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Saved for NCommander to post a story.
[Image redacted. There was a permissions issue -- the story was updated to include an image not in keeping with the editorial policy of this site. The party responsible has had their privileges rescinded. And, kudos to the community... They took this lemon, ran with it, and started a whole franchise of lemonade stands with a veritable cornucopia of insightful, witty, and self-deprecating comments! --martyb]
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Saved for NCommander to post a story
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The Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not responsible for them in any way.
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The reader this message encounters not failing to understand is cursed.
(Score: 3, Funny) by VLM on Monday March 20 2017, @07:34PM (1 child)
I can't help but notice the offset between Julian and Gregorian calendar is the 12 days necessary to make this an april fools day post.
I suppose there's something SN about being 12 days off and nobody noticing.
Personally I hope we have another "Saved for NCommander to post a story" on the 1st just so I can get "first dupe"
(Score: 2) by AthanasiusKircher on Monday March 20 2017, @07:47PM
It would be hilarious if it were so. Alas, two problems: (1) the error is now 13 days, and (2) the error goes the other way: today is March 7 [wikipedia.org] in the Julian calendar, not April 1st.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @07:59PM
Get the comments first, then find the news story to fit!
(Score: 3, Informative) by turgid on Monday March 20 2017, @08:13PM
They've made contact at last!
I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent [wikipedia.org].
(Score: 3, Insightful) by nobu_the_bard on Monday March 20 2017, @08:33PM (1 child)
what the heck
i don't even
(Score: 2) by Gaaark on Tuesday March 21 2017, @01:51AM
BUT!:
Is, uh,...Is your wife a goer, eh? Know whatahmean, know whatahmean, nudge nudge, know whatahmean, say no more?
--- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---
(Score: 2) by gawdonblue on Monday March 20 2017, @08:36PM
Is a Mercedes.
(Score: 1) by DmT on Monday March 20 2017, @08:46PM (2 children)
Is this the famous internet everyone keep talking about?
(Score: 1) by chucky on Monday March 20 2017, @09:25PM
Yes, it is.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @10:08PM
You found it! But when you come off your ayahuasca trip it isn't going to be nearly as interesting.
(Score: 2) by jimtheowl on Monday March 20 2017, @09:27PM
She must have married for the money.
(Score: 2) by looorg on Monday March 20 2017, @09:45PM (1 child)
Riveting story. Can't wait for the follow up and that image can't be unseen ...
(Score: 2) by Subsentient on Monday March 20 2017, @10:32PM
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." -Jiddu Krishnamurti
(Score: 2) by inertnet on Monday March 20 2017, @10:37PM (2 children)
Was that done with the new Google JPEG algorithm?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21 2017, @01:46PM (1 child)
No, the story was compressed with the super efficient compression algorithm rm. Unfortunately NCommander noticed too late that he didn't have the corresponding decompression program installed, and couldn't find it anywhere on the web. :-)
(Score: 2) by DECbot on Tuesday March 21 2017, @02:58PM
So you're telling me that I've been using rm wrong all along? So it is a one-way compression utility that compresses files to zero bytes and not a utility to delete files! Amazing! I need to read more man page! Look at that, I can compression my whole hard drive with the -rf flag at the root directory​! Be back in a minute, I've got to try this out.... I bet I can download the internet if I pipe wget through rm before archiving it.... So cool!
cats~$ sudo chown -R us /home/base
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @10:55PM (2 children)
Everyone here's been smoking reefer, obviously.
Now, who has the munchies (it's din-din time on the east coast).
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @11:49PM (1 child)
Here are some snack suggestions [commonpost.boo.jp] for you!
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21 2017, @12:09AM
1. Posts randomly about 420.
2. Boss offers to buy dinner for anyone that wants to work thorough.
2. Eats Chinese takeout for dinner (working in a test lab).
3. Comes back here to find a link to surreal Chinese food.
4. ???
5. Profit (wha?)
(Score: 2) by Murdoc on Tuesday March 21 2017, @01:01AM (2 children)
I'm all for joke articles, especially on April 1, but I don't need to start my day that way. Remember why we put the domain names after links? Or has it been too long?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21 2017, @01:53AM (1 child)
First off - Quake is simply incredible. It lets you repeatedly kill your boss in the office without being arrested. :) -- Signal 11, in a slashdot comment
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21 2017, @01:48PM
FTFY :-)
(Score: 2) by Gaaark on Tuesday March 21 2017, @01:58AM
https://soylentnews.org/comments.pl?noupdate=1&sid=18569&page=1#commentwrap [soylentnews.org]
--- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21 2017, @03:47AM (1 child)
Welp, it finally happened here at SN. Editorial censorship. I'm outta here. Anyone have twenty bucks I can use to start pipeslash.org? It'll be purple!
(Score: 2) by maxwell demon on Tuesday March 21 2017, @08:01AM
It's true. Total losers. So sad. Make purple great again!
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
(Score: 2) by VanessaE on Tuesday March 21 2017, @06:58AM (1 child)
Saved for random, entirely off-topic post about some useless or over-hyped product that we're supposed to buy just because the poster thinks we should (can anyone say "ay pee kay"? :-) ) ...
Speaking of off-topic, wrapping "" around the topic text is enough to trigger the lameness filter ("please enter a subject"). Guess "[]" works though.
(Score: 2) by maxwell demon on Tuesday March 21 2017, @07:59AM
I'm wondering if I should moderate that post as spam. ;-)
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21 2017, @04:05PM (3 children)
On the March to 1,000!
(Score: 2) by maxwell demon on Wednesday March 22 2017, @06:30AM (2 children)
No longer marching, it seems.
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday March 23 2017, @01:57PM (1 child)
March on!
Step by step
The people's progress
Towards greatness
On heaven's steppe
.>
Where's everyone gone?
(Score: 2) by maxwell demon on Thursday March 23 2017, @07:03PM
Maybe they are tired of March and decided to skip the rest of it and just go directly to April.
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.