a "Mr Hankey" brown.
(Score: 2) by etherscythe on Friday December 22 2017, @09:02PM
Zune
"Fake News: anything reported outside of my own personally chosen echo chamber"
(Score: 2) by looorg on Friday December 22 2017, @07:53PM (1 child)
The once linked by the previous poster. I can give you that they are not entirely square but they sure as heck are not round. Slightly rounded corners perhaps but still not round. If I was to carry that thing around in my arse I would prefer it to be round instead of trying to stick a square peg into a round hole.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday December 22 2017, @08:22PM
I have one that would fit comfortably, although I've never tried. Quite a useful little phone. What makes one suspicious is that it has a built-in voice changer - ideal for distant threats? Good luck with keeping it charged.
(Score: 2) by pendorbound on Friday December 22 2017, @04:05PM
The Che cigarette lighter for scale for the second one... No way that was an accidental choice. Well played...
(Score: 3, Informative) by lentilla on Friday December 22 2017, @10:58PM (1 child)
Might be worth remembering the last time the Chinese asked the British to stop selling a highly addictive drug to Chinese people, the British sent more drugs and gunships. See the Opium Wars [wikipedia.org] for more detail.
As part of the settlement to bring an end to hostilities, the Chinese ended up giving up Hong Kong to the British. Perhaps if the British want Chinese to stop selling butt-phones something similar might be in order? Greater Manchester, perhaps?
(Score: 3, Insightful) by c0lo on Saturday December 23 2017, @12:01AM
Stop right there! Do I detect a possible role reversal?
"Past performance is in no way indicative of future results."
If you remember those times (pretty shitty times, weren't they), China didn't have nuclear weapons, nor a Navy or satellites.
I really doubt the Albion can put up the same trick these days, I'd rather bet on the Chinese this time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0 https://soylentnews.org/~MichaelDavidCrawford
(Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Friday December 22 2017, @01:45PM (6 children)
They miniaturized electronics and listening equipment and made them cheap and mass-producible so they could spy on every human being without getting caught all the time. So now they are spying on all of us, all of the time, 1984 style, and cheaper than telescreens.
When they complain of phones being smuggled into prisons, they can shove their complaints right up their asses.
(Score: 4, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Friday December 22 2017, @02:05PM (1 child)
This gives "Butt dialing" a (w)hole new meaning.
(Score: 3, Funny) by Phoenix666 on Friday December 22 2017, @05:32PM
A: Would you quit butt-dialing me?
B: I can't help it--they keep serving us corn.
Washington DC delenda est.
(Score: 2) by DannyB on Friday December 22 2017, @02:52PM (2 children)
What about manufacturers who make tiny phones that are NOT INTENDED for smuggling into prisons?
Just like companies that make crowbars NOT INTENDED for breaking and entering?
Or other companies that make computers NOT INTENDED for posting illegal material, such as uncomplimentary things about the Dear Orange Leader?
When trying to solve a problem don't ask who suffers from the problem, ask who profits from the problem.
(Score: 5, Funny) by Nerdfest on Friday December 22 2017, @03:07PM (1 child)
... I'm guessing those would be the tiny phones covered with spikes.
(Score: 2) by DannyB on Tuesday January 02 2018, @02:17PM
Spikes would seem to make a tiny phone not very useful for most ordinary legitimate purposes unrelated to smuggling.
Tiny phones might be useful for recording police at a constitution free stop, for example.
When trying to solve a problem don't ask who suffers from the problem, ask who profits from the problem.
(Score: 3, Informative) by fyngyrz on Friday December 22 2017, @07:55PM
Orwell was an optimist [fyngyrz.com]
(Score: 5, Insightful) by anotherblackhat on Friday December 22 2017, @04:11PM (4 children)
Drugs are also being brought into prisons.
So clearly, if we outlaw drugs, that will fix the problem.
When ever I see a story like this, it makes me wonder what they're really trying to do.
