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SoylentNews is people

posted by LaminatorX on Monday March 17 2014, @06:29AM   Printer-friendly [Skip to comment(s)]
from the the-story-of-us dept.

buswolley writes:

"Soylents: Concentrated pools of experts, doers, thinkers.

I am a neuroscientist.

What do you do?"

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  • (Score: 2, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @06:35AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @06:35AM (#17423)

    NT

    ofjhiojfgiojhdiofghf

    • (Score: 2) by xlefay on Monday March 17 2014, @06:47AM

      by xlefay (65) on Monday March 17 2014, @06:47AM (#17425) Journal

      That sounds like the most interesting profession I've heard about in a while, care to share more? ;-)

      • (Score: 1, Funny) by crutchy on Monday March 17 2014, @07:16AM

        by crutchy (179) on Monday March 17 2014, @07:16AM (#17431) Homepage Journal

        NT might be Northern Territory (Australia) and "ofjhiojfgiojhdiofghf" might be that noise that a dijeridoo makes

        • (Score: 5, Funny) by Kell on Monday March 17 2014, @07:51AM

          by Kell (292) on Monday March 17 2014, @07:51AM (#17438)

          So a musician, then? :)

          --
          Scientists ask questions. Engineers solve problems.
          • (Score: 3, Funny) by gishzida on Monday March 17 2014, @09:05AM

            by gishzida (2870) on Monday March 17 2014, @09:05AM (#17465) Journal

            Actually from the spelling I'd say it was a cat dancing on the keyboard... A Musical Australian Cat...

    • (Score: 2) by mojo chan on Monday March 17 2014, @08:35AM

      by mojo chan (266) on Monday March 17 2014, @08:35AM (#17451)

      Agreed, it's an obvious attempt by GCHQ/NSA to gather metadata on Soylent users. In all seriousness we know that GCHQ has attacked Slashdot before and I imagine they mine the comments there (and now here) regularly, trying to match user names to their other databases. They are recruiting at the moment.

      --
      const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
      • (Score: 1) by Yog-Yogguth on Monday March 17 2014, @09:29AM

        by Yog-Yogguth (1862) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 17 2014, @09:29AM (#17472) Journal

        Imagine if we all applied.
        Imagine if we all got hired.
        Imagine if we all were good at it (and not just what we were supposed to do).
        Imagine if we all preferred building Wizard Empires instead of taking the Snowden path.

        If "they" still don't get that this whole mass surveillance thing is a horrible idea —akin to handing out free nukes with sundaes— after imagining that then nothing can help them :) (maybe they've never ever met a genuine nerd or geek? Or maybe the have but didn't understand what they were seeing).

        *runs off to apply*/*already works @ $location*/*is in their soup*/*is their ceilingcat*

        The managers aren't the people closest to the tools and the tools are the real power. The managers probably couldn't work it to save their own lives. <sarcasm>Good Idea™</sarcasm>.

        From what I see here and elsewhere it's already like that and to the extreme in some places (and it brings an entirely new meaning to the name "Puzzle Palace"), the only difference is that "the powers that be" vainly believe they have such people under any meaningful degree of "control". That also applies to any/all machine intelligences and/or biological/neurological slaving.

        First documented historical case of nations failing the obituary test? :P

        --
        Bite harder Ouroboros, bite! tails.boum.org/ linux USB CD secure desktop IRC *crypt tor (not endorsements (XKeyScore))
  • (Score: 2, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @06:48AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @06:48AM (#17426)

    Professional Astronaut Masturbator

    • (Score: 4, Funny) by zeigerpuppy on Monday March 17 2014, @10:40AM

      by zeigerpuppy (1298) on Monday March 17 2014, @10:40AM (#17500)

      We should meet, these amateurs are just not doing it for me

    • (Score: 1) by linsane on Monday March 17 2014, @11:36AM

      by linsane (633) on Monday March 17 2014, @11:36AM (#17516)

      could you send me a link to the Kerbal Space Program mod for that please?

  • (Score: 3, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @06:55AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @06:55AM (#17427)

    I'm a TROLL TROLL TROLL. Mwahahahahaha!!!!

    • (Score: 1) by Yog-Yogguth on Monday March 17 2014, @09:39AM

      by Yog-Yogguth (1862) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 17 2014, @09:39AM (#17477) Journal

      +1 Cute :)

      --
      Bite harder Ouroboros, bite! tails.boum.org/ linux USB CD secure desktop IRC *crypt tor (not endorsements (XKeyScore))
      • (Score: -1) by NullPtr on Monday March 17 2014, @12:52PM

        by NullPtr (3786) on Monday March 17 2014, @12:52PM (#17539) Journal

        Does this site need ACs? Why not just get people to create an account with a silly name if they want to be anonymous, and let use filter down new users (where new is registration date, number of posts etc) or let us add them to 'freaks' and filter them down that way.

        • (Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @01:13PM

          by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @01:13PM (#17551)

          Some would say we don't need null pointers; I say that dereferencing these damned danglers is more trouble than it's worth.

          • (Score: 1, Informative) by NullPtr on Monday March 17 2014, @02:00PM

            by NullPtr (3786) on Monday March 17 2014, @02:00PM (#17587) Journal

            Java has no pointers; however, it still generates null pointer exceptions. Life is sweet!

        • (Score: 5, Insightful) by tibman on Monday March 17 2014, @02:09PM

          by tibman (134) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 17 2014, @02:09PM (#17592)

          ACs are a way for people to say what they want without fear. It also lowers the hurdle for people to interact with the site. Anyone can contribute, no registration required.

          --
          SN won't survive on lurkers alone. Write comments.
          • (Score: 1, Troll) by Khyber on Monday March 17 2014, @02:32PM

            by Khyber (54) on Monday March 17 2014, @02:32PM (#17610) Journal

            "Anyone can contribute"

            Except in IRC, where no matter how much you've contributed, ONE drunken rant gets you banned, and then you can no longer contribute.

            Power-tripping mods and site owners are going to be the death of this site.

            --
            Destroying Semiconductors With Style Since 2008, and scaring you ill-educated fools since 2013.
            • (Score: 5, Insightful) by efitton on Monday March 17 2014, @03:08PM

              by efitton (1077) on Monday March 17 2014, @03:08PM (#17632) Homepage

              Conversely, one could try not going on a drunken rant on IRC.

              And as I recognize the username from said drunken rant: If you choose to drunken rant, please don't start the drunken rant with a racial slur. The impact of threatening to raise hosting cost as a way to blow off steam will be left as an exercise for the reader.

              • (Score: 1, Flamebait) by Khyber on Wednesday March 19 2014, @02:36PM

                by Khyber (54) on Wednesday March 19 2014, @02:36PM (#18558) Journal

                "If you choose to drunken rant, please don't start the drunken rant with a racial slur."

                Considering I'm partially African, I'm free to use the damned word if I please, ESPECIALLY when I'm using the IGNORANT PERSON definition, you nigger.

                --
                Destroying Semiconductors With Style Since 2008, and scaring you ill-educated fools since 2013.
            • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @07:28PM

              by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @07:28PM (#17763)

              From FatPhil, a handy one-line script to see all of Khyber's IRC "contributions":

              for i in 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16; do GET "http://logs.sylnt.us/%23soylent/2014-03-$i.html"; done | grep -i Khyber | sed -e 's,.*<\(.*\)>,\1:,'

        • (Score: 0, Troll) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @02:21PM

          by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @02:21PM (#17599)

          Fuck you

        • (Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @05:28PM

          by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @05:28PM (#17709)

          No AC means I'm no longer a visitor to this site. I've heard similar sentiments from others.

        • (Score: 1) by Yog-Yogguth on Monday March 17 2014, @05:52PM

          by Yog-Yogguth (1862) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 17 2014, @05:52PM (#17724) Journal

          Everywhere needs anonymity if you ask me, AC on its own is only a shared pseudonym named to tease and let people blow off steam without risking karma and so on. Our silly names are also nothing but pseudonyms.

          I have no experience with the following on SN but except for issues with Lynx and similar and for example text to speech it should be reasonably easy to filter out everything below any chosen threshold or possibly also add AC as a foe or freak or whatever it is called.

