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posted by Fnord666 on Monday February 03 2020, @09:20PM   Printer-friendly
from the it's-a-tough-life dept.

PETA wants to replace Punxsutawney Phil with an animatronic AI:

When we imagine the future of artificial intelligence, we tend to think of the technology making most human jobs obsolete. But if PETA has its way, an AI could also take over for the world's most famous groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil. In a letter signed by PETA founder and president Ingrid Newkirk, the organization calls on the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club, the group that takes care of the world-famous woodchuck, to allow the rodent to retire and let a robot like Sony's adorable Aibo dog take over the job of predicting the weather.

"Using technologically advanced electromechanical devices such as animatronics instead of live animals is more popular than ever," wrote Newkirk. "We even have the technology to create an animatronic groundhog with artificial intelligence (AI) that could actually predict [PETA's emphasis, not Engadget's] the weather."

The way the group sees it, not only would an AI be better at estimating when the winter will end, but it would also attract an entirely new generation of visitors to the western Pennsylvanian town. "Today's young people are born into a world of terabytes, and to them, watching a nocturnal rodent being pulled from a fake hole isn't even worthy of a text message," Newkirk said. "Ignoring the nation's fast-changing demographics might well prove the end of Groundhog Day."


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  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday February 03 2020, @09:29PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday February 03 2020, @09:29PM (#953297)

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Man_of_the_Mountain#After_the_collapse [wikipedia.org]

    Like that replacement of the natural with artificial, this should be rejected.

  • (Score: 4, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Monday February 03 2020, @09:38PM (2 children)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday February 03 2020, @09:38PM (#953302)

    Nature would like to replace PETA with an AI.
    It would not have to be very complicated, in fact something a college student might be able to turn out over a weekend. Or simpler.

  • (Score: 4, Funny) by DannyB on Monday February 03 2020, @09:41PM (1 child)

    by DannyB (5839) Subscriber Badge on Monday February 03 2020, @09:41PM (#953303) Journal

    Animatronics doesn't do justice to the tradition. It takes the central character out of it.

    Not only do animatronic animals need maintenance, but they would emit toxic fumes when they are cooked for a meal.

    People love real animals. Especially when they are not over cooked.

    PETA = People Eating Tasty Animals

    Don't allow them to take the tasty animals away.

    --
    Why is it so difficult to break a heroine addiction?
    • (Score: 2) by jdavidb on Monday February 03 2020, @09:52PM

      by jdavidb (5690) on Monday February 03 2020, @09:52PM (#953310) Homepage Journal

      Not only do animatronic animals need maintenance, but they would emit toxic fumes when they are cooked for a meal.

      Groundhog Day used to mean something in this town. They used to pull the hog out, and they used to EAT it. You're hypocrites, all of you!

      --
      ⓋⒶ☮✝🕊 Secession is the right of all sentient beings
  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday February 03 2020, @09:44PM (1 child)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday February 03 2020, @09:44PM (#953305)

    Fried groundhog recipe
    Dip the severed groundhog carcass into the scrambled remains of a chickens unborn children.
    Roll the carcass pieces in the left over breadcrumbs you've been feeding it.
    Drop into fryer until the epidermis starts to blister.
    Serve with red wine.

    • (Score: 2) by DannyB on Monday February 03 2020, @09:56PM

      by DannyB (5839) Subscriber Badge on Monday February 03 2020, @09:56PM (#953312) Journal

      Red wine and cheese whiz.

      --
      Why is it so difficult to break a heroine addiction?
  • (Score: 2) by krishnoid on Monday February 03 2020, @09:50PM (1 child)

    by krishnoid (1156) on Monday February 03 2020, @09:50PM (#953307)

    Crush ... kill ... destroy ... aaah, my image recognition has identified an enemy wolf. Or maybe it's a shadow -- we're still working on the false positive rate. Retreat!

    Well, now that I think about it, that sounds about right. I also wonder how PETA justifies an AIBO's carbon footprint over Phil's.

    • (Score: 2) by MostCynical on Monday February 03 2020, @10:01PM

      by MostCynical (2589) on Monday February 03 2020, @10:01PM (#953315) Journal

      Once all the humans are dead, no one has to worry about carbon emissions

      --
      "I guess once you start doubting, there's no end to it." -Batou, Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex
  • (Score: 5, Insightful) by Snotnose on Monday February 03 2020, @10:48PM (2 children)

    by Snotnose (1623) Subscriber Badge on Monday February 03 2020, @10:48PM (#953326)

    it's not worth paying attention to them anymore.

    I'm guessing ol' Phil is the most pampered groundhog in the existence of groundhogs. Dude has a warm house, plenty of food, no predators. The only thing asked of him? Get held up under his shoulders 1 day a year for the TV cameras.

    --
    Of course I'm against DEI. Donald, Eric, and Ivanka.
    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday February 03 2020, @11:04PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday February 03 2020, @11:04PM (#953329)

      But they're making him get up early in the morning! And they probably don't give him any coffee.

    • (Score: 2) by Thexalon on Tuesday February 04 2020, @03:17PM

      by Thexalon (636) on Tuesday February 04 2020, @03:17PM (#953571)

      They've never been worth listening to.

