from the we-promise-little-to-no-injury-or-your-money-back dept.
Fantastical News Everyone! Remember an earlier SN article about CELLMATE, a male chastity device that got hacked and would not unlock your hardware? Well, now the maker of that IoT device says it's now totally safe to put your equipment into their device once again! They promise! This time for sure! Nothing could go wrong!
While we've covered the Internet of Broken Things for some time, where companies fail to secure the devices they sell which connect to the internet, the entire genre sort of jumped the shark in October of last year. That's when Qiui, a Chinese company, was found to have sold a penis chastity lock that communicates with an API that was wide open and sans any password protection. The end result is that users of a device that locks up their private parts could enjoy those private parts entirely at the pleasure of nefarious third parties. Qiui pushed out a fix to the API... but didn't do so for existing users, only new devices. Why? Well, the company stated that pushing it out to existing devices would again cause them to all lock up, with no override available. Understandably, there wasn't a whole lot of interest in the company's devices at that point.
But fear not, target market for penis chastity locks! Qiui says it's now totally safe to use the product again!
Since this device uses a proprietary API, there is still the issue of Vendor Lock In to be concerned about.
Related Stories
Cellmate: Male chastity gadget hack could lock users in:
A security flaw in a hi-tech chastity belt for men made it possible for hackers to remotely lock all the devices in use simultaneously.
The internet-linked sheath has no manual override, so owners might have been faced with the prospect of having to use a grinder or bolt cutter to free themselves from its metal clamp.
The sex toy's app has been fixed by its Chinese developer after a team of UK security professionals flagged the bug.
This could be useful to anyone still using the old version of the app who finds themselves locked in as a result of an attacker making use of the revelation.
Any other attempt to cut through the device's plastic body poses a risk of harm.
[...] The security researchers said they discovered a way to fool the server into disclosing the registered name of each device owner, among other personal details, as well as the co-ordinates of every location from where the app had been used.
In addition, they said, they could reveal a unique code that had been assigned to each device.
These could be used to make the server ignore app requests to unlock any of the identified chastity toys, they added, leaving wearers locked in.
Also at The Verge and gizmodo.
(Score: 4, Funny) by pvanhoof on Thursday February 11 2021, @05:48PM (7 children)
Wonder what happens when we send some UTF-8 Character Combination to the device ..
(Score: 2) by DannyB on Thursday February 11 2021, @06:16PM (4 children)
Twenty years ago . . . Java's XML parser upchucks, gets into some kind of loop condition, allocating and then releasing more and more memory. The Garbage Collector then generates a gigantic pause bringing down the entire production system. Adding another 64 GB of memory to the server merely delays the inevitable. The cloud server never sends the devices their unlock commands. Many Bothans [fandom.com] died to bring us this information.
Today, people realize that characters and bytes are two different things.
I'm holding out for UTF-640 instead of UTF-8. Because 640 bits per character ought to be enough for anyone.
When you GOTO a dark place, always PEEK before you POKE.
(Score: 2) by progo on Thursday February 11 2021, @06:53PM (3 children)
640 bits might be enough to encode all possibly emoji as a distinct name of an idea.
(Score: 3, Funny) by DannyB on Thursday February 11 2021, @07:19PM (2 children)
Imagine that a font includes a set of glyphs1 that draw every possible 8x8 grid of squares with some squares white and some black. That is 2^64 characters (and corresponding glyphs). In a 2^640 space, you can easily carve out a space of 2^64 extra characters. That would now give us a set of characters that can draw every 8x8 dot matrix pattern there is, including all of the old green screen CRT fonts.
With UTF-640 we can also have characters for every known science fiction language. Klingon. Vorlon. Etc.
In the future, human language will be all emojis and the familiar alphabet of our ancestors will be long forgetted. It will be possible for all ideas to be expressed using only emojis. Everyone will have forgotten how to repair the ancient machines that were built by their ancestors. Smartphones will stop receiving upgrades, but also no more hackers.
1Glyph ("gliff") - the visual image or shape that is drawn for a character. For example, the outline shape that causes the letter T to be drawn the way you expect to see it.
When you GOTO a dark place, always PEEK before you POKE.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @08:39AM (1 child)
Silly question time. Then why not just generate the nonstandard chars? As in like BMP.. Then compress the bits to hex?
<c AC7362EAaC>
Or is that just too much and unwieldy for when you want to "paint" a character?
Is this better or worse than all of these font libraries?
I could write this in JS...
First bit - 0 white background 1 = black
Allow for single bit paint, cords with outline or fill, sect or circle or triangle,
Can have defaults line outline vs fill in a configuration at character or page or scope level...
If contains coords then paint opposite color to BG - 0,2 4,4 for a rectangle..
In theory you could paint anything..
