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Long ago (but not all that long) The Internet Oracle (aka Usenet Oracle, fam. "Orrie") was a popular source of humor and entertainment. For a sample,

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:
> My lawyer was trying to defend me for when I beat up my pal Edward
> "Skinny" Porkmann. And I heard him say it, right there in court, he
> said, Hipso fatso." I think he meant ME, and what kind of a lawyer is
> he if he insults me right in front of the judge? He claims he said ipso
> facto but that's no excuse because it was still a insult. Yes, I am
> fat, but does he have to say it out loud?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
} Ahhh, supplicant, you don't know how lucky you are to have such a
} lawyer. Let him do his job, for goodness sake.
}
} A little-known 17th century federal law called the Weighty Clams Act
} (named after Alfred Weighty, the little-known 17th century senator from
} Kentucky) makes it a crime to speculate on another person's vital
} statistics, including but not limited to, height, weight, and blood
} pressure. This was to combat the influx of carnival hucksters who were
} stealing business from the physicians by out-guessing them at these
} important measures. The newly-formed AMA lobbied for these protections,
} arguing that only trained professionals in the latest medical and hair
} cutting technologies should be allowed to guess at a patient's
} conditions.
}
} Your lawyer was telegraphing a subtle but effective message to Edward's
} lawyer: ease up or prepare for a malpractice suit.
}
} You owe the Oracle a plate of steamed vegetables.

Archives at https://internetoracle.org/digests.cgi [internetoracle.org]

Original Submission