Maybe they're promoting the idea that prison staff is overworked/underpaid -
though IMO it sounds like they're promoting the idea that they're clueless idiots who can't do their jobs properly.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday December 22 2017, @06:41PM (3 children)
The first obvious solution for phones is signal detection equipment in each cell. The second obvious solution is cells that serve as Faraday cages. Also, there should be no access to electrical wiring, including light bulbs.
Drugs are a tougher problem, though less important. Detect them with trained dogs, pigs, rats, honeybees, and bears.
Currently, a more serious issue is sharp objects. Although a CAT or MRI scan or colonoscopy can find most of them, the real solution is to isolate prisoners from each other. No prisoner should be able to communicate in any way with any person who is charged with a crime or has been convicted of a crime. This includes tapping on the plumbing, screaming, rolling objects out into the hall, dropping objects out a window, etc. Indirect communication needs to be monitored or blocked too, preventing the passing of messages via visitors. When the prisoners are isolated, they can't scheme together and they can't hurt each other.
Guards shouldn't come from the same neighborhoods. Guards should come from families that have no crime; we shouldn't trust a person with no criminal record who comes from a family of criminals. Guards should be recorded at all times to an off-site geographically remote location. Guards should work in pairs. People knowing guard identities should be minimized; guards should be given alternate identities for their workplace.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday December 22 2017, @07:05PM
With no electricity, there's no way to sell prisoners stupidly expensive tvs and music players for the duration of their stay.
(Score: 2) by All Your Lawn Are Belong To Us on Friday December 22 2017, @07:33PM
Yes, but all that spends even more money. It's ever so much easier for a government to ask a business to stop selling stuff. (Which won't work, either, as somebody else will sell it and those who want it will find out). The interesting question is if $politician knows all this already and is just going through motions.
This sig for rent.
(Score: 2) by fyngyrz on Friday December 22 2017, @07:59PM
Yes, this, and make sure they have human contact, but at a physical distance, with the keepers so this isn't essentially the same as solitary.
Costly, but correct. This solves many problems all at one go.
And a big plus, it routes lots of tax money to the prison-for-profit system, so it'd likely fly (at least in the USA) if pushed even slightly.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by Phoenix666 on Friday December 22 2017, @05:37PM (1 child)
How long before people get implanted communicators? I have a complex device implanted in me right now, and there's no good reason it couldn't be given other functions than what it has. Put in piezoelectrics and one of those chips that uses glucose to produce electricity and you're set.
Washington DC delenda est.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday December 22 2017, @10:40PM
Now they're saying cell phones shouldn't be near your body for safety...
And you want to put it inside your body? What could possibly...
(Score: 2) by darkfeline on Friday December 22 2017, @07:50PM (1 child)
Why not allow inmates reasonable access to telephones to make calls/Internet access? Maybe if they stopped charging exorbitant rates for calls the inmates will stop smuggling phones.
Join the SDF Public Access UNIX System today!
(Score: 3, Interesting) by fyngyrz on Friday December 22 2017, @08:03PM
Because this ends up with them having leverage upon the other inmates, and the prison employees, through threats / benefits to others out in the real world. It's a bad idea all around. Yes, that includes visitation, also a very bad idea.
If you're going to imprison a person, you don't want it to turn into a business opportunity for them, or a means to (possibly further) harm others. Anything done of that nature is a failure of the prison system. Ideally, you want to make them feel the imprisonment, and provide a means and motive for rehabilitation. Again, anything outside of that is failure.
(Score: 2) by Pslytely Psycho on Saturday December 23 2017, @11:46AM (1 child)
I have only ever been to county lockup once as a kid, 40 years ago, and we had no outlets in our cells. Has this changed?
None of these links seemed to show a charger, but even a small one would be an uncomfortable cube, even if it has folding prongs (I've personally never seen a round charger except for automotive use).
As far as crippling debt goes, if your using a phone out of someones ass, debt is the least of your worries.....
Alex Jones lawyer inspires new TV series: CSI Moron Division.
(Score: 2) by t-3 on Saturday December 23 2017, @01:29PM
It's strange, but prison has more amenities and comforts than jail, which has more than the local lockup. Same way that parole is easier than felony probation, which is easier than misdemeanor probation. The system is fucked.