          --
          Bite harder Ouroboros, bite! tails.boum.org/ linux USB CD secure desktop IRC *crypt tor (not endorsements (XKeyScore))
  • (Score: 4, Funny) by mrbluze on Monday March 17 2014, @07:02AM

    by mrbluze (49) on Monday March 17 2014, @07:02AM (#17429) Journal

    I waste time on irc and otherwise wave my arms about to no apparent effect.

    --
    Do it yourself, 'cause no one else will do it yourself.
    • (Score: 1) by Yog-Yogguth on Monday March 17 2014, @07:21AM

      by Yog-Yogguth (1862) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 17 2014, @07:21AM (#17432) Journal

      I do the same, except for the waving of arms and IRC.

      I'm getting really good at it too, I'll soon have to update my bio.

      --
      Bite harder Ouroboros, bite! tails.boum.org/ linux USB CD secure desktop IRC *crypt tor (not endorsements (XKeyScore))
    • (Score: 2) by sjames on Monday March 17 2014, @07:32AM

      by sjames (2882) on Monday March 17 2014, @07:32AM (#17433) Journal

      So you're the one screwing up the weather!

      • (Score: 2, Funny) by jimshatt on Monday March 17 2014, @08:55AM

        by jimshatt (978) on Monday March 17 2014, @08:55AM (#17460) Journal
        Just apply the proper counter-moves! Real meteorologists use butterflies.
        • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @12:39PM

          by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @12:39PM (#17533)

          Wasn't there an emacs macro for that?

          • (Score: 1) by mrclisdue on Monday March 17 2014, @01:09PM

            by mrclisdue (680) on Monday March 17 2014, @01:09PM (#17549)

            I navigate the tubes scouring for moments when I can spout off about the elegance of vim.

            cheers,

          • (Score: 1) by Doctor on Monday March 17 2014, @03:58PM

            by Doctor (3677) on Monday March 17 2014, @03:58PM (#17671)
            Emacs macro you say? Obligatory link to xkcd: http://xkcd.com/378/ [xkcd.com]
            --
            "Anybody remotely interesting is mad in some way." - The Doctor
  • (Score: 2) by GungnirSniper on Monday March 17 2014, @07:33AM

    by GungnirSniper (1671) on Monday March 17 2014, @07:33AM (#17434) Journal

    I work to make your hamburger cheaper. [wikipedia.org]

    I'm not sure I want to say what I actually do since I'd rather not have my professional doings affected by my alcohol-enhanced ramblings among my fellow Soylentils.

  • (Score: 5, Interesting) by Runaway1956 on Monday March 17 2014, @07:46AM

    by Runaway1956 (2926) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 17 2014, @07:46AM (#17437) Homepage Journal

    I'm an old guy. I've done a lot of things, most of them outdoors. Sailor, logger, truck driver, carpenter, concrete worker, cook, farm hand, and more. I'm not the guy most people would nominate for Geek of the year or anything. I have many interests, among them politics, the direction society is headed, and technology. My primary interest in computers is "how does it all work". I'm interested in their potential for communication and education. I am interested in the hardware, and how it does what it does, but I'm not into the microscopic details of the hardware. My interests have "evolved" over time, and I guess that my number one concern today centers around people's rights and freedoms on the digital frontier. Somehow, I seem to have found a niche in the slash and geek communities online.

    --
    There is a supply side shortage of pronouns. You will take whatever you are offered.
    • (Score: 2, Interesting) by Magic Oddball on Tuesday March 18 2014, @01:40AM

      by Magic Oddball (3847) on Tuesday March 18 2014, @01:40AM (#17884) Journal

      It used to be that guys with your description actually were the hotshots, believe it or not... I've been reading "Soul Of A New Machine [wikipedia.org]" which followed a Data General mainframe team in the mid-late 1970s, and have been very surprised at how well-rounded the guys over 25 years old at the time were. It starts out a bit slowly, but I'd recommend it.

      • (Score: 1) by ed.goforth on Tuesday March 18 2014, @04:34AM

        by ed.goforth (3302) on Tuesday March 18 2014, @04:34AM (#17927) Journal

        Indeed, it's a very good read. One of those fundamental stories that everyone should read at least once. I first encountered it as an assignment as an undergraduate (now over two decades ago...) Still available new http://amzn.com/0316491977 [amzn.com]

      • (Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Friday March 21 2014, @01:16AM

        by Runaway1956 (2926) Subscriber Badge on Friday March 21 2014, @01:16AM (#19129) Homepage Journal

        Thanks - I've downloaded it, and read the first chapter so far. Starts out slow, but I'll read it as I find time!

        --
        There is a supply side shortage of pronouns. You will take whatever you are offered.
  • (Score: 4, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @08:00AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @08:00AM (#17440)

    I'm Batman.

    • (Score: 2) by MrGuy on Monday March 17 2014, @12:17PM

      by MrGuy (1007) on Monday March 17 2014, @12:17PM (#17524)

      I love that parent was posted as AC.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @02:15PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @02:15PM (#17596)

      I'm Spartacus

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @08:41PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @08:41PM (#17787)

        I am Iron Man.

      • (Score: 2) by mechanicjay on Monday March 17 2014, @09:04PM

        by mechanicjay (7) <mechanicjayNO@SPAMsoylentnews.org> on Monday March 17 2014, @09:04PM (#17798) Homepage Journal
        No, I am Spartacus!
        --
        My VMS box beat up your Windows box.
        • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @11:09PM

          by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @11:09PM (#17828)

          No, I'm Spartacus and so is my wife!

  • (Score: 4, Informative) by Common Joe on Monday March 17 2014, @08:08AM

    by Common Joe (33) Subscriber Badge <common.joe.0101NO@SPAMgmail.com> on Monday March 17 2014, @08:08AM (#17441) Journal

    I'm looking for a job as a programmer in the hardest possible way... living in a new country where I barely speak the language when I have no talent for learning languages. I write novels, but I'm unpublished. I want to present an alternative (and sane) solution to copyrights, patents, and trademarks and I hope my writing will help pursue that agenda. I am a dedicated husband and put my wife above all else including anything IT related. I read a lot of fiction and non-fiction but refrain from reading many large books because I get lost in them. I am educated despite going to school. I lift weights, run, and enjoy the occasional martial arts workout. I listen to music that moves me. I complain about injustices and am frustrated with many things I see in the world. Sometimes I am sad. Sometimes I am happy. I am learning to accept the things I cannot change.

    I am well rounded and have tried many things, but I am not special. I am just a common man living a common life who has big dreams. I represent the "Common Joe".

  • (Score: 0, Flamebait) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @08:09AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @08:09AM (#17442)

    We've got Janrinok with nonsense and test articles, Dupefish with dupes, and LaminatorX with THIS shit now? Give me a motherfucking break. I vote to eject the editing staff and replace them.

    • (Score: 5, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @09:01AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @09:01AM (#17462)

      We need higher quality posts than this (... with comments from "wankers" and "batmans") if we want to survive. The other possibility is to disappear into oblivion like so many sites before us. Consider the two.

      Act civil!
      Be smart and literate!
      Don't post shit!
      Don't be a dick!

      https://blogs.discovermagazine.com/badastronomy/20 10/08/17/dont-be-a-dick-part-1-the-video/ [discovermagazine.com]

      • (Score: 2) by TheloniousToady on Monday March 17 2014, @12:39PM

        by TheloniousToady (820) on Monday March 17 2014, @12:39PM (#17534)

        Good suggestions. In particular, following those guidelines would be a great way to distinguish this site from Slashdot. ;-)

      • (Score: 3, Interesting) by elf on Monday March 17 2014, @02:07PM

        by elf (64) on Monday March 17 2014, @02:07PM (#17591)

        I'd like to see this as an experimental post, this site came up quick with the help from the community. There were a lot of hard hours put in with lots of encouragement and participation by the community.

        I think this post was trying to appeal to the human side of people in an attempt at having a post talk about the members and to have a place for people to find out about all the others out there. I don't think it has worked out as intended but I guess thats how you learn in life. Things are still new so I am sure things will get better over time but I don't think comments like you have written are going to help one bit.

