SoylentNews is people
SoylentNews is powered by your submissions, so send in your scoop. Only 15 submissions in the queue.
SoylentNews
The shambling corpse of Steve Jobs lumbers forth, heeding not the end of October! How will you drive him away?
| 5% | 5 votes |
| 10% | 10 votes |
| 6% | 6 votes |
| 13% | 13 votes |
| 10% | 10 votes |
| 21% | 20 votes |
| 27% | 26 votes |
| 5% | 5 votes |
[ Voting Booth | Other Polls | Back Home ]
- Don't complain about lack of options. You've got to pick a few when you do multiple choice. Those are the breaks.
- Feel free to suggest poll ideas if you're feeling creative. I'd strongly suggest reading the past polls first.
- This whole thing is wildly inaccurate. Rounding errors, ballot stuffers, dynamic IPs, firewalls. If you're using these numbers to do anything important, you're insane.
This discussion has been archived.
No new comments can be posted.
The shambling corpse of Steve Jobs lumbers forth, heeding not the end of October! How will you drive him away?
|
Log In/Create an Account
| Top
| 33 comments
| Search Discussion
The Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not responsible for them in any way.
(1)
(1)
Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 27 2024, @09:32AM (1 child)
Attach some very large hard drive platters to Steve Jobs, then show him how the quality, repairability, and respect for user privacy have declined at Apple under Tim Cook. Upon seeing how Cook's leadership has caused Apple to decline, Jobs will have no option but to return to his grave, taking the massive hard drive platters with him, where he will promptly begin rotating at no less 10,000 rpm, probably quite faster. Not only will zombie Jobs have returned to his grave, but he will now also function as a very large hard drive. Problem solved.
(Score: 2) by DannyB on Monday October 28 2024, @04:58PM
If Steve Jobs were to be rotating at 10,000 RPM would he generate an AC or DC current?
Edison would be spinning in his grave.
The server will be down for replacement of vacuum tubes, belts, worn parts and lubrication of gears and bearings.
(Score: 5, Disagree) by Mykl on Sunday October 27 2024, @11:23AM (5 children)
The Oncology reference is pretty brutal
(Score: 2) by DannyB on Monday October 28 2024, @05:00PM (2 children)
After I read "The Mac Bathroom Reader" some decades ago, it shattered the illusions I had of Steve Jobs. The Oncology reference is at least somewhat deserved.
The server will be down for replacement of vacuum tubes, belts, worn parts and lubrication of gears and bearings.
(Score: 3, Informative) by Mykl on Monday October 28 2024, @08:38PM
Agreed that it's deserved. Jobs could arguably still be with us today (for good or ill) if he had followed Western medicine practices for the treatment of cancer rather than resorting to what was effectively faith healing.
(Score: 5, Informative) by Thexalon on Tuesday October 29 2024, @10:44AM
For me, the real kicker was learning that he had ripped off Woz for thousands of dollars back when they were both young and fairly poor. His "defense" was that he was desperate and needed the money, but Woz has always maintained that he would have willingly given Jobs help if he'd asked (and given how easy-going Woz has always been I believe him). The sociopathic tendencies were strong with that one.
"Think of how stupid the average person is. Then realize half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin
(Score: 2) by OrugTor on Thursday October 31 2024, @04:11PM
I thought of it as soon as I saw the question. It's not brutal, it's karma.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 03 2024, @10:36AM
So was his death probably given how painful it is to go like that
(Score: 3, Interesting) by SomeGuy on Sunday October 27 2024, @03:57PM (2 children)
I'd use a Microsoft Internet Explorer 4 CD to open a portal to hell and send him though.
Of course, that would also destroy everything within a 10 mile radius, but if it takes such drastic measures...
(If you recall, Steve Jobs got booed at when he announced IE would be the default browser on Mac, under threat of Microsoft discontinuing Office for Mac.)
(Score: 4, Funny) by DannyB on Monday October 28 2024, @06:27PM (1 child)
Internet Exploder was the worst browser ever conceived.
IE was eventually replaced by Edge, the browser with the icon of a toilet flushing swirl.
The server will be down for replacement of vacuum tubes, belts, worn parts and lubrication of gears and bearings.
