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janrinok writes "A little light-hearted relief:
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
If it weren't for C, we'd all be programming in BASI and OBOL.
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
More humour can be found at bash.org"
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
If it weren't for C, we'd all be programming in BASI and OBOL.
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
More humour can be found at bash.org"
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Janrinok - FOR TRAINING ONLY - do not release!
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I'm sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.
(Score: 1) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:19AM
Is two articles previous.
(Score: 5, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:20AM
Maybe this shouldn't have been released. It looks like it was for training only.
(Score: 5, Funny) by nobbis on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:23AM
true, buts it's funny, about tech and not a dupe, so beating most /. submissions already
It's easy to look up when your mind's in the gutter
(Score: 2) by mrbluze on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:30AM
Yeah I laughed at it. But also the other articles today have been fantastic, and the comments! Whoa! Highly recommended reading.
Do it yourself, 'cause no one else will do it yourself.
(Score: 1) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 27 2014, @10:37AM
it's not a dupe, but a rehash of the jokes everybody already knows.
but anyhow, does Soylentnews have an acronym like "/."? "SN" or "SNiP"? or just a S like the favicon?
(Score: 5, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 27 2014, @11:01AM
How about 'Oylentnew'? (Because the S is soylent)
Ugh, I embarrass myself.
(Score: 1) by bucc5062 on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:20PM
Thank you very much, now I have to clean off my screen. You must be from Brooklyn
The more things change, the more they look the same
(Score: 1) by EvilJim on Thursday February 27 2014, @08:45PM
yeah, that was brilliant, I usually don't lol, but I lol'ed
(Score: 2) by mcgrew on Thursday February 27 2014, @03:13PM
I'm partial to S/N because of the double meaning.
A Black, Hispanic, or Muslim voting for Trump is like a Jew voting for Hitler
(Score: 2, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 27 2014, @03:40PM
What [wikipedia.org] double [wikipedia.org] meaning are you talking about?
(Score: 1) by TK on Thursday February 27 2014, @07:09PM
Clearly it's a play on the abbreviation of Senegal, but only true fans will get the joke.
Speaking of which, has soylentnews.sn been registered...?
The fleas have smaller fleas, upon their backs to bite them, and those fleas have lesser fleas, and so ad infinitum
(Score: 1) by EvilJim on Thursday February 27 2014, @08:42PM
Signal to Noise ratio?
(Score: 2) by mcgrew on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:40PM
Exactly.
A Black, Hispanic, or Muslim voting for Trump is like a Jew voting for Hitler
(Score: 1) by EvilJim on Thursday February 27 2014, @10:03PM
Very good sir, carry on.
(Score: 5, Funny) by c0lo on Thursday February 27 2014, @11:52AM
FTFY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0 https://soylentnews.org/~MichaelDavidCrawford
(Score: 3, Interesting) by fotonix on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:34AM
This looks SO much like the final paper for my Computer Degree from the University of Easter Island (Nigeria Campus, payments by Western Union to Prof I.Ripov based in Belarus)
Actually, this made my day after "one of those days".. more like two such days in a row. Thanks for putting a smile back on my face!
Over-thought solutions get over-engineered and miss the user's requirements.
(Score: 3, Funny) by nobbis on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:41AM
did you pass ?
It's easy to look up when your mind's in the gutter
(Score: 2) by FatPhil on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:32PM
"posted by on Thursday February 27, @09:08AM"
If it hasn't been posted by anyone, then clearly it hasn't been posted. Which is good, as it means you won't have to waste your time reading my reply, which also I didn't post.
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people; the smallest discuss themselves
(Score: 3, Funny) by janrinok on Thursday February 27 2014, @02:26PM
Thanks for that, FatPhil. It was the result of a mistake, but I take some small pleasure in looking at the number of comments it has received. There are other sites which would welcome that level of a response!
I am not interested in knowing who people are or where they live. My interest starts and stops at our servers.
(Score: 3, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:36AM
OMG SoylentNews has been exposed. This top secret document shows the evil tactics of the rebels. Humor! Oh noes!
(Score: 3, Funny) by mrwizrd on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:54AM
...needs more training.
(Score: 3, Funny) by janrinok on Thursday February 27 2014, @10:13AM
That's what I was trying to achieve. :[
I am not interested in knowing who people are or where they live. My interest starts and stops at our servers.
(Score: 1) by mrwizrd on Thursday February 27 2014, @10:57AM
That's okay 3 I got a laugh out of it anyway :)
(Score: 1) by mrwizrd on Thursday February 27 2014, @11:00AM
... Hmm. Somehow managed to get a "3" in my reply. I guess I'm the one who needs more training!
(Score: 2) by unitron on Thursday February 27 2014, @11:36AM
I remember who played #2, and who played #6, of course, but who played #3?
something something Slashcott something something Beta something something
(Score: 1) by Ryuugami on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:30PM
Yes, but what I want to know is...
Who's on first, dammit.
If a shit storm's on the horizon, it's good to know far enough ahead you can at least bring along an umbrella. - D.Weber
(Score: 2) by unitron on Thursday February 27 2014, @01:49PM
Yes, he is, but you don't have to swear about it.
And didn't you also have a question?
something something Slashcott something something Beta something something
(Score: 2, Funny) by crutchy on Thursday February 27 2014, @10:43AM
and how do i subscribe to your newsletter?
