Fantastical News Everyone! Remember an earlier SN article about CELLMATE, a male chastity device that got hacked and would not unlock your hardware? Well, now the maker of that IoT device says it's now totally safe to put your equipment into their device once again! They promise! This time for sure! Nothing could go wrong!
While we've covered the Internet of Broken Things for some time, where companies fail to secure the devices they sell which connect to the internet, the entire genre sort of jumped the shark in October of last year. That's when Qiui, a Chinese company, was found to have sold a penis chastity lock that communicates with an API that was wide open and sans any password protection. The end result is that users of a device that locks up their private parts could enjoy those private parts entirely at the pleasure of nefarious third parties. Qiui pushed out a fix to the API... but didn't do so for existing users, only new devices. Why? Well, the company stated that pushing it out to existing devices would again cause them to all lock up, with no override available. Understandably, there wasn't a whole lot of interest in the company's devices at that point.
But fear not, target market for penis chastity locks! Qiui says it's now totally safe to use the product again!
Since this device uses a proprietary API, there is still the issue of Vendor Lock In to be concerned about.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 11 2021, @06:43PM (5 children)
When the light goes on, you suddenly realize you are not really in bed with Nancy Pelosi, and your erection fails.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 11 2021, @08:41PM
Pelosi would be like fucking the mummy of Queen Hapshetsut with a fresh coat of lipstick.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 11 2021, @10:45PM (3 children)
Nancy Pelosi is the ultimate Chasity device for me.
Just the thought of her...all sex drive immediately fails.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @12:33AM (2 children)
That's because you're a Trumpfucker.
Just like the other Trump-humpers, nothing else matters to you. It's all you can think about.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @02:49AM (1 child)
Sorry, the wicked witch of the west does nothing for me. Maybe if she was 40 years younger... Or breaking me off a little bit of that quarter-billion networth.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @06:59AM
But you would suck the cock of the God-emperor in a New York second? Man, that is some really perverted authoritarian shit. You would have done the same for Idi Amin, Hitler, or Khadaffi? Of course you would. Cocksucker to one dictator, cocksucker to all.
What you can't stand is the democratic majority being in power, since they your skills are useless! Sucks to be you! Or, sucks to be you not sucking! Ha ha ha!!