        • (Score: 1) by Peristaltic on Monday March 17 2014, @11:33PM

          by Peristaltic (3122) on Monday March 17 2014, @11:33PM (#17837)

          I think this post was trying to appeal to the human side of people in an attempt at having a post talk about the members and to have a place for people to find out about all the others out there. I don't think it has worked out as intended but I guess thats how you learn in life.

          Likely story- In reality, the Soylent staff is trying to mine data about us for the NSA and Google- hidden, thuper-thecret data that these dastardly organizations couldn't find anywhere else. The fact that nobody is required to post a reply is a malevolent ploy at reverse-psychology that nobody can resist. I mean, really... God only knows how you intend to use this wealth of information... Wait- you guys are working for /., aren't you! You're going to cross-reference this sensitive inforomation to, to, -do something bad- to us in revenge for our waning loyalty to our Dice overlords.

          .

          As a side-note, could we please have a \conspiracy sub-soylent?

          .

          Oh, and before I forget: Bioinformatician

          .

          PS- A bit more whitespace for the HTML "p" tag, please.

          • (Score: 2) by xlefay on Tuesday March 18 2014, @09:59AM

            by xlefay (65) on Tuesday March 18 2014, @09:59AM (#17983) Journal

            Wait, how did you know?

            • (Score: 1) by Peristaltic on Tuesday March 18 2014, @06:53PM

              by Peristaltic (3122) on Tuesday March 18 2014, @06:53PM (#18207)
              I used a genetic algorithm to evolve the antenna on my foil hat- Now everything is crystal-clear.
    • (Score: 4, Interesting) by janrinok on Monday March 17 2014, @09:26AM

      by janrinok (52) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 17 2014, @09:26AM (#17471) Journal

      Noted - we await your submission(s).

      • (Score: 2) by mhajicek on Monday March 17 2014, @02:21PM

        by mhajicek (51) on Monday March 17 2014, @02:21PM (#17600)

        Hey, I've been meaning to ask but I don't think there's a PM function; how much destruction did you suffer from that storm?

        --
        The spacelike surfaces of time foliations can have a cusp at the surface of discontinuity. - P. Hajicek
        • (Score: 3, Interesting) by janrinok on Monday March 17 2014, @03:58PM

          by janrinok (52) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 17 2014, @03:58PM (#17672) Journal

          Several trees down, one of which hit the corner of the house, so a bit of damage there. Insurance will pay. Thanks for asking.

          However, its nothing like the stress of being an editor for SN! We are 'editors' - we edit others' submissions. If the subjects that the community want are not the ones being submitted by someone else, I can see a very simple solution. But, apparently, not everyone else in the community can. Nearly 4000 members and only a very small proportion have submitted a story. And if someone wants me to step down, all they have to do is step up. :)

          • (Score: 1) by efitton on Monday March 17 2014, @04:46PM

            by efitton (1077) on Monday March 17 2014, @04:46PM (#17689) Homepage

            I like it here. I think you guys (gender neutral Midwest term) are at least on par with slashdot and I figure you're at the beginning of the learning curve. Pretty exciting actually. Well not everything is perfect, perfect is the enemy of the good and this is pretty darn good.

          • (Score: 2) by Common Joe on Tuesday March 18 2014, @04:51AM

            by Common Joe (33) Subscriber Badge <common.joe.0101NO@SPAMgmail.com> on Tuesday March 18 2014, @04:51AM (#17930) Journal

            Yeah, guilty as charged. I'm not great at submitting stories, but I try to mod when I can. I also try to comment when I think I have something useful or witty to add. Unfortunately, that isn't very often. I simply try to contribute where my talents allow me.

            Anyone who expects perfection from you guys doesn't understand how hard your job is... and doesn't understand people in general. I can accept mistakes and missteps especially when the overall stuff is decent quality. I just don't accept stupidity (aka, Beta).

            Keep experimenting and keep up the good work.

  • (Score: 5, Informative) by gishzida on Monday March 17 2014, @08:14AM

    by gishzida (2870) on Monday March 17 2014, @08:14AM (#17443) Journal

    The short answer: General Specialist...

    The long answer: I specialize in being a generalist...

    In the old days this was called "being well-rounded" or "jack-of-all-trades" or in the long ago days possibly "a renaissance man" but that seems much too sexist nowadays... I know a little bit about a lot of things but not a lot about anything... I am un-degree'd except by the school of hard knocks... I've done a lot of different things... taking the slow road to no-where. [Ever been there? Of course not! -- there's nothing there!]

    But of late it seems that the demand for a person that has nothing to offer but the ability to solve problems by applying rule-of-thumb, back of the envelope, general systems thinking influenced solutions... which is to say dive in and see if you can fix it in an OJT / "By Jove! I think you've got it!" sort of way, has fallen to an all time low.

    I got axed three years ago as a network administrator [Novell, Windows, Some Linux, Some Mac, Some *nix, a little bit o' every thing] by a specialist "headsman" my former employer brought in "to trim costs" which means anyone that was there longer than five years was history through various "creative" means... after all it's a right to work state and they did not want to pay unemployment... so they got creative.

    This has resulted in my current under-employed state... call it PTSD or just learned aversion but that last job pretty much cooked my goose. I have come to hate selling myself [as if I could ever be as good as a hooker with an MBA / BSEE / BSCS regardless of gender)]. To make matters worse I live in the heart of the Bible Belt-- in the one of the dumbest states in North America. I've spent three years looking and got one, first round interview... Oh sure I'd get calls for stuff but it was obvious the contact was so the headhunter could say they called someone. That sends a strong message... especially since I'm 60 years old [Sorry there are no ponies in this room full of horse manure].

    So now I spend a lot of my time annoying people here at SN, keeping 4 blogs going [see my user page for the URLs], fooling with music, words, and trying to keep alive...but I'm sure you really didn't mean to ask the question I've answered...

    Maybe my purpose is as a reminder [despair.com] of what not to do with your career... In that case I suppose you'd could say I have simply fallen down the rabbit hole into luser space and I can't get back.

    Now that you've heard the long answer I'm sure you wished you had stopped at the short answer.

    So do I.

    Let the AC trolling now begin...

    • (Score: 4, Interesting) by VLM on Monday March 17 2014, @12:51PM

      by VLM (445) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 17 2014, @12:51PM (#17538)

      I don't think you've been AC trolled because you're pretty much on the same path as the rest of us, although maybe a little further along. Although I'm not as far along the path, I do have the degrees (Well, not the MBA, don't have the prerequisite lobotomy) which makes me less employable because I'd be more expensive, so we're stuck about the same place.

      From what I've heard the job market is about the same here, thousand or so miles roughly north of you.

      So... I'm old enough that I'm probably in my last full time job right now, and on the inside we tell each other we'll just consult / contract or start our own thing once we're out. At least that's what we tell each other. I'll have about three decades to figure it out before I collect retirement checks.

      I sense a demand for some kind of "this is how STEM-type people survive the second great economic depression" blog. Or at least an article here on SN. Like the housingBubbleBlog or zerohedge but for STEM type people. HN is close, at least it has a similar demographic, but its focused on stylish startuppy yuppie groupthink echo chamber so there's not much insight there.

    • (Score: 1) by egcagrac0 on Monday March 17 2014, @01:39PM

      by egcagrac0 (2705) on Monday March 17 2014, @01:39PM (#17570)

      I do a lot of the same things, although not yet dismissed.

      I generally refer to my position as "factotum"... although after the big company bought out our little shop, it's no longer "factotum extraordinary, plenipotentiary".

    • (Score: 1) by tempest on Monday March 17 2014, @01:43PM

      by tempest (3050) on Monday March 17 2014, @01:43PM (#17573)

      I've wondered about this path as well. I'm a jack of all trades, and the guy before me was too (he's retired). When I leave, could they replace me with another jack? Is it just me or is that becoming really rare these days? I guess in a way we've been outsourced. Instead of getting a "computer guy", everyone just buys IT services from somewhere else. I've noticed over the years that the jack is a good guy to not only keep existing things working, but also create new solutions that WORK. By that I mean if left to their own devices, users don't know what exactly they want, and usually come up with "solutions" that turn into an over complicated pile of shit without a technical person to steer them strait.