(Score: 2) by higuita on Saturday November 02 2024, @09:26PM
you never used IE 3 for sure!! :D
but yes, IE4 was also awful
(Score: 3, Funny) by weirsbaski on Sunday October 27 2024, @10:20PM (3 children)
Tell Steve that he has another daughter and he needs to support her. I mean, it worked the first time around:
https://www.news.com.au/finance/money/wealth/apple-founder-steve-jobs-daughter-lisa-brennanjobs-tells-all-in-new-book/news-story/79e31331e1504d8e348109d7abd78e6f [news.com.au]
(Score: 3, Interesting) by Thexalon on Monday October 28 2024, @04:53PM (2 children)
I was going to suggest Lisa's mom, Chrisann Brennan, as being the most effective weapon to use: She has every reason to utterly hate Steve Jobs' guts.
Also, I suspect Ronald Wayne and Bill Fernandez have some interesting opinions.
"Think of how stupid the average person is. Then realize half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin
(Score: 2) by Samantha Wright on Tuesday October 29 2024, @02:44AM (1 child)
I'm not so sure—he didn't care then, he probably wouldn't care now. The sad irony, of course, is that the anecdote quoted in weirsbaski's link (about the car) has all the hallmarks of a classic Jobsian tantrum, the sort his colleagues learnt to power through. Of course, a child couldn't be expected to know that such a situation was tractable, but, in theory, it might've been, in some other, fantastical universe where Lisa was born a peerless orator.
(Score: 2) by Thexalon on Tuesday October 29 2024, @03:12AM
I'm not suggesting he would care what any of these people had to say, I'm suggesting that they'd all be motivated to act in ways that would force him to care. As in, shotgun blasts to his zombie head kinds of actions.
"Think of how stupid the average person is. Then realize half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin
(Score: 4, Funny) by Mykl on Monday October 28 2024, @03:01AM (2 children)
Announce that all Macs will now come as standard PC form factors in beige
(Score: 2) by acid andy on Monday October 28 2024, @10:25AM (1 child)
With extra loud fans.
error count exceeds 100; stopping compilation
(Score: 2) by DannyB on Monday October 28 2024, @05:09PM
And all internal metal parts of the frame sharpened to insure even the most minor of servicing is sure to draw blood.
The server will be down for replacement of vacuum tubes, belts, worn parts and lubrication of gears and bearings.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by DannyB on Monday October 28 2024, @05:16PM (3 children)
It just got used in horrible ways.
Suddenly every new piece of "software" was a HyperCard stack rather than an actual application.
HyperCard got enlisted into use as a database by . . . well . . . everyone.
It was a nice way to make (B&W only) slide shows before PowerPoint, which was originally intended as a way to euthanize cattle. But that practice had to be stopped after lawsuits from the humane society declared it to be cruel and inhumane. Then business people recognized PowerPoint could be used in meeting rooms where the doors could be locked from the outside. And thus one of HyperCard's possible uses disappeared.
HyperCard just got used in horrible ways. Like, uh . . . Visual Basic did.
The server will be down for replacement of vacuum tubes, belts, worn parts and lubrication of gears and bearings.
(Score: 4, Interesting) by Samantha Wright on Tuesday October 29 2024, @12:41AM
Steve killed HyperCard as soon as he could once he was back at the helm:
If it weren't for that, it might have
been sold to Adobelasted long enough to be transitioned to HTML5, like Flash. For a hot minute before NeXT reverse-merged with Apple, Steve was touting EOF (Enterprise Objects Framework) integration with a range of platforms, including Delphi and Visual Basic as client front-ends, so there's another timeline where HyperCard got the same treatment...(Score: 2) by VLM on Tuesday October 29 2024, @07:54PM (1 child)
Not a bad analogy but having been there I think it was more of a "Lotus Notes". I saw some stuff back in the day w/ Lotus Notes.
In the spirit of "Everything old is new again and we pretend the past never happened" is there a new 2020s FOSS that reinvents Lotus Notes while pretending it never happened? I don't mean similar outcome or purpose but I mean similar design and organization?