(Score: 2) by DannyB on Friday February 12 2021, @03:57PM
What you suggest is interesting, but contains too much sanity to ever be adopted by any standards setting committee. Especially an international standard setting committee.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
When you GOTO a dark place, always PEEK before you POKE.
(Score: 2) by VLM on Thursday February 11 2021, @06:26PM (1 child)
Was that the actual problem? I was hoping for a Little Bobby Tables story.
Either way you want to sanitize everything when talking about chastity cages (LOL best joke I came up with so far, thx!)
(Score: 2) by DannyB on Thursday February 11 2021, @06:30PM
In any event, if you hack it, this will be vigorlessly persecuted to the foolest extent of the law!
When you GOTO a dark place, always PEEK before you POKE.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 11 2021, @06:03PM (25 children)
Is the light switch.
(Score: 2) by DannyB on Thursday February 11 2021, @06:07PM (24 children)
I haven't heard of that one. How does it work?
When you GOTO a dark place, always PEEK before you POKE.
(Score: 2, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 11 2021, @06:12PM (9 children)
You flip the switch on and the female immediately ceases to want to perform procreation-related-actions with you due to your face.
(Score: 2) by DannyB on Thursday February 11 2021, @06:25PM (5 children)
Not if one is properly wearing a mask to prevent catching any type of disease from their partner.
When you GOTO a dark place, always PEEK before you POKE.
(Score: 2) by The Mighty Buzzard on Thursday February 11 2021, @06:29PM (4 children)
The Roomie is following Whitehouse guidance on double masking now. He started wearing a Hugh Jackman picture with eye holes under his Deadpool mask.
My rights don't end where your fear begins.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 11 2021, @06:50PM (3 children)
"The Roomie"
suspicious
we may be coming up on a breakthrough for TMB
(Score: 2) by Freeman on Thursday February 11 2021, @07:00PM (2 children)
Considering that's not the first time, he's mentioned having a "roomie", you're reading way too much into it.
Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee"
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 11 2021, @07:26PM
It was the proposal for a Whitehouse "Odd Couple" TV show that caused many of us to read too much into it. Not that there is anything wrong with that. But the supporting of bigoted anti-LGBQT Republicans, that is not OK.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @12:08AM
Considering the context of wearing a mask to avoid getting diseases from your sexual partners, mentioning your "roommate" and their propensity to wear two masks has a certain "Sappho and her friend" vibe.
(Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 11 2021, @08:38PM (2 children)
The reason he didn't "get" your joke (and neither did I) is because chastity is SELF-IMPOSED. In your joke, the man wasn't chaste at all; the female refused him. To fix your joke, you should change "chastity" to "birth control device."
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @06:54AM (1 child)
But, the problem with all of this is, besides the bizarre notion of "chastity devices" outside of succession to the throne in some medieval country, like Formerly Grate Britain, is that "inchaste" has the connotation of a negation, as with "incontinent" "incapable" or "incest". Now in the parlance of our time (but not on Parler, since delenda est), "incel" is a shortening, a, what do you call it? a shortening of "involuntary celibate", which I understand was originally "invcel", but since that is too weird and to pronounce which something in your mouth, as shortened further to "incel". Not the "in" in "incel" has not negatory connotation, and in fact reinforces the fact of celibacy. "Inchaste" on the other hand, runs the risk of being the same as "unchaste", which would suggest the male equivalents of promiscuity, like "man-whore", "gigilo", Bobby, or Proud Boy. None of those are the intended meanings, so I suggest we drop the whole topic, lock it up in a device that would leave no ambiguity about whether one has had sex, or not, like just the term "incel".
Now, as for an "involuntary involuntary celibate", does the rule of the double negative apply, or no?
(Score: 2) by FatPhil on Friday February 12 2021, @08:48AM
Ari (worked it out by /delenda est/, it took so long because of these uncharacteristic slips), there is no "inchaste", only "unchaste", there's no need for any new coinings for distinctions without a difference, your risk is imaginary. I'm also surprised you didn't highlight that "unchaste" is at its core the *same* word as "incest", both were ~"lacking purity" in their latinate origins. And a bonus cookie for those who love racist trivia, it's the same origin as "caste" too.
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people; the smallest discuss themselves
(Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Thursday February 11 2021, @06:13PM (3 children)
I think you tape a hot wire and a common wire from the switch to the guy's anatomy. If he shows any interest in nearby females, you flip the switch to give him a shock.
“I have become friends with many school shooters” - Tampon Tim Walz
(Score: 5, Funny) by DannyB on Thursday February 11 2021, @06:23PM
Peel back the coating to learn the shocking secret of why electrical cords have insulation.
When you GOTO a dark place, always PEEK before you POKE.
(Score: 2) by The Mighty Buzzard on Thursday February 11 2021, @06:25PM (1 child)
Nah, still not enough disincentive.