      Well I'm stockpiling my assets for my "plan b" if I get canned. I suppose my employer might be a little surprised that the next IT person may not be able to do web development, video editing, database administration and so forth, but I guess there are plenty of companies getting by without a guru these days and I'm over estimating our value.

      • (Score: 2, Insightful) by egcagrac0 on Monday March 17 2014, @03:49PM

        by egcagrac0 (2705) on Monday March 17 2014, @03:49PM (#17665)

        When I leave, could they replace me with another jack?

        In my experience, yes, if they can find one.

        If they're unable to locate another jack, 3-4 non-jacks can usually fill the void.

    • (Score: 1) by samwichse on Monday March 17 2014, @07:51PM

      by samwichse (3189) on Monday March 17 2014, @07:51PM (#17770) Journal

      General specialist, I love that and I'm stealing it!

      I'm a greenhouse manager, or at least that's my job description. In reality I do anything my lab needs done because I love the challenge of solving a conundrum. Always a new challenge... from growing touchy plants to transferring viruses to troubleshooting arcane lab equipment to "how do I _____ in Excel."

      I don't know how you _____ in excel, but I bet we can figure it out!

      Sam

  • (Score: 3, Interesting) by Liquid Len on Monday March 17 2014, @08:28AM

    by Liquid Len (2320) on Monday March 17 2014, @08:28AM (#17448)

    I'm a plasma physicist

    • (Score: 1) by gishzida on Monday March 17 2014, @08:40AM

      by gishzida (2870) on Monday March 17 2014, @08:40AM (#17452) Journal

      Have you ever heard of Frederick L. Scarf [latimes.com]?

    • (Score: 2, Interesting) by Alphatool on Monday March 17 2014, @10:36AM

      by Alphatool (1145) on Monday March 17 2014, @10:36AM (#17498)

      I'm a physicist too. I started out doing experimental particle physics, now I'm working as a nuclear physicist in the pharmaceutical industry. It's not going to revolutionize the world, but at least I'm curing cancer (well, sometimes it works).

  • (Score: 4, Funny) by mojo chan on Monday March 17 2014, @08:33AM

    by mojo chan (266) on Monday March 17 2014, @08:33AM (#17449)

    Spartacus!

    --
    const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
    • (Score: 3, Informative) by Jerry Smith on Monday March 17 2014, @08:49AM

      by Jerry Smith (379) on Monday March 17 2014, @08:49AM (#17457) Journal

      No, I'M Spartacus!

      --
      All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.
      • (Score: 4, Funny) by crutchy on Monday March 17 2014, @10:07AM

        by crutchy (179) on Monday March 17 2014, @10:07AM (#17487) Homepage Journal

        no i'm spartacus! ...and so is my wife!

      • (Score: 2) by mojo chan on Monday March 17 2014, @05:57PM

        by mojo chan (266) on Monday March 17 2014, @05:57PM (#17726)

        We would both have had a lot more credibility if we had remembered to post anonymously.

        --
        const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
    • (Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @08:50AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @08:50AM (#17458)

      _I_ am Spartacus!

  • (Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @08:41AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @08:41AM (#17454)

    Data Miner Answer: I wipe my own ass.

    Serious answer: Unix Administrator, have worn lots of IT/Tech hats.

    • (Score: 2, Funny) by GungnirSniper on Monday March 17 2014, @10:35AM

      by GungnirSniper (1671) on Monday March 17 2014, @10:35AM (#17496) Journal

      There are still UNIX Admins out there who don't just say Linux now? You must have a huge neckbeard sir.

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @12:25PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @12:25PM (#17528)

        Some shops use Solaris hp-ux aix etc that are not linux.

        • (Score: 2) by VLM on Monday March 17 2014, @01:01PM

          by VLM (445) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 17 2014, @01:01PM (#17542)

          Aside from those good examples, I've noticed *BSD admins take great pleasure in describing themselves as unix admins as opposed to linux admins. Rarely if ever do bsd admins self diagnose as "bsd admins".

          • (Score: 3, Insightful) by Yog-Yogguth on Monday March 17 2014, @06:11PM

            by Yog-Yogguth (1862) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 17 2014, @06:11PM (#17733) Journal

            That would be because BSD is UNIX while Linux isn't (Linux is meant to be POSIX but that goes for Windows as well) }:)

            --
            Bite harder Ouroboros, bite! tails.boum.org/ linux USB CD secure desktop IRC *crypt tor (not endorsements (XKeyScore))
  • (Score: 4, Interesting) by mmcmonster on Monday March 17 2014, @09:43AM

    by mmcmonster (401) on Monday March 17 2014, @09:43AM (#17479)

    I did an undergraduate degree in Computer Science (and, like all CS graduates, had a minor in Mathematics), but then gave that up and went into Med School.

    While what I do for a living would be counted as physician, I've been a computer geek since the early 80s. Makes it fun when the IT guys try to do a fast one by me.

    • (Score: 2) by demonlapin on Monday March 17 2014, @07:45PM

      by demonlapin (925) on Monday March 17 2014, @07:45PM (#17769) Journal
      MD here too. I'm an anesthesiologist; what do you do?
  • (Score: 2, Informative) by WizardFusion on Monday March 17 2014, @10:00AM

    by WizardFusion (498) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 17 2014, @10:00AM (#17483) Journal

    Third line windows server support engineer for one of the largest IT companies in Europe.
    I am also a self-taught VB.net programmer/developer.

    I have 20+ years experience in IT

  • (Score: 4, Funny) by crutchy on Monday March 17 2014, @10:05AM

    by crutchy (179) on Monday March 17 2014, @10:05AM (#17485) Homepage Journal

    ...a lowly taxpayer

    and my arse is extremely sore

  • (Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @10:06AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @10:06AM (#17486)

    I'm a key punch operator!

    (...and I'd love to see that show up in someone's statistics as a result of this...)

  • (Score: 2, Informative) by cmn32480 on Monday March 17 2014, @10:24AM

    by cmn32480 (443) <cmn32480NO@SPAMsoylentnews.org> on Monday March 17 2014, @10:24AM (#17492) Journal

    In house IT for a small company. I also manage the field service/tech support/Professional Services division, and I get to manage our small warehouse as well.

    I AM NOT A PROGRAMMER, I tried that, and either all the teachers sucked, or I don't have an aptitude for it.

    On the upside, I really do like my job.

    --
    "It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm wearing Milkbone underwear" - Norm Peterson
    • (Score: 2, Insightful) by tempest on Monday March 17 2014, @01:12PM

      by tempest (3050) on Monday March 17 2014, @01:12PM (#17550)

      I don't know if I could handle IT if I weren't a programmer (mind you I'm the only IT person where I work). Over years I've phased out (and avoided new) many of small shit programs that tend to weasel their way into an operation, become critical, then unsupported. I'm sure the guy after me will bitch about all the stuff I made, then replace them with small modular programs made by "reputable companies" but that's up to him :)

      • (Score: 1) by cmn32480 on Monday March 17 2014, @03:56PM

        by cmn32480 (443) <cmn32480NO@SPAMsoylentnews.org> on Monday March 17 2014, @03:56PM (#17670) Journal

        It very much depends on the environment. In my environment, things are fairly simple, and the only programming that I need to do is some simple scripting. I am not writing things that people use on a day-to-day basis, and for the most part it is all for my own use. Almost all of what I "write" is found on the web and adapted to my needs, but not written wholesale from scratch.

        Often, I can find free or nearly free small programs that will do what I need.

        Do I wish I had an aptitude for programming? Hell yes. Am I going to cry over spilled milk? Hell no.

        --
        "It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm wearing Milkbone underwear" - Norm Peterson
      • (Score: 2) by Popeidol on Monday March 17 2014, @04:00PM

        by Popeidol (35) on Monday March 17 2014, @04:00PM (#17674) Journal

        It seems like that until you try it. IT is getting very specialised now, and most people spend all their time handling a very small subset of things in very great detail. Getting to know a specific subject completely is a good career, but I find it also gets a bit boring.