On topic, is there a FOSS replacement for all of Hypercard? I mean sure, hand waving some small parts you can use javascript with a web browser but I mean the entire thing, like port your Hypercard to ... I guess there's Decker but I don't know much about Decker.
(Score: 2) by DannyB on Wednesday October 30 2024, @02:40PM
I didn't know about Decker. Thanks. Looking at it is like a trip back in time. I'm not sure if I have a use for it.
The server will be down for replacement of vacuum tubes, belts, worn parts and lubrication of gears and bearings.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by Sourcery42 on Monday October 28 2024, @06:45PM (3 children)
Kudos to whoever came up with that option. I'll always have a soft spot for BeOS. I remember using the Developer's Edition around 2000-ish for some multimedia tasks back when Linux was still really rough around the edges.
(Score: 4, Funny) by Samantha Wright on Tuesday October 29 2024, @02:50AM (1 child)
No! I put that in there as a trap! You're not supposed to like BeOS! It was immature and had no software! Go buy NeXT stock, you philistine! ... or try a Haiku [wikipedia.org] live CD; it's infinitely better.
(Score: 2) by Sourcery42 on Tuesday October 29 2024, @01:38PM
Yeah, in this context I got a chuckle out of it. I remember the version I used did actually have a working network stack, firefox (actually I think it was in the firebird days), ffmpeg and some other foss tools. It certainly wasn't a very rich or bug free experience, but BeOS managed to be really good at multimedia relative to linux and windows at the time.
I fire up Haiku every once in a while, to see how it is coming along. It is cool to see, but the nostalgia wears thin in a hurry.
(Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 29 2024, @06:34AM
Same here. Very early in my career I was in a place where we had to support it for a few of the creative types. But man, that thing was great. It was snappy as hell because of a clever scheduler with real-time support. You could scale it up on the farm with its SMP support. The file system had a full database access layer. There was a lot of good technology underlying it. The problem is that it really felt unfinished in some areas and they purposefully added obstacles in the OS to prevent easy porting software. And the key to winning back then was having software that did what needed to be done by those purchasing your OS.
(Score: 2) by VLM on Tuesday October 29 2024, @07:58PM (2 children)
What no NeXT cube option? Like many others of my vintage, I was fascinated by the original NeXT cube and a lot of early Linux screwing around was a result of NeXT envy.
For the noobs, NeXT was kind of like mac OSX, but a decade or two earlier and who cares how much it costs or how hardware isn't quite up to the task yet we're shipping anyway.
(Score: 0, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday October 30 2024, @10:45PM
Racist dipshit go fuck yourself
(Score: 3, Interesting) by Samantha Wright on Thursday October 31 2024, @04:19PM
You're perhaps forgetting the idea is to offend zombie Steve. One of the grievances that engineers at Apple had about him in the first place was that he meddled too much, trying to dictate things like the aesthetics of motherboard layout, which he had no business getting his nose into. (This is from the same folklore account as the handicap parking incident.) The NeXTcube, by contrast, was manufactured in a highly-automated factory that was itself laid out according to his specifications, when there was no one who could say 'no' to him about bizarre demands like organization of a circuitboard. If we assume he never fundamentally changed as a person (though there's some evidence he did learn his lessons slowly) then it would have been his proudest moment, from a time before NeXT had to scale back its ambitions.
There certainly are NeXT products he would not have been thrilled about, though—most prominently the work on compatibility for Windows and for Java. The former was a desperate bid to stay solvent in the days just before the Apple merger, and the latter was the result of placing too much trust in Sun, who would then go on to backstab NeXT by buying and murdering the third-party company that made their best office suite (Lighthouse Design.)
(Score: 2) by Tork on Thursday October 31 2024, @09:42PM
I don't see how he'd even get near me. He'd instantly be surrounded by a crowd of noisy Android fans!
🏳️🌈 Proud Ally 🏳️🌈
(Score: 1) by Gertlex on Friday November 01 2024, @01:51PM
Probably.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday November 01 2024, @02:30PM
Be was in Menlo Park on El Camino just north of the Palo Alto border
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 03 2024, @10:34AM
Reference: https://trev.com/2016/11/fing-keys/ [trev.com] ->