My rights don't end where your fear begins.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @12:10AM
Make it from the innards of a taser.
That oughta wilt anything.
(Score: 4, Interesting) by VLM on Thursday February 11 2021, @06:24PM (3 children)
Well, the Venn diagram of nudists and folks who wear chastity cages or whatever at pride parades has quite a bit of overlap.
And people like to daydream about nudists as if they all 20 year old athlete exhibitionists. Which is ironic looking at female sport uniforms because girls/women actually have to be exhibitionists to wear many sport uniforms, whereas male uniforms are not hypersexualized. Anyway actual nudists tend toward old age and sedentary lifestyle because the young hotties have the worst self esteem issues and body image problems, so the folks on the beach are like 50+ and 300+ because it takes a certain "fuckitall" attitude to visit a nude beach. I've noticed people at the beach get along pretty well because like I said there's an intense personality filter required for admission so everyone there is of a like mind. Not all are ancient and fat but I'm well aware I'm an exception and I'm not one of those anti-science denialists who don't believe in statistics. I suppose over 300 it doesn't really matter pounds or kg its not gonna look good.
So aside from niche pr0n videos online, the vast majority of chastity cages people see in public are worn by ... conventionally unattractive dudes. Therefore "turn on the light" and instant chastity most people are not going to consider the wearers very attractive on average.
(Score: 2) by Freeman on Thursday February 11 2021, @06:57PM
The uniform thing for sports, tends to hold true. Except where swimming competitions are involved. The guys have less on than the girls, by a fairly significant margin and those speedos gotta be snug.
Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee"
(Score: 2) by Azuma Hazuki on Friday February 12 2021, @12:12AM (1 child)
...why do you know this?
I am "that girl" your mother warned you about...
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @12:44AM
fat german tourists on holiday?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 11 2021, @06:43PM (5 children)
When the light goes on, you suddenly realize you are not really in bed with Nancy Pelosi, and your erection fails.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 11 2021, @08:41PM
Pelosi would be like fucking the mummy of Queen Hapshetsut with a fresh coat of lipstick.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 11 2021, @10:45PM (3 children)
Nancy Pelosi is the ultimate Chasity device for me.
Just the thought of her...all sex drive immediately fails.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @12:33AM (2 children)
That's because you're a Trumpfucker.
Just like the other Trump-humpers, nothing else matters to you. It's all you can think about.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @02:49AM (1 child)
Sorry, the wicked witch of the west does nothing for me. Maybe if she was 40 years younger... Or breaking me off a little bit of that quarter-billion networth.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @06:59AM
But you would suck the cock of the God-emperor in a New York second? Man, that is some really perverted authoritarian shit. You would have done the same for Idi Amin, Hitler, or Khadaffi? Of course you would. Cocksucker to one dictator, cocksucker to all.
What you can't stand is the democratic majority being in power, since they your skills are useless! Sucks to be you! Or, sucks to be you not sucking! Ha ha ha!!
(Score: 2) by progo on Thursday February 11 2021, @06:40PM (1 child)
By commonly understood definition, "Internet of Things" means insecure.
(Score: 3, Funny) by DannyB on Thursday February 11 2021, @07:21PM
There is also the Security Hardened Internet of Things.
Or simply: SHIoT
When you GOTO a dark place, always PEEK before you POKE.
(Score: 1) by fustakrakich on Thursday February 11 2021, @06:41PM
Now, Mr. Chan, about your phone bill...
La politica e i criminali sono la stessa cosa..
(Score: 2) by HiThere on Thursday February 11 2021, @06:57PM (9 children)
What warranty are they offering to customers? How are they planning to get out of it? Or are they just saying "trust us"?
Javascript is what you use to allow unknown third parties to run software you have no idea about on your computer.
(Score: 2) by DannyB on Thursday February 11 2021, @07:22PM
Did you see the "department" line in small print?
When you GOTO a dark place, always PEEK before you POKE.
(Score: 2) by DannyB on Thursday February 11 2021, @07:26PM (5 children)
I also forgot to point out, if you were to read the prior SN article about this device (which I linked in article), you would find that if the device is locked, it really was possible to remove it with an angle grinder to cut it off. I mean cut the device's bolt, not cut . . . uh, nevermind.
But some picky people wouldn't want an angle grinder near their bits.
When you GOTO a dark place, always PEEK before you POKE.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @08:46AM
Installment of such a device on one's family jewels is pretty much admitting that there may be an emergency department visit with non optional power tool application to one's private sensitive parts in the future.
What's wrong with a decent hacksaw? Besides the additional time it would take.
(Score: 2) by FatPhil on Friday February 12 2021, @08:59AM (3 children)
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people; the smallest discuss themselves
(Score: 2) by DannyB on Friday February 12 2021, @03:51PM (2 children)
Would that device fit? Once it begins stretching a metal ring in one direction, does the perpendicular direction begin to contract and, uh, squeeze things?