        I'm a generalist. I am 'the IT guy' at a company of 70-something people, so I do everything from level 1 support to hardware purchasing/rollout to network config to light dev work. If the workload looks like too much for me, I can outsource some things. If it's light, I get to spend time exploring and testing new things, which in this company can mean some interesting hardware and creative thinking.

        The company I work for is non-profit, a Disability Employment Company. I do contract work with other non-profits and some casual work on the side. Working with companies this size has no obvious path upwards, but I can't bring myself to change careers - the constant variety, problem solving and learning means I'm not likely to get tired of it like many jobs I could move to.

        • (Score: 1) by cmn32480 on Tuesday March 18 2014, @11:29AM

          by cmn32480 (443) <cmn32480NO@SPAMsoylentnews.org> on Tuesday March 18 2014, @11:29AM (#18007) Journal

          AMEN! I'm in the same boat. Every day is different. New challenges, new problems, and new ways to stretch my brain.

          And I like the people that I work with and work for, which no doubt helps.

          --
          "It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm wearing Milkbone underwear" - Norm Peterson
  • (Score: 1) by Subsentient on Monday March 17 2014, @10:56AM

    by Subsentient (1111) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 17 2014, @10:56AM (#17504) Homepage Journal

    I am Subsentient, commander of the undead gerbil horde, purveyor of benevolent insanity, official moral authority, and the rat watching you from under your seat. Don't look.

    --
    "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." -Jiddu Krishnamurti
  • (Score: 2, Informative) by Litron286 on Monday March 17 2014, @10:58AM

    by Litron286 (2272) on Monday March 17 2014, @10:58AM (#17506)

    When your job blends into multiple fields..."jack of all trades", as most of you guys do the same

    Data Architect/DBA/SQL Developer/BI developer/consultant/contractor...call it whatever you want

    • (Score: 1) by timbim on Monday March 17 2014, @11:08AM

      by timbim (907) on Monday March 17 2014, @11:08AM (#17509)

      Programmer. That's all you are.

  • (Score: 3, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @11:13AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @11:13AM (#17512)

    Is sign NDAs that include not saying what I work with.

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @12:20PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @12:20PM (#17525)

    (gravelly voice) I'm Batman.

    • (Score: 1) by e_armadillo on Monday March 17 2014, @05:33PM

      by e_armadillo (3695) on Monday March 17 2014, @05:33PM (#17711)

      I know Batman only works in black, and sometimes a very, very dark grey.

      --
      "How are we gonna get out of here?" ... "We'll dig our way out!" ... "No, no, dig UP stupid!"
  • (Score: 2) by wantkitteh on Monday March 17 2014, @12:23PM

    by wantkitteh (3362) on Monday March 17 2014, @12:23PM (#17527) Homepage Journal

    Professionally speaking, I am the interface between the tech-speaking short-tempered suffer-no-fools IT hardliners and those poor unfortunate fools who subject themselves to their reign of terror otherwise known as users. That's right, I'm a cross-platform (PC/Mac/Linux) support contractor! My SO is a fine artist and we collaborate on projects from time-to-time. I run a Minecraft server and I'm deputy commander of a World of Tanks clan.

    • (Score: 1) by pikoro on Tuesday March 18 2014, @12:15AM

      by pikoro (1624) on Tuesday March 18 2014, @12:15AM (#17857) Homepage

      "I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to! I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?"

      • (Score: 1) by Magic Oddball on Tuesday March 18 2014, @01:45AM

        by Magic Oddball (3847) on Tuesday March 18 2014, @01:45AM (#17887) Journal

        Thank you for making me laugh out loud -- I'd give you +1 Funny if I had any mod points.

        • (Score: 2) by wantkitteh on Tuesday March 18 2014, @12:09PM

          by wantkitteh (3362) on Tuesday March 18 2014, @12:09PM (#18025) Homepage Journal

          I wouldn't I've spent pretty much all morning untangling a box of Ethernet cables and sorting them between booted/jacketed and unbooted/unjacketed. Got another box to do after lunch. At least the boss left the light on for me.

  • (Score: 2) by Sir Garlon on Monday March 17 2014, @12:50PM

    by Sir Garlon (1264) on Monday March 17 2014, @12:50PM (#17537)

    I am a Master of Science. I have a piece of paper on my wall that says so. So, Science is mine to command! BWA-HA-HA!

    Seriously, I'm a senior software engineer, which means I spend a lot of time diagnosing and fixing other people's mistakes.

    --
    [Sir Garlon] is the marvellest knight that is now living, for he destroyeth many good knights, for he goeth invisible.
    • (Score: 2) by buswolley on Monday March 17 2014, @04:50PM

      by buswolley (848) on Monday March 17 2014, @04:50PM (#17692)

      When I got my masters I thought cool..a master. If I get a PHD I would be called doctor buswolley, why should I not be called master buswolley now?
      Well.
      Let's just say that my wife didn't want to call me master.

      --
      subicular junctures
      • (Score: 2) by Sir Garlon on Monday March 17 2014, @04:57PM

        by Sir Garlon (1264) on Monday March 17 2014, @04:57PM (#17697)

        Let's just say that my wife didn't want to call me master.

        An oldie but goodie from Ambrose Bierce [thedevilsdictionary.com]:

        MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.

        --
        [Sir Garlon] is the marvellest knight that is now living, for he destroyeth many good knights, for he goeth invisible.
  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @01:03PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @01:03PM (#17545)

    I wish this was a joke :(

  • (Score: 1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @01:17PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @01:17PM (#17555)

    There are those who call me ... Tim.

  • (Score: 2, Interesting) by sikorsky on Monday March 17 2014, @01:21PM

    by sikorsky (1933) on Monday March 17 2014, @01:21PM (#17557)

    I'm a physician

  • (Score: 3, Funny) by zafiro17 on Monday March 17 2014, @01:26PM

    by zafiro17 (234) on Monday March 17 2014, @01:26PM (#17560) Homepage

    I am pond scum, a generally structureless mass of cellulose, keratin, and simple proteins. I float leisurely-like on the surface of still waters, gathering energy from the sunlight and nutrients from the water body. I am however slowly gathering sentience. It's taken a few million generations, but I am now capable of independent thought. All the caffeine you wankers have poured into the water has sped up the process considerably. On the other hand, thanks to all the estrogen you birth-control taking pill-poppers have been also pouring down the toilet I have now also grown tits. Nitrogen pollution and organic waste have now contributed to a growing sense of muscle control, so I can type.

    Stick around a couple more years. I have already gained the equivalent IQ of an American Republican radio talk-show host. In another couple of years I will have surpassed that and will be on track to take over the world.

    Not a bad job, if you can get it. That's what this Soybean does. And by the way, this article sucks.

    --
    Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis - Jack Handey
  • (Score: 1) by moondrake on Monday March 17 2014, @01:28PM

    by moondrake (2658) on Monday March 17 2014, @01:28PM (#17561)

    On a more serious note, reading through the replies, I find there are rather few real answers. At first I thought this might be because people here value their privacy. But after pondering this for a while, I think it has perhaps more to do with that coming to this site is usually to think NOT about work for a few secs/min/hours. And we do not see our day to day profession as very relevant here (though I value to in-depth responses of the astrophysicists or other experts when we discuss certain topics).

    But for the record, I'm a plant physiologist.

    Edit: why does soylent forbid IANAL as subject?

    • (Score: 1) by hendrikboom on Monday March 17 2014, @02:28PM

      by hendrikboom (1125) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 17 2014, @02:28PM (#17605) Homepage Journal

      Why is IANAL not allowed here? Because it's boring. Most of us are in intellectual pursuits, have lots of books, and cannot honestly say, "I am not a Librarian."

    • (Score: 2) by Popeidol on Tuesday March 18 2014, @02:02AM

      by Popeidol (35) on Tuesday March 18 2014, @02:02AM (#17894) Journal

      I believe it's because the subject was all in caps. There were efforts underway to strip the lameness filter out of slashcode but it seems at least some of it is still lurking in the background, silently rejecting your post without providing a reason.

