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Why we Tend to Withhold our Gratitude, and why Researchers say that Needs to Change

Accepted submission by martyb at 2018-08-29 01:56:17 from the Thank you so very much for reading this! dept.
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Why Don't People Express Gratitude More Often [medium.com]?

“Researchers have known for 15 years that gratitude improves well-being. There’s lots of work done on this already,” says Amit Kumar, assistant professor of marketing at the McCombs School of Business and lead author of a new paper that examines the consequences of showing appreciation. “What was interesting to me is that even though it’s something that’s well-known, people still don’t express gratitude all that often.”

To find out why, Kumar and his co-author Nicholas Epley, from the University of Chicago, conducted a series of studies recently published [sagepub.com] in Psychological Science looking at what happens when people send letters of gratitude.

Their findings offer insight into why people tend to withhold their gratitude, shattering some myths, and validating a simple message: Your appreciation means far more to people than you think.

The study had letter-writers estimate how much the recipient would be surprised by the thank-you note and how much they would appreciate it. Further, they asked how important it was that it used "just the right" words and how articulate they appeared. The letter-writers significantly underestimated how much their letters were appreciated, and how little importance the recipient placed on the wording compared to the sincerity of the message that was sent:

“What we saw is that it only takes a couple minutes to compose letters like these — thoughtful and sincere ones,” says Kumar. “It comes at little cost, but the benefits are larger than people expect.”

So pick up your pen, keyboard, or phone and write that thank-you note.

So, if you've been holding off on sending someone a thank-you note, do not despair. A short, genuine expression of thanks means a lot and can help you feel better, too!


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