      Some things a lot of people didn't used to know about PETA:
      - They kill approximately 90% of the animals that have been put into their shelter. Right at PETA HQ, no less.
      - There is substantial evidence they've funded arson and bombing of animal research labs.
      - They consider all pets and all domesticated animals to be effectively slaves. Never mind that domesticated animals have a deal that wild animals would probably gladly kill for, namely a safe place to sleep and regular meals.

      If you actually care about animal welfare, don't donate to PETA. Donate to your local humane society and / or animal shelter, spay and neuter your pets, support wild land conservation efforts, and even supporting zoos would be a better option.

      --
      "Think of how stupid the average person is. Then realize half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin
  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday February 03 2020, @11:13PM (1 child)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday February 03 2020, @11:13PM (#953331)

    AI pretty much isn't.
    So in the near term, it can't replace the Phil.

    Ingrid, perhaps?

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday February 03 2020, @11:57PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday February 03 2020, @11:57PM (#953345)

      As noted in an earlier comment, it would not take much of an Ai to replace PETA. A very basic three-node Neural Net should about do.

  • (Score: -1, Troll) by Anonymous Coward on Monday February 03 2020, @11:31PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday February 03 2020, @11:31PM (#953338)

    This sort of nonsense makes it less likely that anyone will pay attention to serious animal right issues, like getting negroes out of prison.

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday February 03 2020, @11:34PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday February 03 2020, @11:34PM (#953339)

    It's clear that PETA's true motivation is to eat Phil while no one is looking. They want to liberate him... right into their stomachs.

  • (Score: 3, Interesting) by Farkus888 on Tuesday February 04 2020, @12:00AM (2 children)

    by Farkus888 (5159) on Tuesday February 04 2020, @12:00AM (#953347)

    I can feel their overwhelming concern and love for Phil in the fact that they can't even be bothered to know when he sleeps. Like many PETA announcements, this is just designed to get clicks and make us rant about Ingrid being diabetic and where her insulin comes from.

    • (Score: 1) by Ethanol-fueled on Tuesday February 04 2020, @12:30AM

      by Ethanol-fueled (2792) on Tuesday February 04 2020, @12:30AM (#953352) Homepage

      All PETA should be deported to fucking China. There's plenty there to keep them busy.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday February 04 2020, @06:29AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday February 04 2020, @06:29AM (#953444)

      I got to that and wondered if I was the one who was incorrect in their understanding. I checked multiple sites to make sure, but no they were wrong. Interestingly though, while in a mood for web searches, I did run into interesting information about PETA's tacit support for violent direct action, campaigning to make pets or service animals illegal, as well as being pro-euthanasia and pro-killing of shelter animals.

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday February 04 2020, @01:40AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday February 04 2020, @01:40AM (#953367)

    dumbest article ever!

  • (Score: 3, Funny) by The Mighty Buzzard on Tuesday February 04 2020, @05:59AM

    by The Mighty Buzzard (18) Subscriber Badge <themightybuzzard@proton.me> on Tuesday February 04 2020, @05:59AM (#953438) Homepage Journal

    SKYNET be damned, this is where the machines first take control.

    --
    My rights don't end where your fear begins.
  • (Score: 2) by edIII on Tuesday February 04 2020, @08:38AM (1 child)

    by edIII (791) on Tuesday February 04 2020, @08:38AM (#953473)

    The way the group sees it, not only would an AI be better at estimating when the winter will end, but it would also attract an entirely new generation of visitors to the western Pennsylvanian town. "Today's young people are born into a world of terabytes, and to them, watching a nocturnal rodent being pulled from a fake hole isn't even worthy of a text message," Newkirk said.

    It's like they actually believe that accurately predicting the weather has anything to do with the ceremony. It's an excuse to have a local fair, and there are far more quirky local customs. It's just meant to be for fun.

    --
    Technically, lunchtime is at any moment. It's just a wave function.
    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday February 04 2020, @10:41AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday February 04 2020, @10:41AM (#953506)

      Indeed, I'm especially amused by the

      '..."Today's young people are born into a world of terabytes, and to them, watching a nocturnal rodent being pulled from a fake hole isn't even worthy of a text message,"..'

      Funny, these self-same young people seem to be inordinately interested in the antics of another dumb animal plucked from an obscure hole and into the media spotlight, unfortunately for the rest of us, more than once a year.

      Indeed, many of these oh-so-tech-savvy young people seem to hang on to every inane bleating noise said creature emits, and, coupled with the pathetic gurnings it's poor(sic) wee face makes as it does so, they somehow believe that said creature is capable of predicting the future of the planet, and they wont.fucking.shut.up.about.her online....and print media...and tv..

      There is a place in this sorry old world for organisations like PETA, yes, I'm all for PETA....sorry, let's try that again, yes, I'm all for rounding up all PETA members, loading them into a couple of C5s, and dropping them into the middle of the Amazon and/or Congo forests (parachutes optional, they're so fucking sanctimonious they shouldn't need them, Gaia herself will surely intervene and break their fall...one way or another). Middle of a large tropical forest, perfect bloody place for them..

      No, I did not work alongside a couple of these PETA nutters for a while...and no, I've not had my morning cup of tea yet...why do you ask?

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