      • (Score: 1) by moondrake on Tuesday March 18 2014, @03:07PM

        by moondrake (2658) on Tuesday March 18 2014, @03:07PM (#18121)

        thanks, Informative!

        Perhaps it is not bad to have some sort of lameness control, but at least a reason should be provided for rejecting posts (noticed this a few times now).

  • (Score: 2) by Thexalon on Monday March 17 2014, @01:39PM

    by Thexalon (636) on Monday March 17 2014, @01:39PM (#17569)

    I am a developer, musician, sometimes-teacher, and of course unpaid Internet pundit.

    --
    Alcohol makes the world go round ... and round and round.
  • (Score: 3, Interesting) by tynin on Monday March 17 2014, @01:40PM

    by tynin (2013) on Monday March 17 2014, @01:40PM (#17571) Journal

    Worn a lot of hats, but I'm currently doing a little bit of everything to support / config / maintain 10's of thousands of nodes across numerous supercomputers. The job has been a lot of fun until we built an internal cloud, and then immediately allowed production level products on it. It has been an ongoing struggle to keep it up since then. But at least we are learning a lot about what not to do...

  • (Score: 5, Interesting) by mhajicek on Monday March 17 2014, @01:45PM

    by mhajicek (51) on Monday March 17 2014, @01:45PM (#17574)

    I'm pretty sure the dataminers have already looked at my LinkedIn page. For the rest of you; I've been a CNC programmer (I program precision metal cutting machines) for about 18 years. The two years of tech school to get going were pretty cheap, and I've never had trouble finding employment. Lately I've been getting more into Fanuc Macro B, which adds little things like math and flow control to what is otherwise just a sequential list of move commands. When used in conjunction with a measuring probe, I can make the machine adjust roughing passes to the size of the stock to save cutting time, and adjust offsets to control finished feature sizes. It's also useful for engraving serial numbers and for procedurally generating families of parts (similar parts but with different dimensions).

    As a hobby I've been making medieval style armor for over 20 years.

    --
    The spacelike surfaces of time foliations can have a cusp at the surface of discontinuity. - P. Hajicek
    • (Score: 2, Interesting) by sl4shd0rk on Monday March 17 2014, @02:47PM

      by sl4shd0rk (613) on Monday March 17 2014, @02:47PM (#17623)

      I've been a CNC programmer

      Personal projects are a nice side benefit of that job ;)

    • (Score: 1) by timbim on Monday March 17 2014, @05:47PM

      by timbim (907) on Monday March 17 2014, @05:47PM (#17721)

      I dont understand. From my limited experience, I saw that Solid Works outputs some file that the CNC machine can read and get all the information for cutting the metal. What is it that you do in this process? I ask because I want to do what you do but I want job security. Thanks.

      • (Score: 2) by mhajicek on Tuesday March 18 2014, @12:49PM

        by mhajicek (51) on Tuesday March 18 2014, @12:49PM (#18040)

        Solidworks is a Computer Aided Design (CAD) system which helps you make a computer model of a 3D object. It can also model assemblies and do motion studies, stress analysis, and flow simulation. By itself it cannot talk to a CNC machine, but it can save your model in STL format which is the most common input format for a 3D printer. The 3D printer's software then figures out the nozzle path.

        Computer Aided Manufacturing (CAM) software is for generating the G-Code that CNC machines read (it can also be laboriously written by hand as in the old days). Mastercam is the most commonly used CAM, and also has basic CAD functionality. There are CAM add-in packages for Solidworks.

        The CAM software can't just look at the part and know how to make it. You need to tell it what size and shape of stock you're starting with, how the part is oriented, what cutters to use and at what feed rate, RPM, depth of cut, step-over, etc. That's where the CNC programmer comes in. Usually someone who's done manual machining and CNC operation for a while, the CNC programmer needs to come up with an efficient strategy to hold and machine the part, and communicate that to the CAM software.

        --
        The spacelike surfaces of time foliations can have a cusp at the surface of discontinuity. - P. Hajicek
  • (Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @01:50PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @01:50PM (#17580)

    Enough with the B.S. You Guys...

        These feeble attempts at polluting the files we have on each individual will be parsed for attempts at identity fraud - you will be contacted for committing this crime within the next fifteen years!

  • (Score: 2) by Geezer on Monday March 17 2014, @01:50PM

    by Geezer (511) on Monday March 17 2014, @01:50PM (#17581)

    I fix stuff. When I'm not fixing stuff, sometimes I make stuff. Or design stuff that will never be fixed or made. Or drink beer.

  • (Score: 3, Interesting) by umafuckitt on Monday March 17 2014, @01:58PM

    by umafuckitt (20) on Monday March 17 2014, @01:58PM (#17586)

    I'm a neuroscientist too.

    • (Score: 3, Interesting) by buswolley on Monday March 17 2014, @04:47PM

      by buswolley (848) on Monday March 17 2014, @04:47PM (#17691)

      Right on colleague!
      I should clarify that there are neuroscientists and there are neuroscientists. I'm the former. I'm cognitive neuroscientist that uses neuroimaging in human populations. This can be quite different from neuroscientists studying phenomenon at the neuron or ensemble level. Formally I am a psychologist that uses neuroimaging methods. I do not tell people I am a psychologist because everyone thinks "Freud" (Fuck Freud) or "psychiatrist"... and because I think about the brain everyday.

       

      --
      subicular junctures
      • (Score: 2) by buswolley on Monday March 17 2014, @08:57PM

        by buswolley (848) on Monday March 17 2014, @08:57PM (#17793)

        However, I occasionally suffer grammatical error.

        --
        subicular junctures
      • (Score: 2) by umafuckitt on Wednesday March 19 2014, @02:22AM

        by umafuckitt (20) on Wednesday March 19 2014, @02:22AM (#18363)

        I image too, but I do Ca++ imaging of neuronal cell bodies.

  • (Score: 1) by tizan on Monday March 17 2014, @02:06PM

    by tizan (3245) on Monday March 17 2014, @02:06PM (#17590)

    Involved in lots of software development recently

  • (Score: 1) by Rune of Doom on Monday March 17 2014, @02:21PM

    by Rune of Doom (1392) on Monday March 17 2014, @02:21PM (#17601)

    while wondering if we'll somehow hit a useful Singularity first.

  • (Score: 1) by Asshole on Monday March 17 2014, @02:40PM

    by Asshole (159) on Monday March 17 2014, @02:40PM (#17618)

    But I'm also an asshole, so don't hate me.

  • (Score: 1) by SleazyRidr on Monday March 17 2014, @02:45PM

    by SleazyRidr (882) on Monday March 17 2014, @02:45PM (#17620)

    Professionally I'm a process safety consultant for the offshore oil and gas industry, although I have done a little onshore stuff recently too.

    Outside of that I'm starting to be less fun and more of a family man.

  • (Score: 1) by efernsler on Monday March 17 2014, @03:17PM

    by efernsler (1035) on Monday March 17 2014, @03:17PM (#17638)

    I make peoples lives a little easier. I assist a few lawyers who do estate planning (wills, powers of attorney, advanced health care directives, trusts). It's a nice feeling when those things are in order, and I help make that nice feeling happen.

    I'm not saving the world, but I am making the process of dying a little easier on the family.

    Oh, and I used to own a web development company until the tech got under my skin and made me rabid. So I left tech and went into law. Weird.

  • (Score: 1) by Serial_Priest on Monday March 17 2014, @03:21PM

    by Serial_Priest (2493) <accusingangelNO@SPAMautistici.org> on Monday March 17 2014, @03:21PM (#17644)

    ...to associate with "anonymous" handles?

    I am Jack's disappointment.

    We should be free to let our posts, ideas, and arguments speak for themselves. And there is no meaningful online freedom without anonymity.

  • (Score: 2) by everdred on Monday March 17 2014, @04:10PM

    by everdred (110) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 17 2014, @04:10PM (#17677) Homepage Journal

    I'm a copywriter. I studied advertising in college.