(Score: 5, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 27 2014, @11:06AM
-----http://www.bash.org/?835030-----
(Score: 3, Informative) by Jerry Smith on Thursday February 27 2014, @11:15AM
You mean http://www.qdb.us/ [www.qdb.us] ? :)
It's a bit more updated than bash, but still worth the occasional chuckle
All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.
(Score: 5, Interesting) by Drake_Edgewater on Thursday February 27 2014, @11:47AM
These are in the top 100 anyway...
hunter2 [bash.org].
A common typo [bash.org].
How to deal with free credit cards and coupons [bash.org].
Worst night out ever [bash.org].
I followed this advice [bash.org] last Valentine's day.
A short one [bash.org].
A classic one [bash.org].
Loser [bash.org].
Check your IRC commands [bash.org] twice.
A misunderstanding [bash.org].
(Score: 3, Funny) by Thexalon on Thursday February 27 2014, @04:46PM
What about this classic [bash.org]? (not exactly safe for work)
The only thing that stops a bad guy with a compiler is a good guy with a compiler.
(Score: 2, Funny) by TK on Thursday February 27 2014, @07:13PM
I just found out that bash.org is blocked at work.
That particular link may be the reason why, but I'll never know.
The fleas have smaller fleas, upon their backs to bite them, and those fleas have lesser fleas, and so ad infinitum
(Score: 1) by DaTrueDave on Thursday June 26 2014, @01:46PM
That's certainly a classic!
(Score: 5, Funny) by SlimmPickens on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:13PM
A Byte walks into a bar.
The barman says "what's wrong?"
The Byte says "oh, parity error".
The barman says "I thought you looked a bit off".
(Score: 4, Funny) by Ryuugami on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:44PM
(This one's architecture dependent, but whatever.)
Eight bytes walk into a bar.
The barman asks, "Can I get you anything?"
"Yeah," reply the bytes. "Make us a double."
If a shit storm's on the horizon, it's good to know far enough ahead you can at least bring along an umbrella. - D.Weber
(Score: 1) by tangomargarine on Thursday February 27 2014, @04:40PM
After which, due to a misunderstanding, the bartender beats the hell out of them.
"Oops...I thought you meant a double [wikipedia.org] ."
"Is that really true?" "I just spent the last hour telling you to think for yourself! Didn't you hear anything I said?"
(Score: 3, Funny) by denmarkw00t on Thursday February 27 2014, @04:46PM
A SQL statement walks into a bar. He walks up to two tables and asks "May I join you?"
A SQL injection attack walks into a bar and starts to order a drink; suddenly, he stops mid-sentence and starts dropping tables left and right.
What's a PHP paternity test? preg_match
Why doesn't anyone use ksh? gesundheit
buck feta
(Score: 3, Informative) by LaminatorX on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:26PM
I could make this go away, but I'm inclined to let it stand. It has a certain earnest charm.
(Score: 5, Funny) by Ryuugami on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:39PM
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
If a shit storm's on the horizon, it's good to know far enough ahead you can at least bring along an umbrella. - D.Weber
(Score: 5, Funny) by martyb on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:57PM
Just noticed that there was no author listed for this story??!?
and when I look at it using View Source, I see:
I find humorous that "noone" has a sense of humor! ;^)
Wit is intellect, dancing.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by nukkel on Thursday February 27 2014, @01:13PM
In Belgium, there are people having a single-character last name ("O") and they have serious problems e.g. booking an airline ticket.
Imagine what life would be like if your name were the empty string ;)
(Score: 2) by martyb on Thursday February 27 2014, @01:24PM
nukkel (168) wrote:
It's obvious! There would be no problem! ;^)
Wit is intellect, dancing.
(Score: 2, Informative) by Drake_Edgewater on Thursday February 27 2014, @01:32PM
Here is number one [youtube.com]. Laugh.
(Score: 2, Interesting) by Snotnose on Thursday February 27 2014, @02:34PM
Several years ago it was one of the sites I checked daily. But it seems to have died, updates are few and far between (think years, not weeks).
But if you've never been there spend some time with it, there is a lot of comedy gold.
Bad decisions, great stories
(Score: 3, Informative) by len_harms on Thursday February 27 2014, @02:49PM
Yeah their updates have gone way down. QDB http://www.qdb.us/ [www.qdb.us] was pretty good too at one point. Though it seems people post back and forth on them so you get quite a large number of duplicates.
Latest feeds are your best bet on both sites.
(Score: 2, Informative) by nitehawk214 on Thursday February 27 2014, @05:23PM
The latest feed on bash.org has not been updated in over a year. I think its dead, Jim.
"Don't you ever miss the days when you used to be nostalgic?" -Loiosh
(Score: 2) by maxwell demon on Thursday February 27 2014, @07:02PM
Did Netcraft confirm it?
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
(Score: 1) by EvilJim on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:00PM
agreed
(Score: 3, Funny) by Serial_Priest on Thursday February 27 2014, @05:35PM
This article made me want to put on my robe and wizard hat.
(Score: 2, Funny) by tlezer on Thursday February 27 2014, @06:10PM
There are two types of people in this world. Those who can make sense of incomplete data...
(Score: 5, Interesting) by Adrian Harvey on Thursday February 27 2014, @06:18PM
I hearby propose "FOR TRAINING ONLY - do not release!" as the catch-all option in all polls from here forward! It's just too good a thing to waste on one single article....
(Score: 2) by Gaaark on Thursday February 27 2014, @08:38PM
Yes! The new Cowboy Neal!
+1 Karma for poutine! XD
--- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---
(Score: 1) by basecase on Friday February 28 2014, @03:59AM
I agree. Take that CowboyNeal.