When you GOTO a dark place, always PEEK before you POKE.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @09:01PM
Squeezing is unlikely to be much of an issue for the duration of removal, the bigger issue is that when it does break, there's likely to then be sharp bits of metal directly in contact with skin. Really, this is a situation where the device should be engineered in a way that you can safely cut enough of it to get it off if you have an emergency situation. Considering that most folks that have any idea what they're doing keep a set of trauma sheers on hand when engaged in bondage for cutting away belts or ropes if they need to get somebody out quickly, you'd think there'd be some thought put into the need to quickly remove the gear if something does happen.
(Score: 2) by FatPhil on Friday February 12 2021, @11:16PM
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people; the smallest discuss themselves
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @12:14AM (1 child)
Read the "terms and conditions".
If you have ANY intelligence, that oughta keep you away from the "Buy Now" button.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @12:38AM
That advice should go for anything offered on the web.
(Score: 5, Interesting) by Freeman on Thursday February 11 2021, @07:07PM (9 children)
It's either just another weird kinky thing for people with fetishes. Or, it's for dumb people. I guess, evil could be fit in there too, if someone wanted to use it in a non-consensual manner. In the event that you don't trust your partner. There's something seriously wrong with the relationship. In the event that it's just a kinky/fetish thing, different strokes for different folks. Still, it's pretty weird and kind of dangerous to trust something like that to the internet.
Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee"
(Score: 1) by dioxide on Thursday February 11 2021, @07:22PM
Pretty sure this is going to just end up as an onlyfans prop.
(Score: 2) by EJ on Thursday February 11 2021, @09:10PM (3 children)
I'm going with dumb. Yes. Some fetishes are dumb. I can say that because my opinion doesn't invalidate yours. It's just my opinion.
If you're trying to use it in a practical manner, then it's also dumb because you should never be with anyone you don't trust. The end. No discussion. If you feel the need to make your partner wear this, then they should not be your partner.
I feel the same way about people who can't let their ex go. If they don't want to be with you, then they are no longer a part of your life. Get over it.
(Score: 2) by Freeman on Thursday February 11 2021, @09:14PM (1 child)
Well, that last part gets a lot more complicated, if you had kids with said ex.
Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee"
(Score: 3, Insightful) by EJ on Thursday February 11 2021, @10:24PM
I mean people who don't want to accept that the romantic relationship is over. If you don't have kids, then let them live their life in peace without ever hearing from you again. If you do have kids, then still let them live their lives in peace, and only interact with them relating to the kids' needs.
(Score: 2) by FatPhil on Friday February 12 2021, @09:07AM
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people; the smallest discuss themselves
(Score: 3, Insightful) by darkfeline on Thursday February 11 2021, @09:29PM (2 children)
I'm pretty sure old fashioned analog chastity devices are better for both the fetish and trust/control aspect. Why would you ever want to unlock a chastity device remotely? I imagine the partner would always want to be present to unlock it. Or maybe you're in some weird consensual polyamorous relationship where certain partners get a specific day of the week? That market would be exceedingly small.
Join the SDF Public Access UNIX System today!
(Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 11 2021, @11:34PM
I just can't get into the theater and all the props. It seems like a pointless pain in the butt. Guess that's why I'm not into it. Too much work.
(Score: 3, Touché) by FatPhil on Friday February 12 2021, @09:09AM
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people; the smallest discuss themselves
(Score: 5, Insightful) by coolgopher on Friday February 12 2021, @02:12AM
I wouldn't say dumb, just ignorant. The vast majority of the population, which does not frequent forums such as this, are simply unaware of the woeful state of security practice in the IoT space (or on the internet in general, for that matter). We don't call people dumb for not knowing the details of how a car is designed and assembled; calling them dumb for not knowing how an IoT device is designed and assembled is unfair.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @02:36AM (2 children)
When does Snow get one to keep him away from his two women. Well, as of the last time we heard anything from Snow. For all we know he could very well be out in the snow and have zero women now.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @07:05AM (1 child)
Oh, no! Snow! Perhaps one of the two women insisted on the Alpha version of said device, and there was a terrible angle-grinder mishap in the attempt to remove it? I am having very bad feelings about this, now. How long has it been since we have heard from our non-Mormon non-Muslim polygynist?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @04:07PM
It has been *way* too long since an update.
Which is worrisome. No update implies that there was a massive train wreck in his dealings, and that Snow is really out in the snow with zero women.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @08:49AM (1 child)
These devices don't have a secondary method, such as a physical key, to unlock?
This is like having a zapper for unlocking your car but no key for the door. Asking for it, really.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @04:09PM
Made in China.
Adding a secondary unlock would add to the cost.