    I've worked for tech startups, where I would write marketing copy, do some customer service, write documentation, produce blog posts, talk to the user community, etc. Now I'm the copywriter for Internet stuff of all kinds at a not-a-startup...

    ...but I also run a couple of Debian boxes there that host some popular blogs and stuff, so I hope that I do not have to turn in my geek card.

  • (Score: 1) by thoughtlover on Monday March 17 2014, @04:31PM

    by thoughtlover (3247) on Monday March 17 2014, @04:31PM (#17682) Journal

    I'm a banana!

    • (Score: 1) by redneckmother on Monday March 17 2014, @05:03PM

      by redneckmother (3597) on Monday March 17 2014, @05:03PM (#17698)

      Ah, so fruit flies like you?

      What I do: mildew.

      --
      Mas cerveza por favor.
  • (Score: 2, Informative) by N3Roaster on Monday March 17 2014, @04:33PM

    by N3Roaster (3860) <roaster@wilsonscoffee.com> on Monday March 17 2014, @04:33PM (#17683) Homepage Journal

    I'm in charge of roasting operations at a little (largest in my city but still considered small on a national scale) coffee shop. Aside from deciding what coffees to bring in, how to roast them, and making sure that roasting gets done I also write free (MIT license) software that's currently used by many other coffee roasting firms throughout the world and I do a fair amount of travelling around (nationally and internationally) providing training and consulting to others in the industry.

    • (Score: 2) by buswolley on Monday March 17 2014, @04:41PM

      by buswolley (848) on Monday March 17 2014, @04:41PM (#17685)

      South American beans with a light roast so the beans are still golden brown....and fresh. The flavors in coffee have a short half-life....much like in a triple IPA

      --
      subicular junctures
    • (Score: 2) by tynin on Monday March 17 2014, @04:54PM

      by tynin (2013) on Monday March 17 2014, @04:54PM (#17695) Journal

      Care to plug your software? I'd love to see what you have going for you. Software and coffee, a match made in heaven, sounds interesting.

      • (Score: 2, Interesting) by N3Roaster on Monday March 17 2014, @06:09PM

        by N3Roaster (3860) <roaster@wilsonscoffee.com> on Monday March 17 2014, @06:09PM (#17732) Homepage Journal

        Sorry, there's a link in my bio but it's better to have that in the comment itself. The software is called Typica. I started work on that in 2006 with version 1.0 released in 2007. Rather ugly project page [randomfield.com], github [github.com] for the latest source code, and there are some videos that show some different aspects of the software [youtube.com] as well.

        The software is still under active development with more improvements that I'd like to make than time available to make them. I'm using Qt to handle a lot of things on the UI side and PostgreSQL to store the data. Most people just run PostgreSQL and Typica on the same machine, but I have my database on another computer on the LAN and connect to that from multiple other systems (so I can do things like have multiple roasters in operation working off the same inventory records).

        There are a number of options in this space and things are a little bit better now, but when I started to work on this the options that existed were expensive, Windows only (we were a Mac/Linux shop at the time), and as near as I could tell they all had what I considered to be severe design flaws with things like artificial limitations on the number of saved roasting plans you could have and no regard for integration with other aspects of the business.

        Being in control of my software has also let me develop new features and try out different things with the result that I've made it easier for me to operate consistently without compromising on quality or the versatility of the underlying equipment. Some of these features have since been added in some form to commercial offerings, but most of the software in this space is not being written by people who share the direct practical concerns of people using the software so there's often some communication difficulty getting things implemented in a way that's useful and sometimes business concerns for the software vendor have also resulted in sub-optimal approaches. That's not to say that my software is the right choice for every roasting company (it's not), but I try to focus my efforts on things that I'm going to find useful myself and that seems to be working out.

  • (Score: 3, Informative) by bucc5062 on Monday March 17 2014, @04:42PM

    by bucc5062 (699) on Monday March 17 2014, @04:42PM (#17686)

    There have been some unique and interesting posts on this thread. I resemble the few that talk about gaining in age and working to stay relevant in a profession I've been passionate about since College. I'v been a Programmer (re: Analyst, software developer, Engineer, whatever) all my professional life (35 years) along with wearing the hat of DBA, SysAdmin, and sometimes operator (in the early days). It has been an amazing ride, watching technology change. To be here before the internet, before smartphones, before client server and see how each has changed society and our industry has been wonderful and exhausting at the same time. While I've not lost the passion for designing and being creative in coding, working for companies and people that view what I do as irrelevant and myself as chattel has sapped some of the joy out of work.

    A blessing from working in this field is it provided me the ability to experience more in life. I loved sailing and eventually got a USCG Masters Captain's license (sailing endorsement) and almost started a sailing business. I learned to fly and hold an inactive PPT, single engine land. I've been able to travel to Europe a number of times and experience it from more then just the surface view. In the past 7 years I was able to explore my other passion, horses, and purchase a small farm. The approach for me was and is not to be so single-minded in the pursuit of money that I miss out on what is really much more important, life. What I would love is to find that balance between doing what I love, programming and the fulfillment I get in taking care of horses. While not as brilliant as some on SN, I like to think my life experiences add some perspective to the conversations.

    --
    The more things change, the more they look the same
    • (Score: 2) by tynin on Monday March 17 2014, @05:05PM

      by tynin (2013) on Monday March 17 2014, @05:05PM (#17699) Journal

      I'm only in my 30's and I hate reading about the ageism in this industry. Makes me realize you either have to make it big... somehow... or go into management. Ugh.

      Anyhow, I hope I can experience much of what you have. I've only been to Europe once, and dream of the day I can get my PPT. It sounds like you've had a very enjoyable life so far. I hope you are able to continue to have these experiences. Thanks for sharing!

      • (Score: 1) by dr zim on Monday March 17 2014, @06:12PM

        by dr zim (748) on Monday March 17 2014, @06:12PM (#17734)

        Makes me realize you either have to make it big... somehow... or go into management.

        Similar to the parent post, I'm an older IT worker. But instead of going into management or striking it rich, I think I've avoided age discrimination (so far) by providing value to the organizations I've worked with. Attitude is everything.

        Oh, Negro Modelo FTW :)

    • (Score: 2) by buswolley on Monday March 17 2014, @06:28PM

      by buswolley (848) on Monday March 17 2014, @06:28PM (#17742)

      Oh great! You can be our resident Flight 370 expert.

      So what's your take ;)

      --
      subicular junctures
  • (Score: 2) by metamonkey on Monday March 17 2014, @04:50PM

    by metamonkey (3174) on Monday March 17 2014, @04:50PM (#17693)

    I am a meat popsicle.

    Also, analyst.

    --
    Okay 3, 2, 1, let's jam.
  • (Score: 2) by JeanCroix on Monday March 17 2014, @05:27PM

    by JeanCroix (573) on Monday March 17 2014, @05:27PM (#17708)
    I was going to say "a meat popsicle," but kudos to the one who beat me to it. So I'll go with Defense Aerospace Engineer.
  • (Score: 2, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @05:58PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 17 2014, @05:58PM (#17727)

    When people invariably ask, "Who are you? What do you do?", I typically provide a first answer as "I love my wife and kids." I try to make that my first priority in life. I enjoy spending time with my wife. She's my best friend. I enjoy my kids, either playing with them or trying to teach them things.

    I like to play video games. But nowadays, so does everyone. But not Angry Birds...I like turn-based tactics and RPGs.

    I like to read. I like to play and watch sports. I like the ocean. I like science and learning.

    But people always want an employment answer. On that side, its hard for me to answer.

    Am I a software engineer? Sure, I write a lot of code. But seriously, who gives a shit? A lot of people can write code. The real value is, what does your code do? What problems does it solve?

    Am I a highly paid consultant? OK, then hate me on general principles.

    Am I an entrepreneur? A business owner/businessman? What does that even mean? An independent plumber is an entrepreneur (whom I have a lot of respect for...his/her job is probably more stable than mine.)

    My code does some really nifty analytics-type things. I've helped companies streamline their IT infrastructures and save a bunch of money. i.e. You can consolidate those switches. Your vCenters are underutilized. You don't need to upgrade all your servers to SSD....here are the ones that need it.

