Coffee aficionados will buy green beans of a particular kind (don't even think of looking up Kopi Luwak), roast them themselves, grind only the amount needed to make the next cup and use an espresso machine or an Aeropress.
Hardly. I sponsor a Chachapoyan village high in the Peruvian cloud forest to grow bespoke coffee beans for me, which are dried in a sacred well of souls and blessed by the village shaman before being smuggled into the US in the rectum of endangered quetzal birds. After they excrete it, a process which strips all but the most complex tasting tannins, I put it through a purification process that yields the best goddamn cup of coffee you've ever had.
Phoenixes, a species native to Asia Minor, are only used for coffee beans sourced there. You would know that if you were a real coffee afficionado. :-)
(Score: 2) by Phoenix666 on Sunday February 06 2022, @10:08PM (4 children)
Hardly. I sponsor a Chachapoyan village high in the Peruvian cloud forest to grow bespoke coffee beans for me, which are dried in a sacred well of souls and blessed by the village shaman before being smuggled into the US in the rectum of endangered quetzal birds. After they excrete it, a process which strips all but the most complex tasting tannins, I put it through a purification process that yields the best goddamn cup of coffee you've ever had.
That's what real coffee afficionados do. :-)
Washington DC delenda est.
(Score: 2) by kazzie on Friday February 11 2022, @01:30PM (3 children)
Quetzal? I thought you might use a few hundred phoenixes...
(Score: 2) by Phoenix666 on Friday February 11 2022, @03:11PM (2 children)
Phoenixes, a species native to Asia Minor, are only used for coffee beans sourced there. You would know that if you were a real coffee afficionado. :-)
Washington DC delenda est.
(Score: 2) by kazzie on Sunday February 13 2022, @05:18PM (1 child)
I am most certainly NOT a coffee afficionado: I'm a committed tea-drinker!
(Score: 2) by Phoenix666 on Sunday February 13 2022, @11:49PM
Heathen.
Washington DC delenda est.