    So take whatever answer you want.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday March 19 2014, @03:33AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday March 19 2014, @03:33AM (#18385)

      I have always wanted to answer that question in a similar, non-job related way, but without sounding like an asshole. Let me know if you ever figure that last part out.

  • (Score: 2) by dr zim on Monday March 17 2014, @05:59PM

    by dr zim (748) on Monday March 17 2014, @05:59PM (#17728)

    Once you label me, you negate me. -- Soren Kierkegaard

    I earn my living by writing code, but I am many things. Focusing on any one of them would paint a very one dimensional picture of the onion that is I. I've always felt sorry for people that choose to sum up their lives by their profession.

    • (Score: 3, Informative) by buswolley on Monday March 17 2014, @06:32PM

      by buswolley (848) on Monday March 17 2014, @06:32PM (#17744)

      The question is, "What do you do?" not, "What is your profession?"
      I can't help that you conflate the two. I am a neuroscientist. Trust me, you don't do it for the pay. So I'm lucky to have one of those jobs that is more than a job, it is a passion. However, I am also a writer of melodies, dabbler in whatever,love my family and wife, and so on.

      --
      subicular junctures
  • (Score: 2, Informative) by kbahey on Monday March 17 2014, @06:50PM

    by kbahey (1147) on Monday March 17 2014, @06:50PM (#17752) Homepage

    I am an Open Source developer and web performance consultant who makes his living entirely from open source.

    At first I started with a Sinclair ZX Spectrum as a computer enthusiast, 30 years ago. Then worked professionally with mainframes (1985), then UNIX (1987), along with PCs.

    Moved to Linux in the mid to late 1990s, then the LAMP stack in the late 1990s.

    Became a contributor to the Drupal [drupal.org] content management system.

    I am still a command line kind of guy, and use Linux at home and for work exclusively.

    Co-founded 2bits.com Inc. [2bits.com] which provides LAMP stack performance optimization and consulting, specially for Drupal, but also for WordPress and other PHP applications.

    My personal blog can be found at Baheyeldin.com [baheyeldin.com].

  • (Score: 2, Informative) by Worchaa on Monday March 17 2014, @07:19PM

    by Worchaa (447) on Monday March 17 2014, @07:19PM (#17759)

    ...Musician. I am a credentialed K-12 music teacher who has performed professionally on trombone with symphony + stage pit orchestras and big bands.

    My current gig is composing commercial music for video games.

    And yes-- my workdays kick ass.

    --
    - Marching Band: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
    • (Score: 1) by Buck Feta on Wednesday March 19 2014, @03:35AM

      by Buck Feta (958) on Wednesday March 19 2014, @03:35AM (#18387) Journal

      I loved your work on Trombone Hero 2!

      --
      - fractious political commentary goes here -
  • (Score: 1) by tomato666 on Monday March 17 2014, @07:53PM

    by tomato666 (354) on Monday March 17 2014, @07:53PM (#17772)

    I am the possessor of a fine hammer, looking for nails.

  • (Score: 2, Informative) by dentonj on Monday March 17 2014, @08:03PM

    by dentonj (1309) on Monday March 17 2014, @08:03PM (#17777)

    keyboard repair specialist.

  • (Score: 1) by new here on Monday March 17 2014, @08:17PM

    by new here (1931) on Monday March 17 2014, @08:17PM (#17781)

    I am new here. In my spare time, I fantasize about my lawn mowing itself.

  • (Score: 2, Funny) by elgrantrolo on Monday March 17 2014, @09:27PM

    by elgrantrolo (1903) on Monday March 17 2014, @09:27PM (#17805) Journal

    huahahaha

    more seriously, I work in sales, indirectly for Microsoft.

  • (Score: 3, Informative) by mechanicjay on Monday March 17 2014, @09:58PM

    by mechanicjay (7) <mechanicjayNO@SPAMsoylentnews.org> on Monday March 17 2014, @09:58PM (#17811) Homepage Journal

    Currently, I do the following in order of importance:

    1. Husband/Father
    2. Systems Engineer for a small University
    3. Adjunct Lecturer of Computer Science at said University
    4. Sysadmin for SoylentNews
    5. Member of the Mid-Atlantic Retro Computing Hobbyists [midatlanticretro.org]
    6. A total car nut

    Basically a jack of all trades when it comes to technology, but mostly I try to focus on web infrastructure, application delivery and building solutions that just work. For the future, I'd really like to decouple myself from a physical workplace so I can take my family to live in more interesting parts of the country.

    --
    My VMS box beat up your Windows box.
  • (Score: 2, Informative) by Deflagro on Monday March 17 2014, @10:02PM

    by Deflagro (1978) on Monday March 17 2014, @10:02PM (#17813)

    I work for a standards org as a product manager. I certify things :)

  • (Score: 1) by jayjay.br on Tuesday March 18 2014, @12:38AM

    by jayjay.br (1849) on Tuesday March 18 2014, @12:38AM (#17863)

    I'll go with Cowboy Astronaut Millionaire, of course.

  • (Score: 2, Interesting) by Scandiacus on Tuesday March 18 2014, @12:47AM

    by Scandiacus (1956) on Tuesday March 18 2014, @12:47AM (#17865)

    I am a recent college graduate (BA in Computer Science). I work as a software consultant doing random work and building experience. My hobbies no longer revolve as heavily around computers as they did in my teenage years, and now involve mainly following politics, backpacking, hunting, reading and writing science fiction, and writing data analysis software for my planetary geologist brother (he's lucky it's fun or I wouldn't work for free!). I live alone but have many friends, and even a few close ones. I am a Christian and spend a lot of time being frustrated with those of my faith who lack much scientific literacy (young-earth, anti-evolution creationists, I'm lookin' at you) - I do what I can to dissuade them from their viewpoints. And that's all I have to say about that.

  • (Score: 2) by Reziac on Tuesday March 18 2014, @01:00AM

    by Reziac (2489) on Tuesday March 18 2014, @01:00AM (#17871) Homepage

    ...what the hell did you THINK I did here, anyway??

  • (Score: 2, Informative) by dpp on Tuesday March 18 2014, @01:30AM

    by dpp (3579) on Tuesday March 18 2014, @01:30AM (#17878)

    I usually explain to people that I have two careers - the one I like and the one I love!
    ["Day Job"]
    Started into IT writing video games at age 9, oddly enough (perhaps not on this site?) enjoyed that much more than playing computer games.
    Professional career thus far was mostly as computer programmer.
    Shifted into Sales Engineering and Solution Architecture, chasing a bit more income and more customer interaction.

    However...
    ["Second Job" evenings and weekends on occasion]
    I've been a passionate scuba diver since the 80s and became an instructor in the late 90s.
    Perhaps others here have experienced something similar - I've toyed with the idea of changing my primary career to the one I love (scuba) but the income and consistency of work is very different (read: "less").
    Whilst I love IT - am a true geek/nerd/science enthusiast/techie through and through... However, teaching scuba is much more rewarding to me (and involves a decent amount of science).
    I'm feeling a bit "too old" at this point to completely change careers, but I can't help but think that I could've satisfied the science passion with nature/underwater passion if I'd gone into marine biology or some such.

    ["Settled"/"Sold out"?]
    Don't know how common my type of story is in IT/tech industry, or how it compares to other industries, but I imagine that there are others on SN who "settled" for sticking with their primary job due to income concerns.

  • (Score: 1) by Optimus Prime on Tuesday March 18 2014, @09:04AM

    by Optimus Prime (358) on Tuesday March 18 2014, @09:04AM (#17969)

    Unemployed. In need of a good IT job at a small company. Meaning a good IT job in terms of good workplace environment. I've come from an odd position of touching upon networking, software installs, data manipulation, data design, printers... ect. Primary job was a data processor of a small company, but did way more than that. Lots of self troubleshooting, calling support, learning new stuff all the time. Asked do investigate something, find a solution through support or online, follow instructions on how to do it, and move on to something different constantly.

    NE Ohio area.